Mumsnet demanding that I change my nickname

[AbortionFairyGodmother]

Suddenly after posting on several transgender issue related threads, I am getting a note in my email inbox:

"We wanted to drop you a line about your Mumsnet nickname, because we've have had a few reports from other posters about it and how it has caused distress.

Our aim is to make parents' lives easier by pooling and sharing advice and support, and while we're all for free speech, we really don't feel that this nickname is in the spirit of our philosophy.
We're asking therefore if you can change it please. "

Yeah, well, a lot of parents need abortions. My nickname is here because I am an abortion activist who sends abortion pills to women (mostly mothers!!) who desperately need them and are not in areas where they can access them.

Watch this, women. This is what censorship looks like. No "misgendering" people, no getting too far out of line, no being too public about your activism. Because it will offend someone. Best to make my nickname something like KittensAndFlowersLOL, right?

I just think calling people "classist" for objecting to your name is completely absurd. My objection to your name has nothing to do with my class.

I think what you do is very important. As I said previously, I think a different name would be
(1) more tactful
(2) make more sense to people who might need to message you

Yes, absurd, exactly.

I have never reported or commented on your name but I don't like it either.

I am and always have been pro-choice but I find the juxtaposition of fairy godmother and abortion very flippant.

But why should we have anybody advertising what they do on here via their usernames? Absolutely not.

By the way, I must say that I'd have been quite willing to change the name if people had approached me directly and told me directly of their feelings. As it is, I can't help but think that what actually happened is that people who disagree with me on other issues have decided that this was a rather clever way to make my day worse, not that people were genuinely affected by the name in a dire way.

The word abortion isn't rude, it's emotive. It's not relevant to compare it to 'Fuck' in this situation.

The word abortion isn't emotive. It's just a word which describes a process.

This sounds like attention seeking guff to be honest.

How exactly are Mumsnet 'demanding' you change your nickname?

And how would anyone know the back story to it?

Come to think about it, how do you know the people who reported your nickname were 'posh mums'? Or that this is in any way classist?

Truth is you don't know. Just as no-one knows the back story by looking at your name, or even whether what you're saying is true or not.

But that's the internet for you, so maybe chill out and try to see it from another point of view, rather than just your own?

I winced when I read it. It sounded as though it trivialised abortion (which I now see isn't the case but I didn't know that earlier) But being an adult I made the choice to continue to read the thread. I could have closed my screen if I wanted to.

I don't like being referred to as CIS. MN says tough. I have decided to keep using MN. I could have closed the screen if I wanted to.

I'd be interested to know if there were any reports from any other threads you have posted on, or if all originated from the trans threads. i.e Actual offence taken at the name, or whether it was seen as a stick to beat you with by posters who disagreed with your views.

You think people are reporting your name as offensive because you disagreed with them on a thread?

Jesus, can you imagine if that's what happened on every thread? We would all have to change our names at some point.

Do you prefer this?

I don't really understand why you're ignoring the forced abortion issue (a major feminist issue) and see talking about abortion solely in terms of something women choose as a feminist stance.

It's like you are only seeing half an issue, and then accusing other people who can see a wider range of issues as being ignorant or whatever.

I'm not massively offended by it, but as said, it lack sensitivity and finesse.

It would be like a person who is passionate about raising cancer awareness and supplying much needed medication to those with cancer who have poor access, calling themselves 'CancerUnicorn' or something similar.It's just a bit .

Also, could it be that this is a mainly UK website, where generally speaking access to abortion is fine?

The guide that you are selling online?
I wouldn't even buy vitamins over the Internet. For some women an abortion minus any medical care will of course be better than the alternative. But the vast majority of women on mumsnet have access to legal abortions. Should they too start buying from the Internet as it's easier?

Or should I say, this?

So how to do you get around other websites with that username? or do you use more diplomatic name to get your point across

The word abortion isn't emotive

Of course it is to some people.

When I saw your name I thought you were pro-life. I agree, AbortionActivist might be clearer better.

I think what you do is brilliant and your nickname is perfect: the shock factor is what's needed to draw our attention to the shocking situations that AbortionFairyGodmother is responding to.
If you are offended, then hide the poster, it's a big site.
I am proud of mumsnet that Anyfucker and all the rest are here because it's women expressing themselves freely.

@AbortionFairyGodmother

By the way, I must say that I'd have been quite willing to change the name if people had approached me directly and told me directly of their feelings. As it is, I can't help but think that what actually happened is that people who disagree with me on other issues have decided that this was a rather clever way to make my day worse, not that people were genuinely affected by the name in a dire way.

Well now, we can clarify that this was absolutely NOT the case.

Afraid we've had to remove the link to your blog because we don't allow advertising in this way, not because we're trying to censor you in any way.

Sorry to hear that you've had a bad day.Kindest to you

I like it.

MistressMerryWeather: You would be astonished at the lengths trans activists, specifically, have gone to in order to complain about women saying things they do not like. I have friends who have been fired from jobs, I have friends who have been stalked, I have friends who receive hundreds of death threats weekly. A few complaints about a username would be the very tip of the iceberg.

So how to do you get around other websites with that username?

How many of the "cunty" MN usernames would be allowed on other websites? Not many....

I don't think you can compare cancer with abortion. Cancer is much much more serious. In fact it is trivialising cancer to compare the two. Abortion is usually a simple and quick procedure that has the desired outcome of ending a pregnancy.