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Original poster

What surname do your children have?

214 replies

AmberTheCat · 04/07/2014 10:08

Following on from the 'Changing my name' thread, I'm interested in what surnames those of us who have children have chosen to give them, and why?

My children have my dp's surname. We're not married, and I felt that people would be more likely to assume that they were my children, and question whether they were his, if they had my name. Not a particularly feminist argument, but one that felt important to me (dp didn't really mind either way).

OP posts:
elQuintoConyo · 04/07/2014 22:08

I hate my surname and had years of horrible nicknames, bullying, taunting, miss-spelling and shit pronunciation. I couldn't wait to get married and change my name.

Then I met DH. His surname is hilarious. So I have stuck with my own Grin

We are in Spain, so DS has two surnames:

Firstname
+
DH hilarious surname (it's German and no, it isn't Hitler!)
+
My surname (Irish).

We blend right in with the locals Grin

sandgrown · 04/07/2014 22:08

DP' s name cos I see so many stupid double barelled names and because I still use my previous married name (same as my other children)- so could hardly give that to DP's child!

sonlypuppyfat · 04/07/2014 22:09

I had a lovely maiden name and now married I've got quite a common one, but I never considered keeping it I'm married. And double barreled names are a bit pretentious.

PenguinsHatchedAnEgg · 04/07/2014 22:10

I would like a twist on what I believe is the Spanish approach. Everyone pretty much has a double barrelled name. The kids get a name from each parent. I believe, however, it is the male name that gets handed down in Spain. I think that they commonly only use the male name in everyday life.

So, my scenario is Jane Smith-Jones and Paul Brown-Green marry and have kids. Both keep their names. Or they don't marry. Either way, they have kids. The kids are Molly Smith-Green and Max Smith-Green (or whatever name the parent chooses to pass down). The kids can use both names as adults, or pick one.

I think it would be brilliant. Single parents could pass down both their names. People who wanted to avoid passing on the name of a parent for some reason could use the other name. It would work generation after generation.

When I run the world....

scottishmummy · 04/07/2014 22:12

Double barrelled are only pretentious if yiu think one must subsume to male name

basgetti · 04/07/2014 22:13

Not married, DS has my name. Baby I'm expecting will have my name too.

asutty5 · 04/07/2014 22:14

I had to laugh @ santaslittlemonkeybutler. I wish it could be that easy haha

ChunkyPickle · 04/07/2014 22:16

DSes have DP's name. DS1, because it alliterated with the first name we loved (think of that what you will - we think it sounds awesome), and DS2 because even though I'd have quite liked to give him my surname (and do regret it a bit), I was concerned that it would look a bit too much like DS1 was DP's and DS2 was mine. Not to other people, but to the kids and I don't want DS1 thinking that DS2 is more important to me because we share a name.

I'm not sure if it's a silly reason or not, but it's too late now as turns out you can change a first name really easily, but not surnames (I had a wobble so checked). I'm not really sure that I see why that is - surely the name is the name and no part is more important than any other.

I didn't like double barrelling - just felt clumsy, and I have no intention of giving up my name if we get married (which we might, just for paperwork). I know they're my kids, I don't need to share a name to feel like a family.

elQuintoConyo · 04/07/2014 22:17

Penguins you can now choose the order of the surnames.

DS could be: firstname+my surname+DH surname.

DS' complete name in syllables is 2+2+3, it flowed better that way.

he is the spit of me so i win thelooky-likey competition

PenguinsHatchedAnEgg · 04/07/2014 22:18

That's good ElQuinto. Sounds like Spain is far more feminist in their naming than we are!

Itscurtainsforyou · 04/07/2014 22:21

We are married. We both retained our origin surnames. DC is firstname, middlename, myname-hisname. It seemed wrong (to us) to give only one name. I don't give a monkeys what anyone thinks about double-barrelled names!

Notso · 04/07/2014 22:22

As I have said before both on here and in real life, it's fascinating how there is the special category of "women's last names" that are difficult to spell, awkward, ugly......but only when women have them. They are fine for their brothers- somehow the maleness cancels out the unfortunate nature of the name.....

I went to school with two boys who were best friends one had the surname Lacoc the other the surname Balls (I know you couldn't make it up) they both had endless teasing at school. One has taken his wife's name now.
My male cousin changed his name to his Dads name as he had the same teasing and comments I did about our surname.
I think the teasing, constant spelling out and dislike of their own name isn't a rarity in males, it's just they don't often do anything about it.

HeeHiles · 04/07/2014 22:24

DP and I weren't married I gave my children my surname. Glad l did as now I am a lone parent we all have the same surname.

Only1scoop · 04/07/2014 22:26

I find it slightly more pretentious when dc are given heaps of middle names which they will never use.

Dd has one short strong Christian name....

And a tremendously long posh hyphenated surname

Grin
elQuintoConyo · 04/07/2014 22:26

Spain? Feminist? I just farted while laughing so hard and blew off the duvet!

In the UK you have a lot of choice about selecting a surname. Sure, people might think A, B or C about your choices, but they are a choice, I'm sure the registrars don't give a fig.

NecklessMumster · 04/07/2014 22:30

Not married and got dp's name
I did think about giving them my name but was a bit loved up at the time and it was sort of a gift to him, also so I didn't have to explain about not being married so much if they had his name and also because I knew at some level they were more attached to me, he doesn't even have parental responsibility. And I don't like hyphenated.

flipchart · 04/07/2014 22:32

The four of us have the same name, my husbands.

Suits me and I'm happy with that.

TessOfTheFurbyvilles · 04/07/2014 22:35

Married and I took DH's name, so we (me, DH and four DC) all have same name.

DS1 isn't DH's biological son, and he had my maiden name at birth, and my final decision as to whether I'd change my surname was based on how DS1 felt. DS1 made it clear he wanted his name to be legally changed to DH's, who has been dad to him since he was two-years old, and thus the decision was made.

I admit I'm glad he wanted to change it, as I knew I wanted to take DH's surname (as I prefer it to my maiden name).

However, DS1 didn't want to part with my maiden name completely, so he adopted it as a third middle name. I also adopted it as my second middle name.

scottishmummy · 04/07/2014 22:46

If it the desire to have same name,why isn't female surname preferred option
It's usually make bane,to denote family,and territorially they're his

scottishmummy · 04/07/2014 22:47

If it the desire to have same name,why isn't female surname preferred option
It's usually op for male,to denote family,and territorially they're his.not different dads

OryxCrake · 04/07/2014 22:53

My children have my surname.

We didn't get married until they were in their late teens and we sort of decided they'd have my name because everyone assumed they'd have their dad's and that annoyed us.

They have his surname as a middle name.

When we did get married, nobody changed their names!

Kleptronic · 04/07/2014 23:00

Mine. My child has my name last. I kept my name. Good job I did this as my husband left. My child has first name, middle name (father's middle name), father's last name, my last name. No hyphen, although some people insist on putting one in. Neither of us has trouble at airports.

No clue what any grandchildren would be called, should the other parent be equally highly monikered.

The school insists on calling me Mrs even though I have always gone by Ms Maiden Name.

I try not to think about the maiden name being my father's name; I am the beginning!

Dragonlette · 04/07/2014 23:09

Dd1 has my surname because I was a lone parent and I certainly wasn't going to give her the name of a man who wanted nothing to do with her.

Dd2 has dp's surname. We aren't married. We considered double-barreling but our names sound horrendous together. So basically I chose the first name I wanted and then decided which surname sounded better with that first name. Mine sounded clunky with that first name, his sounded much better, so I went with that, completely my decision, dp was happy either way. If she'd been a boy she'd have had my surname because my name goes better with the boys name I wanted.

Ludways · 04/07/2014 23:11

Mine have dh's surname. Dh already had a dd with his name and I wanted the sibling group to be linked together by their surname.

Hakluyt · 04/07/2014 23:13

"Mine sounded clunky "

Yep, that ol' woman's name problem!