Mumsnet demanding that I change my nickname

[AbortionFairyGodmother]

Suddenly after posting on several transgender issue related threads, I am getting a note in my email inbox:

"We wanted to drop you a line about your Mumsnet nickname, because we've have had a few reports from other posters about it and how it has caused distress.

Our aim is to make parents' lives easier by pooling and sharing advice and support, and while we're all for free speech, we really don't feel that this nickname is in the spirit of our philosophy.
We're asking therefore if you can change it please. "

Yeah, well, a lot of parents need abortions. My nickname is here because I am an abortion activist who sends abortion pills to women (mostly mothers!!) who desperately need them and are not in areas where they can access them.

Watch this, women. This is what censorship looks like. No "misgendering" people, no getting too far out of line, no being too public about your activism. Because it will offend someone. Best to make my nickname something like KittensAndFlowersLOL, right?

It's a medical term. Of course, anything is 'emotive' from a subjective point of view, but it's a widely accepted descriptive term for a medical process.

And I really don't think that a UK parenting website is an appropriate place for someone to act as AbortionDrugs2U sending out fuck knows what.

Are you working on the assumption that AFG is doing this on her own, without any knowledge to back her up and as some kind of a joke? That's making some pretty rude assumptions about her, isn't it? There are women less that 300 miles away from me right now who need services similar to those that AFG provide. Attack the name, if you really feel you must, but not the activism. Unless you know that she's just sending people aspirin and hoping for the best?

Yeah, exactly, the "cunty" type names made me assume that mere abortion would be trivial. Especially since I post on topics that are very women's rights oriented generally.

But if you have been affected badly by the outcome of either (as I have had friends who have been), then it is an emotive thing. I'm just saying that powerful words sometimes need to be handled carefully for some people.

defineme - you do know you can't hide an individual poster?

RapeFairyGodMother for rape councillors is ok then?

This ^^ with absolute bells on.

I like most of your posts op and your username always stands out. I prefer your new one though.

Also not on to compare rape and DV to abortion. Many women have abortions and are perfectly fine afterwards. Not the case with rape and DV.

People can think what they like about my activism; I was profiled on MSNBC last year for what I do and I am proud but I understand many people find it offensive and hard to accept. I've been doing this work for nearly a decade now, and the abortion situation in many places has only gotten more grim.

That's not comparable. Rape is a crime. Abortion (in most civilised countries) is not.

I'm not really offended by your user name

But your posts are weird and rambly and some of your points are woefully misjudged and could do with a heavy dose of sensitivity

Oh you linked to a blog? What an enormous surprise!

Ffs.

And to whoever said "if you don't like it then just hide the poster" unfortunately that facility is not possible on this site.

Forced abortion is a crime against humanity.

I support your work and your NN. There are many words that may offend/trigger people, there are other NN's on MN that I find disagreeable but it would never occur to me to request someone change their chosen NN to something that doesn't offend my delicate sensibilities.

Could be argued that calling myself "TheOtherWoman" or "IveGotYourHusbandNow" would be just as offensive to some people as the one's above.....

Offence can be a personal thing....

RapeFairyGodMother for rape councillors is ok then?

DomesticAbuseFairyGodMother for those helping DA victims would be ok?

Um no, and not even slightly comparable, because they --hopefully- wouldn't be helping women to access rape or DV.... Plus, are you suggesting that rape or DV are choices women would like to make, but are unable to access them? Because that would be the comparison...

Well I'm sure HQ would have spotted any sort of sabotage.

There has been a lot of debate on the subject recently and I'm sure a close eye is being kept on anything to do with them.

I don't believe women should need to be any more "sensitive" than men about these issues; I think the drive for approaching all problems with sensitivity toward feelings even above sensitivity toward material reality is what's destroying feminism.

Drop the 'FairyGodmother' part. It's awful.

Abortion is usually a simple and quick procedure that has the desired outcome of ending a pregnancy.

WTAF? Please tell me you're being disingenuous for the sake of it?

Are you really dismissing the deep and emotional trauma that having an abortion causes some people?

Seriously?

How many of the "cunty" MN usernames would be allowed on other websites? Not many....

But they not trying to promote cuntiness. AFG is to here to promote a cause sending out abortion pills, so am wondering how gets around that on other sites.

Are you really dismissing the deep and emotional trauma that having an abortion causes some people?

Some People, for many others it's not a huge deal.

I don't think anyone was suggesting rape or DV were choices but they are two situations which lead to abortion.

A plurality of women's predominant emotion after abortion, expressed in surveys, is relief.

You know who feels a lot more trauma typically? Birth mothers who give up babies for adoption. The studies are easy to find on scholar.google if you want, a majority of them experience trauma and loss. Yet I bet AdoptionFairyGodmother would be "aw, that's sweet." Because mumsnet has more women who are in the adoptive mum class than the birth mum class, so for them adoption is sweet, not traumatic. That's what I mean by classism.