Feminist pub XIX: The Bluestocking meanders into May

[YonicScrewdriver]

We're running at about six weeks per pub at the moment! So if you want chat with a feminist flavour, or with fellow feminists, or just want to admire our patriarchy blaster cannon and goat - welcome!

Last pub Here

I think dh sometimes thinks she's noticing this stuff because I push it on her, which I don't, it's actually her questioning things that's raised my consciousness. She notices so much stuff that I've never given thought to.

She was watching a Calvin Harris music clip and I heard her ask him why the girls were all in bikinis dancing, I was listening in and I could tell he was flustered, he said something like "because they are on a beach, it's hot and they are at a party" so dd asked "why was the man in jeans and Tshirt, if it's so hot?" Then it clicked for him. He could see it through her eyes.

I like your daughter, INicked

I. Finally. Got. A. Job.

And it's a good one!

Congratulations, depth first! Is it in software by any chance?

Inicked, I reckon now more dads are more involved with their kids, those with DDs will increasingly get feminism. It's an iterative process.

Hello,

First post here , coming in off of the back of the Bruce Jenner thread.

Whilst I do consider myself a feminist, I feel like a bit of an uneducated one. Would anyone be able to recomend some blogs or books so I can do some more reading?

Thank you

Well done Depth!

Tribble, welcome. Lurking and posting here is good for basics. Also - Cordelia Fine delusions of gender; Laura Bates everyday sexism; Helena Kennedy eve was framed are good general books.

Tribble, welcome! I second the recommendations above.

Erroll yes it is! Keyboard warrior here

Hello Tribble.
I've heard lots of good things about Glosswatch's blog. ( I'll post link when I'm home) Do you have a tablet? If you have an ePub reader app, I have a couple of ePubs I can email you.

Well done Depth

Hello Tribble

I had a long argument with my French boss about why 'they' could be used as a singular pronoun, and wasn't necessarily a plural pronoun. I think it was in the context of a job advert - he didn't think it was appropriate to use 'they' (as in 'they will be organised and proactive') and wanted to change it to he/she.

She/he, surely.

My Collins English dictionary says "they" can be used this way.

I use 'they' in the singular sense to avoid she/he in formal documents. My colleagues change it back to he as default and she only when it's clear she is a she. I change it back and password protect the document. I'm winning.

Well done Blis!

I use (s)he, pronounced "sh-he"

Well done depth, I missed your post earlier.

Can I have a proud parent moment (which isn't especially feminist)?

DD (11) has been learning about puberty and periods at school. This evening she had some questions. We've just had a family conversation around the topic involving me, DH, DD and DS (9). The discussion ranged from the relative merits of pads vs tampons, the biological triggers of puberty, and
whether it is unfair to charge VAT for sanitary products.

This type of topic would have been totally taboo in the household I grew up in (DH was shipped off to bording school, so wouldn't really have had the chance to raise it as a topic).

Can I be a little bit proud that we can discuss this type if thing with avtorsl lack of embarrassment and that the DC are comfortable asking questions and contributing to the discussion?

Good article by Annie Vernon on women's sports week in the Times today.

Harry, yes you can have your moment . Today's afternoon play on R4 was about(or based on) that Indian bloke who decided to make affordable pads - I only heard the first few minutes.

Harry, hurrah! My DF and DBs would probably have exploded at the very thought of such a family conversation...

R.e. cis / trans - how else should or could I have expressed the difference between those apples and oranges?

R.e. pronouns, I've often wondered if we could invent a gender neutral pronoun - 'they' reads a bit inelegantly particularly when you're trying to refer to a 'singular' (but not really singular - those sorts of "the average person in this situation might think... he would then wonder" sort of thing!)

Then again maybe we need to spend time using 'she' for that purpose. I remember my eleven-year-old mind being blown by a philosophy website which referred to God as 'she'.

I try and use she where possible and where I remember.

Wrt the "I don't need feminism" thing, DD1 was like that, right up until she experienced sexism so blatant even she was outraged. She even said "Dad, you were right. For once". She's not as radical as DD2 yet.

From memory, DD2 became a feminist after being told 'girls can't have tattoos'. At age 13 she asked me if she could and explained why she asked, and I told her that once she got to 18 no man can tell her what she can or cannot do. Unless it's a police officer and she's about to commit a crime. :o

Harry - absolutely a feminist issue. Treating natural bodily processes as shameful, which happens more to women than men, is completely a problem. You would talk about if you cut your finger and it hurt, why is menstrual blood somehow a dirty secret. Of course, people are allowed privacy and may not wish to discuss their personal bodies, but a general discussion about how bodies (and minds) mature and develop seems very suitable for family time.

I'm on another forum that uses "hu", mainly for anonymity.

Harry - this is how I'm trying to raise my boys - only 4 and 1 right now, so no shame or embarrassment, just natural curiosity becoming everyday normal once it's explained and I'd like to keep it that way.

DS2 thinks tampons are sweeties (one track mind), DS1 calls them my blood thingies, and is very much against me being in the bath with him if I have one in (it's the string - I think he counts it as clothes). I'm just trying to keep them open about it all.

I've noticed a few technical book authors now using "she" as default, or alternating she and he for examples (which is actually very helpful in making it easier to track who's doing what).

Though strangely some men in tech find a female default harder to identify with. Who'd have thought, eh?

I try to use neutral language as far as possible when writing technical documentation. It's often possible to avoid pronouns especially if you're using a fairly formal style.

I sat through an entire meeting with someone from the resourcing team on Friday related to a new hire into my team.

Me: I would like the short list to be half male half female if at all possible.
Him: oh ha ha well you know that's not really possible to guarantee

we could resurrect the use of 'one' for unknown individuals.