Feminist Pub XVIII, in which the Bluestocking greets the first signs of spring with a glass of something soothing

[PuffinsAreFictitious]

Just starting this one as the last is nearly full

about a year ago there was an international charity worker talking on the radio, and she said that there's a huge amount of evidence that helping women in poorer countries benefits the entire family, whereas helping men benefits the men. so, yes, sponsoring a girl to go to school, or a woman to be a midwife, would be a really good thing to do.

I've heard that before too. I don't know if it's a depressing fact ...

I've read similar in The Times. I think it's a source of optimism that this is now being recognised and some agencies (govt or otherwise) are starting to realise they need to channel resources to women.

I sponsor a girl through Plan. I can't remember whether I've got a specific girl or if I just pay for a girls place at a school. I do know that I pay £15 per month to further a girls education in India and they occasionally send me post. I'm considering sponsoring another one. I also fund loans through Kiva, and only ever fund loans to women, preferably those women who want to study.

We sponsor a girl through Plan too. I specifically asked for an Asian girl, in the hopes that I might save even one from child marriage. We get letters from her family, and her birthday is only a week off DD2's. The DDs love having thing link to a girl who lives so far away, and spend ages writing their letters to her. It turns out that the money doesn't specifically go to her/her family, but rather her community. But having a girl to contact in the community makes it all feel personal, and I hope that Plan is developing that community in a way that means the girls don't get married off. She's definitely getting an education out of it, which is so important.

Well done to your DD, Inicked!!

Just watched Peter Lloyd on This Morning, after seeing a link on my sisters Facebook, he's saying that's it's women's fault that marriage is on the decrease. He gave me the rage so I turned it off.

Dd is excited to receive a letter and has started writing one already, she wanted to help a girl her age but wasn't sure about a specific country so we selected "wherever it's needed most" option, I've literally just set the direct debit up and dd is saying she will be checking the post everyday :)

Well done Inicked's DD. :)

I checked earlier and you can also sponsor a woman through Woman to Woman.

There was an interview with a woman on Keiser Report recently who is head of a mobile phone money transfer system in Kenya. She said micro loans via mobile phone were transforming womens' lives and those of their families, as they're used to buy goats and chickens etc, and they can send their children to school and earn a living. Unfortunately I can't remember her name nor the organisation she worked at, and much as I love Max I'm not going to trawl through 6 months worth of shows. That's about 78 half hour shows.

What I did find interesting is that many of these African women were using digital currencies, well, Bitcoin, because it can be split infinitessimenally, transfer is almost instant, payments can be traced through the Blockchain and it's impossible to forge.

Could it be Give Directly? They come up when I google money transfer charity Kenya.

Google search on "Keiser Report recently who is head of a mobile phone money transfer system in Kenya" comes up with M-Pesa.
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/M-Pesa

M-Pesa rings a bell, especially the bit about the mobile wallet, which is Bitcoin-like. Digital currencies are fascinating.

So a woman in a good position will look after others. A man won't?

I think that's a legit place for a NAMALT, LordC. Reminds me of why child benefit is usually paid to mothers - because some fathers (not all by any means but a sizeable proportion) would spend it on themselves rather than their families. It's a gamble if you fund men, but funding women benefits their entire household.

Yes. NAMALT.

That's what I meant. :)

m-pesa is the company rather than a charity. I am pretty sure m-pesa sends shillings though?

(The link just says "money" or "currency").

Has anyone else seen this yet www.mumsnet.com/Talk/guest_posts/2360689-Guest-post-Internet-giants-are-exploiting-our-kids-and-we-need-to-take-a-stand ? It's about the social issues around modern digital equipments and habits to do with kids and concludes with a bill of iRights for the modern age. These kind of issues come up on the feminist boards regularly and I thought some more intelligent people here (than me) might be interested.

I skimmed it last night gibbering and have added to my reading list for later, I felt sad at the thought of girls being held to sexual ransom just to get their phones back. Dd has asked for a phone, dh wants to get her one but I'm not so sure, and some of the issues in that article do play on my mind, she's smart with online safety and has internet access via her ipad and PC, but for some reason a phone feels different and I can't explain why, maybe it's because a phone, and the personal info on it, is easier to lose.

Just popping in to chat about this here as I don't want to start a thread about it but I recently shaved my head (I've always had short hair but wanted to get back to my natural colour and just thought fuck it) and I'm finding the comments I'm getting from folk interesting and am quite aware that these are probably not things that are said to men when they shave their heads often or perhaps even ever?
Most popular is something about how lucky I am I've got the 'right shape of head' for it, this seems really really important for people this head shape thing.
Then there's 'you get away with it because you're pretty/have the right kind of features/etc I could never have short hair Id look awful' etc
My favourite is 'you're so brave' every time someone says this I want to say back in an Alan Partrudge voice 'so ruddy, ruddy brave'
No ones really criticised it but it does seem to shock people in a way that a mans shaved head doesn't/wouldn't.
But anyway, I wondered what other women here made of all this? I understand people are trying to be nice and to find something to say, it seems to be genuinely shocking for people and I'm left thinking about what a massive part of the performance of femininity hair is and how important it has been for people to say something that seems to convey that they still somehow 'approve' of my appearance despite my transgressive(?!) hair.

I also feel weirdly apologetic about it at times like I need to somehow alleviate the discomfort people are feeling!

Someone I once knew a few years ago shaved her head, she previously had really long hair and I didn't know what to say when I saw her, I didn't want to stare, but because it was such a big change it took some getting used to, I also didn't want to not say anything in case she thought I felt awkward, which sounds silly now I read back, I remember saying something like "it really suits you" (which it did), I didn't want to not say anything in case I offended her. I hope that made sense.

She laughed most comments off, and she got a lot, but it pissed her off when a couple of people assumed she was ill, or had shaved her head in support of someone else being Ill, and then told her how brave she was when she said she fancied a change.

I hope this comes out right and if not I'm sorry, but I was just wondering, in general do females place more importance or notice hair more than a male would? what I mean is I could get an of inch chopped off my hair tomorrow and my Dh and brother probably wouldn't notice and therefor wouldn't comment, but my mum would, and she would comment.

I'll hopefully make more sense in the morning when my medication has worn off.

I think my biggest issue with head shaving is there's no good time of year for it. Winter is too cold (I grow my hair in the winter to help keep my neck warm!) and summer is a horrible risk of sunburn.. I totally see the appeal though, and I imagine a bit of scalp airing (sunburn aside) is probably quite good for it!

I came here to post this www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-32417296 - apparently it's a bumper year for nuns and has been back on the rise for a bit. I find it interesting. I'm having trouble articulating why, but it feels like a similar thing to my inkling that should anything ever go wrong with my partner and me, that I wouldn't bother living with another man, but would happily move in with another single mother.

That does make sense inickedaname, I get why people, particularly women feel obliged to comment on hair it's culturally conditioned isn't it that it's nice to notice what other women have done with their appearance. I think it's the vibe that people are reassuring ME that I'm still acceptable that feels a bit weird. Obviously I think it's acceptable or I wouldn't have done it, it just seems to be a very different conversation than men ever have about hair, perhaps I'm wrong? I don't know, it's strange. I find it a bit depressing that there is still such a convention of woman = long hair or hair style and opting out by just getting rid is really remarkable.

I don't think you're wrong, culturally conditioned explains much better what I was trying to ask, compliments and comments have always made me feel awkward, and I think it might be for the same reasons as you now I think about, so I'll go to the hairdressers, pay a small fortune, then when I go home I'll try and make it look like it did before, so as it's not noticeable.

Dh shaves his head, he intends to do it regulary but in truth, he only bothers once it gets uncomfortable and makes him sweaty under his hard hat, so there's usually a lot of growth, and when I asked him this morning he said he can't remember ever having a comment on it, which wouldn't happen if I did the same, I'd get lots of comments, he did say though that dd always rubs his head when she walks past him, which he likes as it's like their own version of a hug.

Has anyone heard from Buffy? I haven't seen her around after her deletions and just wondered if she is ok?