Amal Alamuddin has changed her name professionally

[EhricLovesTheBhrothers]

I'm actually disappointed. Her choice blah blah but honestly. Successful women who change their names professionally always strike me as either stupid or coerced and I'm sure that's unfair I'm not really but honestly why be so committed to the concept of the obliteration of the unmarried self that you allow it to impact on your professional reputation and renown?

i do harbour a small hope that george might take her name too, and they could have been the alamuddin clooneys

Nojacket, I double-barrelled when I got married (both names are quite short anyway) but kept my maiden name for academic stuff as my PhD is in my maiden name as are my academic publications. I'm not working in academia just now (through choice) and use my double barrelled name from day to day. It never seems to cause any problems.

I have now changed my name by deed poll to Firstname MySurname DHSurname and I use the two surnames without a hyphen.

I did this because I wanted to but partly as a feminist statement.

we are socialised to believe that this is normal, for women to change their names on marriage but not men. i tend to assume that these days most women are making the choice that works for them at the time (and they can always change back to unmarried name in future if they like). but it is a socially constructed thing, and i think it's legitimate to question that

We all have different reasons for changing our name. A friend of mine could not wait to change her name on marriage because she had a toxic relationship with her parents, but, obviously, a great relationship with her husband.

I was a bit skeptical as she had built up a major profile in her field, but she said that it was like breaking free from decades of crap, and she felt lucky that she had the choice.

Would you rather she kept her father's name, even though her relationship with him had broken, rather than choosing to share her new DH's?

Maybe she just prefers the simplicity of Clooney? It might not even be any more than that. I chose to take my dhs name mainly because I just thought his name was more interesting - his is foreign sounding and I like it. I don't think it makes me any less of a feminist because I chose to change my name. It's the fact I can choose and I made my own choice that makes me a feminist, not the name I have.

I don't quite understand what consequence you think will happen. Any consequences happened as soon as they got engaged and she became a household name.

Everyone knows who she is.

Everyone knows who her husband is.

Changing her name won't change that. And I don't see why anyone should think she should become some kind of poster girl for some people's idea of feminism. That's on a par with people saying that Kate Middleton absolutely should breastfeed. It's no-one else's business.

(For what it's worth I know plenty of women in my industry who haven't changed their name on marriage. And plenty who have. They are the same intelligent women before as after, whichever choice they made.)

Do you wear a wedding ring OP?
To me that's as much a symbol of a combined life and commitment as sharing a name is (and like a name, I like it, it's become part of me) but I wonder if you see that also as a symbol of my stupidity and coercion?

Green, then you took your FIL's name and gave up your father's name, right?

Northern

Out of interest, does your DH also wear a ring?

but presumably not all women who change their names are doing so because they are marrying men whose names are more interesting, or easier to spell/pronounce, or more anonymous, or more distinguished, or because they are from an abusive family background and want to break away from that association?

and there are men who may have the same family backgrounds, or be marrying women whose names have the attributes above too, but they aren't choosing to change their names?

Yonic - yes he does. He bought mine, I bought his.

Agree with op. I'm disappointed.

So that's a different decision, Northern, because both of you have done the same.

I don't think you are stupid, by the way, not at all. It is true that name change on marriage is very skewed towards women changing and men not and that is an unequal situation.

Maybe Alamuddin was a bugger to spell and everyone always asked not at all why I changed my name

Yonic, yes it is a unequal situation that more women change their name than men. It is interesting to speculate why, maybe because it is still an unusual thing to do and people as a whole tend not to do socially unusual things, maybe men as less likely to associate their name emotionally with poor family relationships, and maybe because as a society it is still perceived as less acceptable for men to do things associated with women than vice versa. The latter is a clearly feminist issue and needs to be addressed. But attacking women who change their name will not achieve this and is classic misdirection. All that achieves is to piss women off as the reasons for attacking them don't resonate with why they made their choice. This potentially alienates them from feminism.

Actually I'm separated but no, I haven't worn a wedding ring during most of my marriage. However, if both spouses wear one then it's not at all problematic from a feminist perspective imo.

I hate this 'swapping one man's name for another' argument. It's bull shit. Your name is yours, not your father's. To say otherwise totally denies women an identity if their own.
And I'm sorry but by changing your name you make yourself unequal by definition, since your husband doesn't.

And I'm not responsible for attracting people to feminism or alienating them so I don't really care if my views annoy you!

Well, I disagree with the OP that women who change their names are stupid or coerced.

But not all choices women make are feminist choices. I depilate, I acknowledge it's not a feminist choice.

Disappointed too. Her of all people.

Farmyard, Amal is an international lawyer, right? I imagine in some languages Clooney (Clueknee? Clus-né?) also needs spelling out..

i think it's ok to challenge women on their individual choices that may or may not have been made with outside influence. not in a "you're a shit feminist" or "you're a shit woman" way, obviously, but none of us makes choices in a vacuum, and despite the relative privilege and freedom of educated white women in the western world even they are subject to socialisation and pressure from outside forces

i'm not talking about grilling women who don't want to engage in conversations about their lives and the paths they have taken, but there isn't anything wrong with exploring the reasons behind why an individual woman might have made a decision that is not a feminist one if she wants to engage on that (note i am talking about non-feminist decisions, not anti-feminist decisions). because it is those "individual choices" that add up to an unequal picture overall.

I have to disagree with your surname being your 'fathers' name - if you've lived with a name your whole life it's your name.

This is what can piss me off about the feminism section. People who think that they know feminism better than everyone else and so it's okay to call another woman stupid, not feminist enough and question her choices.

I don't give a crap what anyone else does as long as it is their choice and they realise they have a choice. I would rather spend my energies on teaching dd this. And again, I say this as someone who didn't change their name.

I did add a third option - values identity as a married woman over identity as a professional. I also think that's pretty stupid but it doesn't make the individual unintelligent.
Getting married and changing your name is absolutely seen as a status symbol by many women. I think it's incredibly sad if all the status she has built up as a very well respected lawyer is less important to her than her status as married. But hey, maybe Im projecting don't think I am