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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

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Original poster

Amal Alamuddin has changed her name professionally

490 replies

EhricLovesTheBhrothers · 14/10/2014 07:12

I'm actually disappointed. Her choice blah blah but honestly. Successful women who change their names professionally always strike me as either stupid or coerced and I'm sure that's unfair I'm not really but honestly why be so committed to the concept of the obliteration of the unmarried self that you allow it to impact on your professional reputation and renown?

OP posts:
PetulaGordino · 14/10/2014 08:06

that looked as though i thought she was an actor; i don't, obviously!

PetulaGordino · 14/10/2014 08:08

likewise laphem i'm sure a married sahm who keeps her own surname is not equally as attached to her husband and children?

Nojacketrequired · 14/10/2014 08:08

I have a friend who changed her surname when she got married and yet uses her original surname still professionally. How does that work, legally? Are there any implications? Can anyone call themselves whatever they like for different roles in life?

Poddling · 14/10/2014 08:11

Laphem, it's not a married identity, it's his identity. I had no discernable career when I got married and am a SAHM now, but it's still important to me that I didn't change my name when I got married. My husband and children still make me very happy, having the same name as them has nothing to do with it.

Laphem · 14/10/2014 08:11

Oh absolutely petula, I am just saying some women chose to reflect that in their name after marriage, as a symbolic thing. And I was responding to the denigration by OP of women who chose their married identity as their primary one.
As I said before, nothing wrong with keeping or changing your name on marriage.

PetulaGordino · 14/10/2014 08:11

i have lots of women colleagues who do that. it can be a little complicated where their passports have a different name (married name usually) to their professional name in terms of business travel, but there are options for that built into our travel and expenses system

when a woman marries her name doesn't automatically change. if she chooses to, she can send off her marriage certificate to whichever bodies she would like to use her married name. the rest will keep her unmarried name if she doesn't want to change it everywhere

my mum uses her married name outside work and her unmarried name professionally - all her professional qualifications are in her unmarried name. she has bank accounts in both names

Poddling · 14/10/2014 08:12

x-posts Petula :)

puds11isNAUGHTYnotNAICE · 14/10/2014 08:12

Ehric did you change your name when you got married?

Maybe she actually wants to be known as Mrs Clooney? Doesn't make her any less intelligent.

I can't believe people are saying they are disappointed by her Hmm FGS! Its people like you OP that give feminism a bad name! Feminism is about equality and the right to choose, not about doing what other women think you should do!

Camolips · 14/10/2014 08:13

Why do so few men want the symbolic gesture?

Laphem · 14/10/2014 08:13

Poddling, that is fine if that is your choice. I see the surname as ours, our identity.

Lottapianos · 14/10/2014 08:15

Indeed Camolips - don't men ever fall out with their families or hate their last names or just fancy a change?

Camolips · 14/10/2014 08:17

To me it's nothing to do with feminism it's more why should my father-in-law's name trump my father's name in a family 'identity'.

Original poster
EhricLovesTheBhrothers · 14/10/2014 08:18

No, I didn't change my name. I firmly don't agree with the practice.

I'm talking about Amal because she's a high profile woman with a successful career. That's why it's so inexplicable to me. Married SAHMs don't have the same consequences to name changing.

You can still use your own name professionally if you choose to. You don't give it up, you never lose the right to use it.

If she really wanted to be known as Mrs clooney then she's valui her identity as a married woman over her identity as a top lawyer. And that's sad.

OP posts:
Northernlurker · 14/10/2014 08:19

' Successful women who change their names professionally always strike me as either stupid or coerced'

Wow that's charming OP!

I changed my name and I can assure you I am neither stupid nor coerced. I think we need to remember that in the majority of cases at present keeping you own name means keeping your father's name. That may change but was certainly the case for me. I had the choice, because dh certainly wasn't bothered, between my father's name which I had never liked or a married name which is pretty classy Grin. I simply LIKE it better. I married very young so I will shortly have spent more time with this name than my original name. I have grown up with this name. In terms of work and life as a parent this name is who I am. Were I marrying again I suspect I would still keep this name because it's actually MINE not dh's.

Taking a married name in 2014 is not about labelling yourself as a possession. It's about considering who you are as a couple and as a family. Amal has made her decision and I think we should respect her sense of self enough to know it will not be limited by what she calls herself. It's really offensive to assume otherwise.

Original poster
EhricLovesTheBhrothers · 14/10/2014 08:19

Feminism is about equality and the right to choose

The right to choose to be unequal?

OP posts:
BrendaBlackhead · 14/10/2014 08:20

Her surname isn't that great - names with "mu" in them always have a glum sound. Clooney ain't that good either, but it's slightly better.

But the point here is not that she's married Joe Bloggs - she's married flippin' George Clooney! That name opens a lot of (boutique) doors.

Lottapianos · 14/10/2014 08:21

Completely agree Ehric. It is sad that she wants to be known as Mrs Clooney rather than use her own name.

nameequality · 14/10/2014 08:22

How disappointing!

Yes I think it is a feminist issue as a lot of society expect women to change their name.

In 1855 Lucy Stone became the first US woman to not change her name on marriage.

[[http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lucy_Stone_League ]]

Yes I respect that women make this choice but I would LOVE for it to be totally normal for women to not change their name.

Surf25 · 14/10/2014 08:24

So your conclusion is that she and all other successful professional women who change their name to their husband's are either stupid or coerced? Hmm

PetulaGordino · 14/10/2014 08:25

i think boutiques would know perfectly well who she was without using clooney. it's not like the marriage hasn't been well-publicised

Surf25 · 14/10/2014 08:26

And how do you know anything about her values? Rather seems like you are projecting your own values onto her life. YABU

Northernlurker · 14/10/2014 08:27

If she had chosen to keep her name then nobody in her professional circle would have been remotely surprised - so she did have a choice and she's made it. For feminism to be successful we have to accept that a broad church of women will make a broad church of decisions. The news about her name came out at the same time as she was filmed making a high profile business trip. Do you REALLY think her identity is being subsumed by her marriage? Because I don't. The stories about the relationship all mention her physical appearance but they also all mention her profession and her intelligence. In fact I suspect more column inches have been devoted to what she is currently doing professionally than what George is doing.

uptheauntie · 14/10/2014 08:30

yes, she is clearly stupid. Clearly. I'm sure she won't have thought this out at all. Angry

nameequality · 14/10/2014 08:33

I will admit that I was 'coerced' by the culture around me.

I married at 25 and I didn't personally know anyone who hadn't changed their name - including friends of my parents etc. To keep one's name wasn't the 'done thing'!

ItsNotEasyBeingGreen · 14/10/2014 08:35

Feminism is about equality and the right to choose...The right to choose to be unequal?

I disagree. I did not choose to become unequal, I'm not unequal to my DH because I've started to use his surname. He really couldn't have cared less. I wanted to.

You're forgetting, my name was given to me at birth by my father. I've merely swapped one man's surname for another man's surname. That does not make me unequal. A lesser being even. It's a name. I choose to use a name but I choose to define myself by what I have achieved and done with my life.

I know there's no arguing with you. But please don't assume your opinion is the only opinion, and please don't disrespect women who have made the choice to take their husband's surname.