What surname do your children have?

[AmberTheCat]

Following on from the 'Changing my name' thread, I'm interested in what surnames those of us who have children have chosen to give them, and why?

My children have my dp's surname. We're not married, and I felt that people would be more likely to assume that they were my children, and question whether they were his, if they had my name. Not a particularly feminist argument, but one that felt important to me (dp didn't really mind either way).

Wasn't responding directly to you hecate
Haha was fideliney post

I was talking about your post above my first one. I thought it was funny that you said that and then I came along and basically proved the cliche!

The DCs have my surname. DH took my name too.

I feel really lucky that DH was willing / happy to do this. Was desperate for us all to have same name (after had DCs, did not care before!) and my old feminist hangups meant was less than happy about the prospect of changing my name.

It's a mn observation,woman reports her name dull but hey guess what male name is fantastic
I've never read it the other way.man thinks he's got dull name, opt fir female name

I'm not married, pregnant with #1 but they will have OH surname.
Few reasons, I don't feel any affliation with my surname, it's just a name to me, love my mom and my late father, but don't need a name to convey that love and family unit.
My OH comes from a very blended family, parents both remarried, and he kept dad's name, but is no less his moms. I just feel like if the worse happened and we separated, my child is never going to stop being mine because I carried them, equally for my OH the surname is something that he will always have with child.
When we marry I won't take on his name anyway because it rhymes with my first name haha

One child who has my husband's surname and my surname as a middle name. I kept my surname when we married. Thought about hyphenating but seems OTT and posh to me (just my opinion!) and also our surnames don't hyphenate or go together too well. Also thought hyphenating would cause issues for children when they're older and marrying, especially if they marry a double-barreller too... Spanish names are sooooo long but obviously the norm in Spanish-speaking countries but you'd end up with similar here which wouldn't be so good I don't think.

It's interesting that quite a few people have said things along the lines of 'we're not married so why would I give the kids his name?'. I can completely understand that if the father isn't particularly involved with the child (or if you suspect he won't be), but in a committed partnership I can't see why being married or not makes a difference to the decision - there are still two parents with two different surnames to choose between or combine, aren't there?

I really like the Icelandic (I think?) approach of firstname mother'snamedottir or firstname father'snameson.

I have a friend whose surname rhymes in a comedy manner with her husband's (only the first letter is different). Her children have their dad's name, and she spends her life explaining to people that no, she hasn't mis-spelled her own name, it really does have start with that letter...

I think it curious this need to reassure strangers your kids are his kids
And this is achieved by all children having the male name
it's inferred it's bad that people think or question the parentage...why?

Perhaps it's, consciously or unconsciously, a desire to help the father feel more involved, and so more likely to stick around? A bit like people commenting that babies look like their father - isn't that supposed to be for the same reason?

Sounds like Spain is far more feminist in their naming than we are
hardly though - the female name just takes a generation longer to disappear (as I understand it)

I thnk you're off a tangent.its actually a nod to prejudice,you don't want folk thinking they're not his,or different kids,by different kids

scottishmummy it does seem on MN at least, only women have difficult/clumsy/hard to spell or say names they can't wait to shed.

For me scottishmommy it's about dad feeling as if he can be involved in child's life, in the way that we are as moms. We had to carry and protect baby for 9months, straight off the bat, that's more than the dad can do. So it's an important acknowledgement that they are just as important.

Indeed mn is awash with women who think it's only a name
And can't wait to get shot of their funny,clunky,tiresome name for a shiny new mans name

Let's be clear,we didn't carry a baby,we dint have piles or pre-eclampsia.i did
There is no we in being pregnant

I think you misunderstood me, I meant we as in moms carry their children. I hate the collective "we're pregnant" no, I am!

DD has both our surnames, DPs is 10 letters long and 4 syllables, mine is 6 letters and 2 syllables. No hyphen because we didn't want one, DD can choose to use both, either or change her name to Smith if she wants when she gets to 18. It's her choice then but I feel we have given her the option and that she can make a considered choice if she wishes.

I never considered anything other than my children having my name.

Mine have my DP's surname for similar reasons to OP's. But both DD and DS have my surname as their middle name. I know it probably won't get used very often, but it's there and will continue my family name in a way.

There is no we in carry and protect for 9moths he didn't carry

totally agree sm - that is why my children have my name first and his name second (which as I said has since dropped off due to his lack of interest/input) -

My ds has myname dp'sname, when we get married in a couple of months me and dp will also have myname dp'sname.

The reason we chose to do that was because dp's name is very Swedish, we live in Sweden and there is quite alot of predudice around people with a "forrin" name, ds's name clearly shows he is Swedish but I also felt it was important for ds to have an English last name (along side the Swedish one) as ds is half English, he has a Swedish first name and I wanted him to have a little bit of Englishness in his name.

I found it useful for ds to have my name when I have traveled alone with him, if he had only dp's name we would have different names and different nationalities, it may have caused a faff at passort control.

I really like my last name, it isn't especially interesting but it is quite unusual and very English sounding, I also love dp's last name, it means swan mountain which I think is quite poetic.

Double names are very rare in Sweden, they are officially not allowed but they tend to let immigrants have double names as otherwise it can be classed as cultural discrimination, it causes some confusion, we were in A+E yesterday and when they called his name they seemed a little confused, but I'm sure it won't be a huge hinderance in life, ds can always choose to send job applications with just his Swedish names if he feels it will be an advantage when he is older.

When I married I double -barrelled, as I didn't think my now Ex's Surname went well with my Christian name.
When my children came along I gave them my Surname as a middle name.
So when I split with my husband, I just went back to my Surname.
The children still had my Surname and their Dads.

My dcs have dps name, we were/are engaged so assumed we would be married and all have dps name.

My whole way of thinking has changed since then, now I don't think marriage is for me I'm quite happy to stay partners but I do wear my engagement ring as a symbol of us, if we did ever marry I certainly would not change my name, so dcs have a different name to me. Could not hyphenate as our names sound terrible together.

We all have the same name, DHs surname - we are the X family, no need for other name confusion, maybe because I was happy to leave my past behind?