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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

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Is male violence against women ever acceptable?

220 replies

LoafersOrLouboutins · 11/11/2014 18:30

I'm not sure how to articulate this and my 'evidence' is purely anecdotal. Just dipping my toes in the feminism board.

I used to be a keen polo player 16 years ago and regularly played with my boyfriend. On the morning of one match we had a fairly serious argument. He seriously injured me (broken nose, fractured cheekbone and two chipped teeth) during the game. I accepted this as polo is a VERY dangerous sport and people seemed to accept it without asking any questions as to why he was SO determined during that particular game. Most people aren't so competitive they would risk this.

With hindsight, I wonder whether violence against women in sport is a way men conduct their violent fantasies?

People would be horrified if I said my boyfriend did this to me during an argument but in the course of sport it was accepted.

This was many years ago and I probably don't make any sense but it has started to play on my mind that he may have used sport as a cover for his desire to hurt me.

OP posts:
PanISAButterfly · 22/11/2014 15:48

just realised after all these years: It was a trap!

BuffytheReasonableFeminist · 22/11/2014 15:51

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scallopsrgreat · 22/11/2014 15:52

How did you feel Pan, about going to rough up some girls? Put them in their place and all?

PanISAButterfly · 22/11/2014 15:52

yes it is, but we were 11 year olds. Still got our asses kicked.

PanISAButterfly · 22/11/2014 15:54

yes, it was an odd idea at the time (and back-fired) but this was well back in the day.

PanISAButterfly · 22/11/2014 15:57

hi scallops hope you are well.

scallopsrgreat · 22/11/2014 16:00

You all appeared willing to do it though Pan?

How is it OK in anyone's sphere to get a bunch of 11 yr old boys to go and "rough up" some 11 yr old girls. That is totally shocking. The message it is sending out to the boys is that they are superior (even if Geraldine got the last say).

Delusional Male supremacy in action.

PanISAButterfly · 22/11/2014 16:11

you may well be reading too much into that scenario.

TheOnlyOliviaMumsnet · 22/11/2014 16:14

[eyebrows]

Sabrinnnnnnnna · 22/11/2014 16:16

Olivia - I think I love you Smile

PanISAButterfly · 22/11/2014 16:18

quite. though I would point to unpleasant personal inferences being drawn.

YonicScrewdriver · 22/11/2014 16:29

Are they attack eyebrows, Olivia?

Pan, I see that it was your teacher's idea but you must see it was a weird one? Would a teacher contemplate getting the catholic boys to toughen up the Jewish boys with a bit of a rough game?

PanISAButterfly · 22/11/2014 16:39

indeed Yonic, which is why I described it as 'odd'. iirc (just to delve into the sporting primary school history I thought was long forgotten..) the netball team were being beaten regularly by the local school teams, and it was thought this was partly due to not being 'competitive' enough and giving space and crowded out easily - that sort of thing. Hence the (failed and odd) idea. It wasn't designed to be malicious - to make the girls more 'assertive', better on their feet and not get pushed around by other girls teams as much. That was the goal attack and goal defence of it really.

Weird posting about 30 mins netball play from a zillion years ago.

scallopsrgreat · 22/11/2014 16:58

I don't think I was reading too much in to the motives of the teachers, given your explanation. They thought the boys could go and 'teach' the girls using physicality. I suspect the opposite would never have even been thought about. Girls teaching boys anything about sport. (Or anything at all tbh!)

Male as default.

BuffytheReasonableFeminist · 22/11/2014 16:58

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BuffytheReasonableFeminist · 22/11/2014 16:58

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PanISAButterfly · 22/11/2014 17:06

You will have to ask the teacher then! A Mrs Gillespie.

Though without being a netball player (apart from an inglorious 30 mins...) I'd have thought there would need to be involved some level of physicality to it? A bit like basket ball? Shielding the ball, willing to shoulder charge, etc? In footie one can be the great twinkle-toes, but if a defender can knock you off stride easily then you won't make the grade.

YonicScrewdriver · 22/11/2014 17:14

Netball is non contact, iirc.

“No player may contact an opponent, either accidentally or deliberately, in such a way that interferes with the play of that opponent or causes contact to occur.”

More specifically, a player cannot:

Move into the path of an opponent who’s committed to a particular landing space
Position so closely to an opponent that the player is unable to move without contacting (this refers to when a player is being double marked, usually a shooter).
Push, trip, hold or lean on an opponent or use other forms of physical contact.
Place a hand or hands on a ball held by an opponent or knock or remove the ball from possession of an opponent
While holding the ball, push it into the hands of an opponent.

Generally, an attacker is moving into a space to receive the ball and a defender is drawn into causing contact when trying to intercept. If the attacker was in that space first, the decision goes their way and against the defender. A defender must be able to intercept the ball cleanly.

However, no contact is allowed off the ball. This includes attackers pushing off, backing into or pushing through a defender to get into space to receive the ball. If the defender was in that space first, then the decision goes their way and against the attacker.

The umpire’s role is to watch the game and determine which player is “causing contact to occur”. It may not always seem obvious to you as a player why a particular decision has been made. The umpire is there to judge whether it’s the attacker or defender who is committed to a particular space on court and therefore which player is causing contact to occur.

The umpire will state:

which player the penalty is against
that a penalty pass has been awarded to the opposition

The umpire should stand at the position at the side of the court where they want the penalty to be taken from. If you’re ever unsure where to take the penalty from, you need to look at the positioning of the umpire for guidance.

Failure to set the penalty correctly in this way will result in a reversal of the penalty and a free pass to the opposing team.

A lot of contact disrupts the flow of the game. It also puts your team at a tactical disadvantage because when a player is taken out of play on a penalty, they are not able to contribute to the team’s defence. It’s far better to pull out of a challenge if you think you’re going to contact the player and concentrate on defending the next pass instead.

YonicScrewdriver · 22/11/2014 17:14

See in particular the last sentence.

BuffytheReasonableFeminist · 22/11/2014 17:15

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YonicScrewdriver · 22/11/2014 17:17

I was a shit hot netball defender because years of ballet enabled me to stretch up on one leg with my hand shielding the ball, leaning one way or the other. and stopping the GA having sight of goal.

Maybe they'd've been better training against ballet dancers than football players?

YonicScrewdriver · 22/11/2014 17:18

An apposite x-post with Buffy!

BuffytheReasonableFeminist · 22/11/2014 17:20

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PanISAButterfly · 22/11/2014 17:20

Wow - neat bit of research, thanks! Been educated in netball.
Having said that, Geraldine didn't need any of that. She was brill.Grin

BuffytheReasonableFeminist · 22/11/2014 17:21

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