Feminist pub XIX: The Bluestocking meanders into May

[YonicScrewdriver]

We're running at about six weeks per pub at the moment! So if you want chat with a feminist flavour, or with fellow feminists, or just want to admire our patriarchy blaster cannon and goat - welcome!

Last pub Here

The vagina thread is just the kind of thing that makes FWR great - non-fwrs will turn up, think we're going on about trivialities, while the rest of us get to hang around and make bad jokes while discussing something that does matter a bit what with it being education of children and all.

The problems of naming the vagina do often crop up in chat as well!

The naming turns up in AIBU as well. The vulva brigade turn out in force there too.

I see what you mean, egg. But by emulating men I mean emulating the traditional method of being seen as a successful man - working out of the home full time, bringing in plenty of money, and leaving the running of the home to someone else. Where's Buffy when I need help with the words? Basically I think our measurements of what constitutes success or achievement too. I don't want to achieve equality by teaching women to do well in a man's world. I want to achieve equality by changing the world so it's for all of us.

Gah, missed a couple of words there. Our measures of success etc are gendered. Men pushed to do X, women pushed to do Y, and so X being seen as better than Y.

YY Brid. I consider my career to have been very successful because it's let me have a good work-life balance. DH managed to get this too, but whereas for me moving, to part-time work entailed a couple of pleasant conversations with my manager and HR, DH felt compelled to keep on in a higher-status but pressurised position until his health broke down and he really couldn't work FT. Which is obviously totally shitty, and a clear case of the sort of inequality which shouldn't happen. However, if your metric for 'success' includes parenting - having a good relationship with your kids, being able to spend time with them, talk to them, encourage their interests - then he's doing great. Or for that matter having time to spend with your OH on more than just essentials!

Male colleague has sent apologies for this 5pm social event because of something at his child's school. Now that's lovely and all, but I didn't feel the need to go on about how inconvenient the timing was when I sent my apologies, or big up how great a parent I am because I pick my DCs up from nursery. But he seems to be expecting praise.

I do have another colleague (father of preschoolers) on side on this which helps a lot actually. There is one particular meeting that is always on my day off and I've asked (slightly feebly as generally it's a bit of a waste of time but occasionally is interesting) for it to be rotated, the organiser said no but I think this particular colleague is taking a dim view and may press for a more helpful answer. There are just so many of these little things, it's getting wearing.

May I just jump in here and say that same sex marriage is now legal in all of the United States! Thank you, Supreme Court of the US. Thank you, Justice Kennedy!

Yes, Seneca! Excellent!

Oh cool!

Go SCOTUS!

That's fantastic Seneca!!

Excellent news!

Great!

Will states be challenging it? I assume it won't go down well in the Bible Belt. I expect some of them will now stop denying climate change but say it's man&man made.

The states really can't challenge it; the decision is based on the 14th Amendment of the Constitution which guarantees equal protection, and the Supreme Court is the final word on the meaning of the Constitution.

I think that a couple of states are delaying it for a few days, but they won't be able to delay long. I am in Georgia, the state I grew up in right now visiting family, and there were same sex marriages performed here yesterday, the very day the Court made the decision. The governor and the attorney general said we're following the law.

And this is what the White House looked like last night.

On my flight back from the US a couple of days ago, the flight attendant was ecstatic about equal marriage and also looking forward to Pride in London. It made me smile to see how times have changed since I first started flying for work

Interesting snippet in Last Word today on r4 - the marriage ban for women who were Diplomatic Service Officers (ie ambassadors, consuls etc) was only lifted in 1973.

Hello! Been busy being touristy last weekend.

We were caught in the aftermath of Pride in London. Very crowded even round midnight.

So I have been spending some time on an adoption group which is mainly US families, specific to trans-racial adoption, and with the incidents in Charleston, etc. etc. a lot of talk about privilege.

This was linked to - and a few people are doing/have done a #whiteprivilege "month of posting".

Just thought you might be interested.

Interesting article drspouse.

I just wanted an understanding place to have a quick grumble about the fact that they played Blurred Lines at a primary school summer fete?

I'd never actually heard it before; it is an awful song. Who thought that was appropriate?

Grumble over. Thanks all.

Oh that's shit!

I mean, it was only background noise, but still...I had heard everything about it but not heard it. It was quite unpleasant.