Feminist pub no 12: The Bluestocking Returns, this time with goats!

[YonicScrewdriver]

Welcome!

Thanks for the welcome all :)

I have virtually always worked in female-dominated offices and it has always been really positive and supportive. One, however, was massively changed by the appointment-in-quick-succession of four white male senior managers. They were utterly incompetent, and it really opened my eyes to how much you can get away with as a white middle aged man.

Buffy, that makes me think of a senior manager I once had who was amazingly good and in her late twenties. She was constantly having to justify herself and her experience in a way I bet men (of any age) never do

(i now have the ramones stuck in my head)

stuck in mine Petula. :o

Was taking a break and did one of those facebook "guess your job" test thing and it got my job right. A bit freaked out now ...

Just got an email about a local pregnancy and baby fair.

Don't forget your pennies (maybe bring your mum or partner with you to treat you on the day!) they'll be oodles of beautiful items on sale.

have no intention of going but if I were... wouldn't my partner be going anyway? Not to buy me treats but because he's the dad?

And why just my mum? Why not my dad? Am I being petty.. or is it just a bit urgh

I barked at somebody the other day for suggesting that DH should buy me a treat. Why does it wind me up so?

It's baby stuff. The idea that a babygro or a bouncer or a whatever (or indeed, clothes that will fit over the enormous bump) is somehow a 'treat' for the mother gets my goat. It's stuff for the baby. If it is a treat, it's for both parents. But really it's not a 'treat' at all is it. It is more or less luxurious stuff for a new person. Don't mind the mum stuff so much (after all, how many dads show interest in a pregnancy. In a way, at least it isn't pretending that they do), but partner? Please!

In that vein, my older two sigh at me when they squash their brother and I say "He is a..." and they wearily add "a person". "And he deserves..." "a bit of respect and personal space." Who knew a three and five year old could roll their eyes so well?

I did one of those Facebook things earlier, and it turns out that I am, in fact, Athena. I was even invited to visit my city by my lovely Greek friend who lives there.

Oh, and the concept of DH buying me a treat? Fuck off! I work, anything we buy is jointly paid for, and 'something for the house' isn't a bloody treat.

Unless it's a piano.

i've never met a prospective grandfather who was interested in his daughter's (or dc's partner's) pregnancy. not one, ever. well, except a few, but they were probably weirdos

bleurgh indeed. my cousin recently posted a picture thanking her husband for her new kitchen. my brain nearly exploded at the multitude of horror in so few words

Baby stuff is not a treat exactly. Also the word treat just irritates me. It's an irritating word. I take the kids out for a treat if they've been very good, you know?

sheena yikes. I'm on a FB group with like 20,000 members for trading slings and the amount of women who are selling because "dh has told them off for buying another one" I could scream.

Well dh can bloody well carry the fucker.

ps ds is wearing a tiny ramones today and he is he well cute in it

*t-shirt

And missed off half of my post. Should say:

Oh and the other posts are "dh is treating me to a new sling what have you got on offer" types.

Puffin My piano is mine. Mine, you hear? Not a treat or for the house or for anyone else. It's mine. Sometimes I let the kids play. But it's mine.

Ferret Perhaps it's the whiff of the idea of having been "good" that really winds me up.

sheena did he build it with his bare hands? (ignoring the "her" part)

My nieces had the same eye roll when dd2 was little. They were 5 and 3 at the time and our phrase was "she is her own person, and she can choose what she wants to play". We still have that conversation now they are 8 and 6 and dd2 is 4. Dd1 never needed reminding but she was 10 when dd2 was born.

Copper When I get my piano and I will, mark my words it won't be a treat it will be my retreat There's people up here giving them away. Hopefully one will gives theirs away to me!

can i just have a boast? well, not a boast because it doesn't really reflect on me exactly, but just something that made me quite hopeful?

a few days ago i sent that chore wars link (where you put in who does what in terms of hours and calculates who does the most) to dp via email. i hadn't completed it myself, i just thought it was interesting, and i thought that we had a reasonably equal split anyway though i do most of the planning in terms of jobs and tend to know what needs doing

that evening dp said "i did that chore wars thing. you do about 3 times as much as i do in terms of hours. the sheets need changing this weekend don't they?"

i know he was asking me what needed doing which isn't ideal. and i know it was only a single chore. and we don't have children yet so that whole side of things is yet to be evaluated. but it was a positive response i think

FOF I have a similar reaction to the phrase "spoil yourself". Nngh.

Misread save your pennies as save your penises though. Which was

"spoil yourself"

I hate it, it beings to mine overpriced bath soap..and the "luxury" of being allowed to have a fucking bath or a bit of chocolate. It's never anything good, like a car.

It makes see red when women say they like a partner "to spoil them" though or "treat them like a princess" while we're at it.

I just really can't imagine it being said to a man. "Go on, go to the footie, spoil yourself" or whatever.