Feminist pub no 12: The Bluestocking Returns, this time with goats!

[YonicScrewdriver]

Welcome!

It's like "woman having time to do something she enjoys = spoiling herself" "man having time to do something he enjoys = have fun, dude"

and yet i suspect that woman "spoiling herself" rarely means "woman making herself unavailable to children and husband for a period of leisure time"

for a man, being unavailable for leisure isn't "spoiling himself" either. it is Hobby That Is Vital For His Wellbeing

I spoil myself by banging on my piano fortissimo. It might spoil other people's eardrums, but hey ho.

i only have an electric piano. (no space for a real one). i can make it very loud with headphones on

my neighbour plays the french horn. i encourage her to play it loudly because she was embarrassed when she found out i could hear through the walls

I spoil myself by listening to very LOUD opera.

I suspect that, living where we do, my neighbours think I am a serial killer

In defense of grandfathers (well, some grandfathers), DH was very interested in DD's pregnancy. He is not a weirdo, just a very nurturing and helpful guy, and a better parent than I am.

sorry scone, i was being sarcastic

that obviously wasn't clear

I spoil myself my doing what I feel like doing when I probably should be doing something else (dereliction of duty). This mostly involves failing to get up when the alarm goes off.

DH knows better than to "treat" me to anything or "spoil" me "like a princess" though. He might not live to tell the tale... He just gives me presents occasionally and brings me coffee in bed.

There is a whole load of marketing centred around the concept of treating. It's just a way to make gullible people buy stuff they don't need. I think it's a particularly dangerous word when associated with food (but that is probably a whole other thread).

i totally agree oubliette. i could fill that thread

I spoil myself by going out for dinner (if I'm feeling generous I take DH with me and pay for a babysitter )

We need a sarcastic emoticon.

I hate the word "spoiled" in connection with people anyway, especially adult women.

Ooh a sarcastic emoticon is a good idea!

i should ahve just put afterwards, which would ahve cleared it up

Speaking of babies, I have been saving this to post the next time the subject of little ones came up. It's an oldie but goodie from the American comic strip Doonesbury.

(!) is used on subtitles for sarcasm.

Yy oubliette, the idea of food as a treat is very dangerous. And it's everywhere.

especially when that "treat" is "guilt-free", i.e. maximum volume for minimum calories and/or nutrition

A thread about that would be interesting, Oubliette.

Hmmm - chat? (Or do I risk AIBU)?

Chat. AIBU can be scary.

Ooo Puffins Do you know about opera? I'm going to my first opera next month. Marriage of Figaro. Am a bit worried that I'll be completely uncomprehending.

Aah, child-free leisure time! That is my idea of a massive treat atm, and I'm getting some on Saturday!

I don't see anything wrong with"treating" someone to something - the idea of enabling them to have something (whether actually a thing or some time) that they wouldn't take for themselves - but I agree that the whole cultural baggage associated with big man treating grateful subordinate woman is pretty revolting.

I overheard part of a what sounded like a completely obnoxious conversation between two colleagues at work - woman had new ring or bracelet or something, and man was asking if she was grateful to her husband for it, as he was wondering, if it, as a man, it was worth getting his wife something like that. Wtf?? I really hope I got the wrong end of the stick, but I don't think so.

Ewwww NUP

There was a good fred a while ago where the OP was something like 'dh just offered to run me a bath. how did I get conned into thinking having a bath is a fucking treat'. Quite a few light bulbs went on