teenage girls under massive pressure to do anal :(

[GinAndSonic]

Article may upset some people. Saw this www.telegraph.co.uk/women/mother-tongue/11554595/Pornography-has-changed-the-landscape-of-adolescence-beyond-all-recognition.html in chat and thought it was something important to discuss, in particular this about teenages and anal Sex - "Moreover, both genders expected males to find pleasure in the act whereas females were mostly expected to “endure the negative aspects such as pain or a damaged reputation”."

Im not surprised by this sadly, as i was anally raped by my boyfriend as a teen over 10 years ago and pornification is only getting worse. What can we do, other thab talk to our kids? Can we do anything on a bigger scale to fix the problem, not just try to help our kids survive the shit storm?

Unsolved mystery - pleased to hear someone else knows it was around in the 80's. For me it was something I knew about but didn't try until the barmaid in my local wine bar broadcast far and wide one Saturday evening how wonderful it was. I think about a dozen people must have scurried home that evening to give it a go. Apart from a slow moving movie about some Swedish girls who went to stay with their uncle and didn't get up to much at all I'd not seen anything pornographic at that time.

Of course it was around in the 80s and long before.

But are teens more likely than in the 80s to encounter it first in porn?

Of course it was around in the 80s! Even, dare I say, earlier! [ grin]

Wasn't there the whole 'saddlebacking' as its termed in US bible areas for teens to 'preserve' their virginity.

It gets back though to 'consent' and this needs to be hammered in much earlier in schools.

You don't have to have personally watched something for it to affect the culture around you, Unsolved.
I agree, but in the 80s, the closest most teens got to porn was the underwear section of the Freemans catalogue. Those who did manage to get a copy of their older brother's Playboy or Fiesta, were few and far between. Porn was never driving the desire for teenagers to have sex and it wasn't influencing the type of sex they were having. But boys were still putting pressure on girls to have sex, to give oral, to do the things that they had in their head.

I am not saying that porn has no influence - it does, but it is not the driving force in the pressure that teens are under to have sex. Hormones drive the desire. Slut/Prude shaming - telling girls what they should and shouldn't be doing, makes it difficult. Along with the pressure on boys to hit the bases. None of that has changed since the instant availability of porn. And really poor communication because adults have so many hangups and morality tied up in sex, that it prevents the conversations from happening that need to happen. Blaming porn does not help. Removing it will not fix the problem.

how did you know that anal sex was a thing people did?
That is a ridiculous question! You are implying that people will only do things in bed, that they have heard about. There were plenty of people raised a few generations back, who weren't told ANYTHING about sex, but still managed to figure it out through experimentation. We had high sex drives, a lot of imagination and we did what felt good - simple as that. We talked about it and it was a positive decision that we would give it a try.

It gets back though to 'consent' and this needs to be hammered in much earlier in schools.
^^Yes absolutely. We need to talk about consent.
We also need to challenge the slut/prude shaming culture that has been around for a lot longer than internet porn.

I was date raped. My parents do not know that to this day. Very, very naive to imagine your teenagers tell you much of anything at all about their sexual experiences, good and bad

So,people who discovered anal sex all by themselves in the context of a loving and respecful relationship, do you think that your experience will bear any similarity to the experience of a couple who have seen it as it is depicted in free porn?

I'm sorry you were raped AF

I can talk to my Mum now, but when I was a teenager, no fucking way, I was really close to my Mum and coukd talk to her about everything but my sexual felling/relationships,she tried chatting to me when I was 16 and had a 17 year old boyfriend, I fobbed her off and told her what she wanted to hear.

I'd rather my daughter had anal sex than got pregnant.

loop surely you mean if your daughter is old enough and knowledgeable enough of the risks of having anal sex and that she does it without coercion or pressure?
I wouldn't want a daughter of mine having anal sex when she doesn't know about the risks of anal prolapse or faecal incontinence if the boy doesn't know what he is doing properly. I wouldn't want a pregnant teenage daughter either but it shouldn't be an either / or choice.

loop, that is an idiotic thing to say

Would you, loop? It's not either/or...

I'd rather my daughter had anal sex than got pregnant.

Really?

For all the reasons Superexcited stated.

I'd rather have a pregnant daughter than one with some of the injuries sustained by young women who have engaged in riskier sexual practices without proper information and knowledge.

Abortions are simple enough, repairing a rectal prolapse isn't.

loop Its not actually a choice between unprotected vaginal sex or anal sex. And if you really want to get into it, if a penis MUST enter an orifice, the mouth is further from the vagina than the anus, so shed be safer giving and recieving oral. Or, y'know, condoms.

Of course your statement is rediculous in the context of girls being forced or coerced into unsafe anal sex, resulting in traumatic and potentially lifelong injuries.

TheBlackRider it does, and im under the impression transmission is more likely due to tearing of the more delicate tissues in that area. I dont know why anyone would suggest that anal is an alternative to prevent pregnancy when condoms are easily obtained for free by teenagers, often from dedicated teen sexual health services that, certainly when i was a teen, had no stigma attached amongst peers.

AF im sorry that you were raped I also never told my parents, they presumably think i didnt have any terrible experiences when in reality i suffered horribly.

AF i remember you saying that on another thread a while ago.. Im so sorry you went through that

Gin

Gin, you are right about STI transmission, including HIV transmission, because viruses go straight into the bloodstream through tears in delicate tissue.

I was thinking along the lines that anal sex is fun whereas pregnancy isn't.