Feminist pub XIX: The Bluestocking meanders into May

[YonicScrewdriver]

We're running at about six weeks per pub at the moment! So if you want chat with a feminist flavour, or with fellow feminists, or just want to admire our patriarchy blaster cannon and goat - welcome!

Last pub Here

It absolutely is a mindset issue - the women I know when younger were on the pill to help guard against pregnancy, and used condoms for STIs (in general - and when one was neglected, they had the other to step up and mitigate risk of pregnancy a bit). Once they were in a long term relationship they became more lax on the condoms.

The men only had condoms, and if they were slapdash, that's it, fertile seed sprinkled around everywhere. Men really, really need something that is the equivalent of the pill, and it's even better that it's non-hormonal. I don't need to trust my DP, because I'm using my own contraception, it really isn't something that should be delegated.

Wow, the comments on that article. I'd laugh if they weren't so scarey.

Men get control of who and when women get pregnant. Women will have to learn to be nice to men again. And from this thread women are angry they'll no longer be able to use a man to get a baby. No more benefits mothers using some bloke to get a flat(baby), no more "I forgot to take the pill". Men have had zero say in this, now we get total control. I've read in this thread: who'd want to have sex with a neuter, revealing they really only wanted a baby and not the man.

It seems that many on there, after an unplanned pregnancy feel the women shouldn't be allowed to keep the baby, or if they do, then the man should be able to opt out. They can opt out by taking some of the responsibility by wearing a condiment or not having sex (esp with someone they don't seem to trust)

If a man lies about being on the pill, and a woman ends up pregnant as a result, her saying "he tricked me" would be met with " it's your own fault, if you didn't want a child you should have took precautions yourself"

Men not taking responsibility and believing what partner says = trapped. The woman's fault.
Woman not taking responsibility and believing what partner says = stupid. The woman's fault

condom, not condiment.

I was going to say.. I imagine ketchup would sting a bit after a while :)

There seems to be a level of acceptance, as if this is a normal way of thinking, that women only want men for sperm because it leads to money and once there's no sperm we'll come crawling.

It's just strange - I know DP would be as disgusted by it as I am - we wanted kids together, neither of us had to trick the other into it!

MN have given a rubbish response to the Brantano question if anyone is interested in reading it. Let clothes be clothes have responded to them.

here

What the actual fuck has happened to MNHQ of late?

Marketing heels to children is the thin end of the wedge ...

Groan.
Girls shoes ... I love mountain warehouse where they do kids shoes fit for doing stuff in in a choice of colours, mostly exactly the same styles.

Hello, I normally just lurk but DH is asleep and I want someone to moan to about a BBC article/link. Why does the front page of the BBC website link to this article m.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/33226829 with the text "Mother of three"? That's really not the most interesting fact in there, and not how I've ever heard a male footballer described. So frustrating!

We won!!!!

Errol I won't give up the day job.

I'm coming to hide in the pub. From bonkers people who seem to think that erasing the ability to give birth from the definition of "woman" is something other than a psychotic and profoundly antisocial statement. Gah!!

I can't really pretend to understand that!

I'm feeling distinctly unmotivated today. I graciously agreed to change my working days this week so I had Monday off and am working Friday instead. I thought I had back to back meetings today and tomorrow as well (Friday is a given) but it turns out not, so I should be either catching up on work-related admin (or slightly work-related admin, the line is quite fuzzy at times, and then there are those phone calls that are very hard to make with a toddler around e.g. to make a GP appointment and explain what it's for), or getting on with a larger task I am actually near to finishing.

But I'm on MN instead.

A fascinating post from lotuslight

Evey woman at home is kicking other women in the teeth as she is reducing the chances of women getting enough power. It is a political feminist issue and appalling that so many women are at home. If tax credits are ensuring that women are kept down then they are playing a big part in damage to women and usually at least on feminist issues the left are with me, if on nothing else. Someone will now tell me it's a wonderful feminist act to stay home and clean the house now I suppose - such a great "choice".

Where do you even start??

Lotus has never changed and she never will, BD77. Save your breath to cool your porridge!

Just roll your eyes and move on. Or do what I do and seek out her posts for the comedy value.

That flavour of feminism has never sat too well with me though. It suggests the obvious route to equality is for women to emulate men. Which is still positing male as superior. One might just as well say, "Right, in the name of equality, men can stay home just like women, and cook and clean and breed. What? What do you mean, 'cook what'? Food just magically springs forth from the fridge, doesn't it?" May have got slightly sidetracked there. Or maybe not - I suppose I'm highlighting the need for different roles for different people according to their strengths, without reference to genitals genes or gonads. We can't all go out and earn six figures working a sixty hour week.

I did wonder about her, she didn't have any replies to my tory's only one voting against the gender pay bill and i guess shes under the impression that as she's doing fine why cant every other women, they just not putting in the 60+ hrs she is!

It suggests the obvious route to equality is for women to emulate men

Couldn't agree more, a new way forward is needed.

Naturally it's all our own fault we're not ruling the world. We just had to go and demand things like maternity leave, trousers, and sleep. What were we expecting, really?

I work part-time. Half the time I kick some woman in the teeth and half the time some woman kicks me in the teeth. So you should all be asking me my opinion and experience in this teeth-kicking business. £50 per question.

Me too. Perhaps we can pair up and just alternately kick each other?

Sounds painful. Perhaps we just take turns being nice to each other?

Which for some reason reminds me of DS2 practising his sight-reading:

Me: DS2, what were you thinking when there is that long rest here?

DS2: Rainbows. >

Er, being workaholic, a wee bit obsessed, and well paid is "emulating men"?

I get the "don't be obnoxious to people because they haven't prioritised/had the opportunity to earn six figures", but fucks sake (one day my autocorrect will learn I really do want to say that), I don't think obsession is or should be a gendered attribute.

When I type 'fu' into my phone the first option is 'fucking'. Mind you, that is usually the correct word. Even my phone knows I swear too much. :o

Doctor My text thing reserves judgement but gives a choice of fucking and further. Whatsapp thinks it should be further, with fucking and funny as priority choices. I wonder if "further" is more common than "fucking".