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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Marriage certificate

48 replies

PsychicPaper · 24/01/2014 10:39

I have just come back from the registry office where we have given notice of marriage.

I was asked for my Dad's name, and his occupation

Not a word was spoken about my Mum.

Really?

OP posts:
ImMarmite · 24/01/2014 21:40

I got married last Friday, neither my dad nor my husbands dad were there yet we were expected to have our fathers name & occupation on our wedding certificate...it didn't happen tho as it doesn't legal need to be on!! Oh & it's nothing to do with heritage/censors/family trees ect, I asked!!

nameequality · 24/01/2014 23:03

Yes it's dreadful isn't it.

I only realised earlier this year when I got my marriage certificate out .

I will go and see how many signatures I have.

You have given me the nudge to write to my MP about this and see whether this has been discussed in the House of Commons at all recently - you'd thing with the new same sex marriage act it may have come up?!

nameequality · 24/01/2014 23:14

Yeah! I have exceeded my target of 500 with a massive surge today the one day I stay offline - there's clearly A LOT of people lurking on this thread.

goodiegoodieyumyum · 25/01/2014 07:13

Some it has to do with the law of citizenship, it ids through your father not your mother, that you get citizenship, if my mother had been english and not my father I could not have got a British passport, I was not born on England, when I qas younger it used to be either your father or Grandfather but they changed the law. I will try and look up yhe reason for it

goodiegoodieyumyum · 25/01/2014 07:14

Sorry you also have to be legimate, hence why I think fathers name on birth certificate.

goodiegoodieyumyum · 25/01/2014 07:24

Should had I was born before 1983, the law changed sfter that, but perhaps as you say the forms hadn't chsnged since then, this reflected that.

nameequality · 25/01/2014 16:16

By coincidence my campaign is in The Telegraph!

www.telegraph.co.uk/women/womens-life/10594351/Why-cant-your-mothers-name-be-on-your-wedding-certificate.html

...15% of their poll takers think it's fine to just have father's details on marriage certificates.... Angry

TheDoctrineOfSnatch · 25/01/2014 16:19

Only 15% in a telegraph poll? That sounds like a triumph!

nameequality · 25/01/2014 16:45

Yes actually you are right! That is good news!

nameequality · 27/01/2014 20:15

I've just written to my MP to ask him to raise this matter with Maria Miller (Women & Equality Minister).

If you feel strongly about this then please let your MP know.

ChutesTooNarrow · 27/01/2014 20:20

You do not have to have your father and his occupation on your wedding certificate. I don't, I requested he was not as he had nothing to do with my marriage.

The only comment the registrar had was what if someone were tracing my family tree? I answered they would look at my birth certificate for that.

PsychicPaper · 27/01/2014 22:30

I will keep my dad on, we have a good relationship

but, I do with my mum too, and there i dont have the choice.

I will indeed write to my MP

OP posts:
nameequality · 28/01/2014 10:34

Chutes - I know you don't have to have your Dad on the certificate but what irks is that you can't have your Mum.

Psychic - lwet us know what response you get from your MP,

ChutesTooNarrow · 28/01/2014 12:16

Oh I do get that! I just wanted to point out it was an option not to have your father there. It wasn't explained to me at my registrar interview that it was optional! I fully support the campaign for equality, and I wouldn't have questioned it at all had both my parents been put on my marriage certificate.

nameequality · 28/01/2014 13:23

Oh OK yes I see what you mean. They should definitely make it clear that it's optional!

nameequality · 01/05/2014 17:58

Bumping - my campaign has nearly 25,000 signatures!

[[http://www.change.org/en-GB/petitions/mothers-names-should-be-on-marriage-certificates?utm_campaign=twitter_link&utm_medium=twitter&utm_source=share_petition Link here!]]

Caroline Criado-Perez has written about it in the New Statesman today.

sashh · 03/05/2014 11:01

I was just coming on to post about the petition, I was sent a link via email.

Spispens · 03/05/2014 14:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

nameequality · 12/05/2014 20:56

Bumping if anyone is here in this graveyard section of MN.

The petition is at change.org/nameequality and now has 28,000 signatures and has been in the Independent, The Times and possibly tomorrow will be in the Telegraph which maybe featuring a picture of me in my wedding dress . Tomorrow Caroline Criado-Perez will be talking about this on Woman's Hour and I will be on BBC Radio Solent at 7:30am.

nameequality · 12/05/2014 20:59

oops this is not the graveyard!! I am mistaking this for the other thread that got moved to a special petition section. Grin

ssh - let's talk about it here...

Spiritedwolf · 14/05/2014 01:07

I'm Scottish and now live in Scotland again but married in England but I didn't realise till reading this thread that it was treated differently. I was furious at the time to put down my father's name as if I was a piece of property to be handed over. Not helped by having fallen out with him at the time.

We had both of our DMs as witnesses to get them a mention.

I did take DH's surname, but mainly because I wanted to lose my father's name which I dislike. If we were ever to divorce (no plans to!) I think I'd take DS's second middlename which can be a surname or keep my current one.

ChubbyKitty · 14/05/2014 01:47

Well that's bloody annoying. Not only because of the vile ownership thing (no one has ever 'owned' me, thank you) but also because my mum died last year, we get married next year, it'd be nice to have her mentioned at some point, you know, as if she did exist or something? Crazy, I know..Hmm

Will sign your petition now and send it out.

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