teenage girls under massive pressure to do anal :(

[GinAndSonic]

Article may upset some people. Saw this www.telegraph.co.uk/women/mother-tongue/11554595/Pornography-has-changed-the-landscape-of-adolescence-beyond-all-recognition.html in chat and thought it was something important to discuss, in particular this about teenages and anal Sex - "Moreover, both genders expected males to find pleasure in the act whereas females were mostly expected to “endure the negative aspects such as pain or a damaged reputation”."

Im not surprised by this sadly, as i was anally raped by my boyfriend as a teen over 10 years ago and pornification is only getting worse. What can we do, other thab talk to our kids? Can we do anything on a bigger scale to fix the problem, not just try to help our kids survive the shit storm?

I also remember as a fairly young child hearing the "Hilary" climbed Mount Everest and thinking "Oh at last a woman that's done something famous!" The disappointment I felt when I heard it was Edmund Hilary was awful - even at that young age I thought "where are all the women?" It's hard to overstate the impact that has on young girls - never seeing any woman doing anything, or being celebrated for anything other than their looks.

So for a start:

-Significant and well written aspirational fictional characters.
-A celebration of female achievements both historically and present day.

Might I add encouraging contributions from girls in educational settings? There has to be a feeling that thoughts/feelings are of consequence growing up.

Let's face it there has been pressure about anal sex for a long while going back to the 70s from Led Zepplin with Whole Lot of Love to Deep Purple's Knockin' at Your Back Door. Frankie in the 80s with Relax to Toni Basil with Hey Mickey. Then the Back Street Boys I want it that way.... There are songs that have really quite heavy on pushing the message.

Plus obviously the Christians who are saddlebacking, wonder how long that has been going on? Just because the name is recent doesn't mean the concept is.

As people have said it is about education and consent, I had an ex who was a deep purple fan and kept trying to get his own way. Never forced himself on me though so not sure what that says. Guess everyone has a different story but we have to realise the issue goes back years. Just that with social media and the internet in general it is much easier to talk about things with people you would never normal even see.

I can add female achievement is abundant historically we have just downplayed/ignored it.

Yup. Instead of yet another commemoration of war and all the men who died, why not a celebration of women and all the life they have brought into this world?

Well even if you'll suffer a commemoration of wartime achievement, women did a lot in WWII, Beatrice Shilling I think it was who fixed the spitfire's design flaw that allowed it to turn and bank comprehensively.

I also remember reading a fascinating article on post war female characters in Hollywood movies being stronger, and more rounded but a steady decline in that trend as the decades rolled on.

" You don’t have to spend long with an insecure teenage girl (is there any other kind?) to work out that her happiness is tremulously yoked to the getting of Likes or little lovehearts on Facebook or Instagram "

sorry I am with DWH here, what condescending shyte. My dd16 does not even have instagram nor does she use fb other than for private chats with real friends/boyfriends.

No, I don't want to hear about war and the ways in which women were "allowed" to contribute. Women and only women do something amazing - they grow new humans and put themselves at great risk to do so. And all we ever hear about it is what the new thing is we can't eat, how fat or thin pregnant celebrities look and how mothers are failing in so many ways. How about for a second saying "wow, isn't it fucking amazing that women do this for the world?" Just for a bloody second.

Anal sex is not new, of course it's not. What is new is it's depiction as mainstream. When I was a young woman there were pornographic novels - I think they were called "Black Lace" that we shared around and there were usually some anal sex scenes in them. But it was almost always in the context of a hugely experienced man initating a girl- usually over several chapters. Now two clicks and there is someone shoving his huge dick up some girl's arse with no foreplay and either she loves it. Or she hates it- either response seems equally acceptable.

Cali fair enough of course you're right.

Totally BlackRider, and I agree that all accomplishments should be celebrated. But I think, personally, that the total silence around childbirth is just mindblowing - how do we ignore the fact that women create new life?

Good. Two people have now told us that their teenage daughters have sky high self confidence, bags of self esteem and would never be influenced by societal pressures to do anything they didn't want to do. Obviously feminism's work is done. Hurrah!

lol let's hope, not sure about 'bags of self esteem' hak, but not the pathetic instagram addict waiting for approval depicted by that PP.

I agree that the silence around childbirth is incredible. It is changing and increasingly being shown in the media (one born every minute etc) but until very recently, childbirth and the experience of childbirth had basically no place in our media or culture. This struck me when watching Senna which had great reviews but it struck me that women go through a titanic struggle themselves - almost all of them do. But nobody makes a heroic film about that. Whereas a man whizzing round a racetrack just for competition is somehow noble and worthy of lionising.

It is incredible arrogance on the part of men IMO that they start wars and then expect everyone to wail and mourn about it forever more. On the news this morning there was a thing about a memorial for the battle of Gallipoli in WWI. So we are still memorialising men's violence from 100 years ago. We're supposed to all stand and feel serious about the fact that men arranged for other men to shoot each other in the head. Give me a fucking break.

" We're supposed to all stand and feel serious about the fact that men arranged for other men to shoot each other in the head. Give me a fucking break. "

good one dana, cannot find my 'plus' key or I would give it plus ten.

When I was a teen anal sex was frowned upon. Many people I knew were homophobic (or pretended to be homophobic to fit in) and anal sex was portrayed amongst people my age as a very gay thing to do. Nowadays with increased access to porn anal sex is seen as more acceptable and more normal and the motto 'every hole is a goal' has become commonly used. I find it quite frightening as many teens don't realise the consequences of engaging in anal sex if not done properly. I dont think teens (on the whole) are knowledgable enough to make decisions about having anal sex.
I only have boys but I will be discussing all types of sex with them before it is likely that they will be engaging in any sexual acts. It is important that we teach our children about respecting themselves and others sexually and not persuading others to do things which they are not fully willing to do and might be harmful in any way (physically or emotionally). I will not be relying on school teachers or the playground whispers to deliver this information to my sons. We need to inform our children that porn is not normal and that they should not be doing things just because everyone else says they have, because experience tells me that most teens have not done half of what they boast about.

So do I Black Rider but I'm sick of all these ceremonies that assume sacrifice in war is a noble thing and we must all feel grateful forever more for the men who shot each other. Those poor men were sent to their death by idiots in war rooms. There is nothing to feel noble or humbled by - it is a travesty. Why are we still "commemorating" such barbarity and ignoring women's contribution to the world?