Is male violence against women ever acceptable?

[LoafersOrLouboutins]

I'm not sure how to articulate this and my 'evidence' is purely anecdotal. Just dipping my toes in the feminism board.

I used to be a keen polo player 16 years ago and regularly played with my boyfriend. On the morning of one match we had a fairly serious argument. He seriously injured me (broken nose, fractured cheekbone and two chipped teeth) during the game. I accepted this as polo is a VERY dangerous sport and people seemed to accept it without asking any questions as to why he was SO determined during that particular game. Most people aren't so competitive they would risk this.

With hindsight, I wonder whether violence against women in sport is a way men conduct their violent fantasies?

People would be horrified if I said my boyfriend did this to me during an argument but in the course of sport it was accepted.

This was many years ago and I probably don't make any sense but it has started to play on my mind that he may have used sport as a cover for his desire to hurt me.

"You can also have the reverse, with guys hitting other guys who are restraining a woman too (i.e. the woman is always defenseless and so the guy must be after her). Not meaning this is a major issue, just it's the same thought process behind it.

I would guess there is biology/evolution behind it too though - wanting to protect your territory/ "herd". Not that it makes it ok to act on that, but I guess it's not just the cultural impact?"

I'm a bit confused by this, Snow? I the first paragraph, you seem to be referencing Hero and Woman (generic), in the second a specific relationship between the protagonists.

From the "tribe" POV, I would expect one family member to protect another regardless of sex - father protect son, sister protect brother etc.

The first is more "decent man must save damsel in distress from villainous cad" and it doesn't matter about any genetic relationships.

Ahem.

Well to address the OP, I think it is almost certain that he did deliberately hit you on the polo field. Men will do this to each other all the time in sports like football and rugby..

As to whether it is ever morally acceptable - this is a quite a deep question that can only be answered in the wider context of whether violence of any kind is ever acceptable, most people would argue that this is only in very rare and unusual circumstances, none of which apply in your case.

Zazzy, I'm open about being man. The point of view I have, regarding you, is nothing to do with gender. It's about that I think it's wrong to attack and be rude to people. Telling people they can't post here, playing the gatekeeper. In future I will start every post with "As a man...." Just for you.
I don't think it's chivalrous, I think it's the basic way to be (which MNHQ agrees with).

I mentioned suicide in relation to the following thing you wrote:

'I have seen your personality type in many many circumstances, and it never ends well for your type'.

Maybe you could explain that comment a bit more. So it wasn't related to when you suggested someone had a personality disorder . I understand it's difficult to read clearly when you are angry. When I'm angry I misread or I'll write 4 posts in a row or something.

I think it's disingenuous of you not to mention you have a degree in psychology. Oh wait...you have mentioned it four times. Which poly did you go to (joke).
I have studied some psychology. Only a small amount of credits at degree level not a full degree though. Are we both amateur psychologists or is that your profession?
To clarify I'm not negative about woman, as you ask, I'm negative about attacking people. I've been very positive about Twofalls.
The dating thread post don't go anything like that. If you want my history, I mentioned some one very close to me passing away. That was the end of a long term relationship. For past few years I have been getting back in to dating (are you in the London area).
Entitlement is a bad and try not to portray it. Any entitlement men over women, regular poster over non regular poster, etc.
Yes you are right we are off the original topic, but other posters thankfully are not. Some people will avoid questions and attack others to derail. I would guess the attacking part is bigger no no for MNHQ.
I'm not trying to dominate a woman. It's more ironic that in the feminist section a feminist has successfully silenced a feminist by attacking her character.
If you want to put trying to stop rudeness in the same boat as silencing a feminist then hey ho.
I don't believe that I have referred to your gender once by the way (unless you believe that feminists can only be women, I know that there is a mix of opinion on that on here).
I have tried to answer your question aswell as possible. Sorry if the answers aren't in the exact order.

King1892:

I will when the questions stop. You know Zazzles she loves a question.

Sab maybe post it again to zazzles

Oh no King. I won't be doing that. I agree with Zazzles. I find your posts incredibly annoying.

Crumbs Sabrina, you've just aged poor King by 90 years!

But sab what came first? The question or the answer? I don't mind answering if people ask questions.

Sings Let it go, let it gooooooooooooooooooooooo- oh

la la la la la la la

Topic, topic, my kingdom for the topic!

Olivia will be back if we don't behave.

Mark, it always baffles me when, say, Zidane or Suarez aren't charged with the CRIMES they commit on pitch in front of camera! Not the dodgy tackle but assault outside the run of play.

(The head butt and the biting, if that wasn't obvious)

yes I've often wondered about that sort of thing Yonic. Duncan Ferguson spent 2 weeks in Barlinnie Gaol for head-butting an opponent, so I don't where the flip lies between one assault and another being prosecuted.

Of course the greatest miscarriage of justice was when King Eric Cantona was 'jailed' after his entirely understandable kung-fu kick on a nasty in the crowd, which was later appealed to Community Service.

Having said that, watching my sister play hockey on a Sunday morning, and both sets of teams could all have been up in front of the beak each and every Monday.

I think there was a conviction a few years ago for an assault during a rugby match - but I guess I remember it precisely because it was so unusual.

on the women's hockey thing, the observation "you play like a girl" should be interpreted as a threat.

Except you know they are women, Pan!

I do think "you play like a boy" would be intended as offensive ie you are juvenile, not adult in your skills - but I don't think it's said much.

(Oh, just realised it might have been when your sis was at school - if so, ignore first point!)

This was just post-school, about 19 yrs.

I did see some major league ice hockey in Vancouver a few years ago. It was just as lawless as that.

yes when I was on the school footie team we were asked to play the girls at netball in order to get them 'roughed up a bit' to make them more physical and 'competitive'. Oh how wrong they were on that one.