Annie - I wish I had doubled up my name.
I kept my maiden name as a second middle name, but ended up being a Mrs W* like my MIL, who over subsequent years showed her true colors. Well both my ILs did. Toxic people. Toxic parents to my DH, toxic grandparents to my DCs.
If I knew then, when I know now, I would never have changed OR would have doubled up (like I said before).
That way, I could have simply stopped using the double name, and just use "my" part of it.
Anyway, it has taken 9 years to see sense, but I'm now back to F*** as my surname. We all are. DH's idea. He said by changing our family name, we can be completely "free" from them.
We went NC with DH's parents at the start of the year - best decision ever - and petitioned a court here in Pennsylvania to change our family name to my maiden name. It took four months to get a decision (had to do background checks on us, which took longer of course, as all our "history" is back in the UK) but a judge agreed it last Friday, and on Tuesday we placed notice in two local newspapers, as required by law. So it's now official, we are the F*** family, and I have my lovely French surname back properly (and not just as a middle name).
When we got married, it felt right for me to change to DH's name, somehow the tradition rubbed off on me and it felt like it was the "proper" thing to do. The last few months have changed how I feel about that now. If/when my three daughters marry, I will respect whatever they decide, but I would gently encourage them to either (a) double up or (b) stick to their name.
NB: We've already got all our new paperwork and cards from the bank, so I need to start getting used to signing my name as Tess F again!