Married names

[OneFlewOverTheDodosNest]

DP & I were talking about marriage last night and the theme of married names came up.

I said we were fortunate because our last names go well together and he said he didn't like double barrelled names because he thinks they're pretentious and besides it's only a name so what does it matter. My response was that if he truly believed that then he could change his name but apparently that goes against tradition and is just being silly and a sign that feminism isn't focusing on important things that matter.

But this is important to me and I decided ages ago that I'd choose to keep my name on marriage. Do you see this as a minor side issue when we should be focusing on better things or is this a matter of principle?

His older brother would take the piss over the name thing but he is a complete twat anyway so I don't exactly hold his opinion in high regard... Unfortunately DP still looks up to him despite acknowledging he's an arrogant prick. I couldn't imagine his friends would care apart from making initial comments though.

The thing is, my name is important to me so I don't want to dismiss his feelings even if they're routed in patriarchy! The issue is that I'd be happy to double barrel as a compromise but he's not keen on that

Ok, so you acknowledge his feelings, that's good.

Has he acknowledged that his opinion is based on feelings rather than his initial stance that it shouldn't matter to you although it clearly matters to him?