What surname do your children have?

[AmberTheCat]

Following on from the 'Changing my name' thread, I'm interested in what surnames those of us who have children have chosen to give them, and why?

My children have my dp's surname. We're not married, and I felt that people would be more likely to assume that they were my children, and question whether they were his, if they had my name. Not a particularly feminist argument, but one that felt important to me (dp didn't really mind either way).

I changed my name on marriage so that both DH and I could share a name with future children. Plus I was young and pre-mn the more feminist ways of achieving this didn't occur to me. If I was doing it all now I would consider keeping my name and double barrelled names for the kids.

We are married. I have kept my name and the kids are hyphenated. Works well for us.

We're married, I kept my name. We couldn't double barrell as it was a stupid STUPID name to give kids, and we may as well have tattooed bully me across their heads.

We live in Denmark, DH is Danish, I'm British (although now the Danish law has changed I'm going to apply for dual citizenship ) and I thought that as the DC would be more Danish than British, their name should reflect that. I think that the surname carries more weight in that respect.

Also Danish society is sadly incredible xenophobic and racist, so DCs would have a better chance in life with an English first name, and Danish surname. And I don't like any Danish first names so thought it would be a good comprimise!

We aren't married.
DC will be firstname myname-hisname.

As I have said before both on here and in real life, it's fascinating how there is the special category of "women's last names" that are difficult to spell, awkward,ugly........but only whe women have them. They are fine for their brothers- somehow the maleness cancels out the unfortunate nature of the name...........

My son has mine. His father was a tosser during (and after) my pregnancy so I didn't see why I should give ds his surname.

I wasn't married either time and they have their fathers names. I didn't feel strongly about it at the time- and still don't really. On marriage I kept my name so we have three surnames in the house, it's no problem.

They have dh's it wasn't something I felt particularly strongly about at the time and both ds's got their first names chosen by me which was important to me.

DCs are hyphenated. First half of DHs double barrel and then my name. Sounds nicest that way. And thrilled my 90 year old granny that she had great grandchildren with her name.

DH has since decided to change his name to match the DCs so will be including my name in his, which is lovely.

DC have DP's name, but my nationality.

DP's. I changed mine on marriage specifically because I wanted to have the same name as dcs and I wanted them to have his. I thought it would give them a better sense of belonging with their ethnic community as their dad is BME. I think it has, particularly for 1 dc who is very 'white' looking but doesn't identify as white.

I don't particularly like my old name and probably would've taken the opportunity to change it anyway but my new name is no great shakes either.

We weren't married when the DC were born. It was important to me to give them my surname. I'm glad I did.

I changed my name when I married my husband so our son has that surname.

My maiden name was really common (as in popular think top 5 in the country) and I hated it growing up so was quite happy to be rid of it. It also would have sounded stupid if double-barrelled. My final reason was that my mum didn't change her name when she married my dad and I really didn't like the fact that we had different names and people would ask if she was my mum or just my dads partner. I wouldn't want my children to experience the same (either not sharing a name with me or my husband).

Each to their own but that was my logic anyway.

I was pregnant when we got married and I blame pregnancy hormones for my decision to change my surname to DH's and give all subsequent DCs his surname too.

I'm now regretting this so have been reading the responses with interest. DH backs idea of adding my surname to theirs and changing my surname back to original.

Only problem is, it doesn't sound right to put our surnames together and makes it a mouthful for them to be saddled with (mine is 4 syllables long, DH's - our current surname - is 2 - that would mean DCs going from a 2 syllable surname to a 6 syllable one!

Any thoughts anyone?

DH's, with mine as a middle name. They would have sounded unspeakably dreadful double-barrelled (mine is short and British, DH's is long, rather elegant and clearly not British - think Sakashvili-Jones and you get an idea of the general horror).

DH is primary carer and much more likely to be taking DS to the doctor / picking up from school/ travelling alone with him than I am, so we decided it was just administratively easier for DS to have his name (also mine got me beaten up in the playground at primary school so I wasn't that keen to make DS repeat my experience).

Mine have my husbands.. my "maiden" name was 11 letters and his is 9. No double barrel going on there. I'm not really bothered about it, I follow my grandmothers in my genealogy anyways haha! Although I do dream of having my OG name back as it was German and sounded shouty and I like that.

Dd has mine and dp hyphenated.

His name - my name

We're not married and don't intend to be.

Both names,his and mine

This is a really interesting thread! I can honestly say that, with the exception of one couple, I know of no-one in RL who has opted to give their DCs their mother's surname alone (supposing both parents are living together and still very much a couple at the time of the baby's birth). The person I know who did do this was actually my sister - as she said that she didn't want her DC to have a different name to her.

Nor do I know any married couples who have hyphenated their DCs surnames whilst each keeping their own name.

I do know unmarried couples who have hyphenated their surnames to make a double barrelled name for their DC and I know one couple where the husband changed his name to his wife's.

Actually, the only really good solution I have seen to this problem is to marry someone who already has the same surname to you - I know at least 3 couples where this was the case. A little limiting on potential partners, though

This actually happened 3 times in my DM's family . They were Jones' in Wales. I am still trying to make headway on our family tree research for that particular branch of the family - needle in a haystack to say the least!

As I have said before both on here and in real life, it's fascinating how there is the special category of "women's last names" that are difficult to spell, awkward,ugly........but only whe women have them. They are fine for their brothers- somehow the maleness cancels out the unfortunate nature of the name...........
Maybe this is to with women being targeted more by bullies? I don't remember my brother getting any of the shit I did over our surname.

My name. He is welcome to change his so we all have the same.

I do like the Scandinavian approach - so Jane and Fred have children, their DD is Mary Janedaughter and their DS is Joe Fredson. I think I have that right. Anyway - it makes sense and has a nice fairness about it.

I'm Bemused by the wanted family name what they mean is his name!to define as unit