The Feminist Pub (continued).

[UptoapointLordCopper]

Been busy. Came back today to have a look but the Pub thread was full! Shall we continue here?

Third episode of Borgen on tonight.

My boys have the most gorgeous eyelashes you ever did see.

My 8 yr old HATES them - they brush on sunglasses when he blinks and get in the way apparently.

He said once that he was going to cut them off, and asked the hairdresser if she could cut them for him - he is not an eyelash fan!

"Hate heels"

Oh, the stupid cartoon eyelash things really gets my goat as well!
Guess what, ALL my boys have eyelashes, every single one of them. FFS.

Please tell me that this wins the prize for the most overpriced, sexist, pernicious piece of shit plastic tat marketed at girls this Christmas?!

Linking together the height thing and the creepy chivalry thing from upthread, when I was fully qualified and an expert in my niche of law, but relatively young I found that there was a certain type of middle aged man who would have difficulty listening to my opinion in meetings (even though they were often the one paying my bills!).

I soon discovered that, as an already tall woman, wearing 3 inch heels to the meeting was an incredibly effective way of disarming them. There was something that their brains just couldn't compete about physically looking up to me to talk to/do the meeting and greeting bit of the meeting. Really affected the dynamic.

Probably not the most feminist thing to do, and interestingly as I got older (by which I mean into my 30s) I encountered it less and went back to ballet pumps.

So great to see all these grown-ups doing music! I have long felt sad that while we now recognise that sport, or at least physical activity, is good for everyone, there seems to be a belief that music is only worth doing if you are pro-standard.
Orchestras for all!

Yes Pacific, that is grim. However the piece of Barbie tat that dd1 wants for Christmas is a 3-figure-sum worth of tat. She isn't getting it. But Father Christmas at the school fair has ok'd it, so this is going to be tricky.

Right tell me to woman-up. I have just found out that a work trip I am supposed to be going on (I never go anywhere, hence my dithering and confusion) will cost an insane amount as it turns out the policy says a flight of that length can be booked Business. I have led a sheltered life and the numbers are blowing my mind. The travel agent recognises that my mind is blown and is suggesting alternatives like Premium Economy one way or both ways.

Tell me that I should get the figures for Business signed off and stop being a wimp about it, because it is the policy. It applies to everyone, including me.
I have got stuck in a self-perpetuating feedback loop where I never get to go anywhere so I have no confidence so no one thinks I want to go anywhere or will perform when I get there. I have a new-ish boss, who is behaving as if he has confidence in me, and it is realising how much I have internalised the lack of trust of my previous boss. Tell me to book the expensive flights and get the hell on with it.

Book the Business tickets, mildred! After all, you are a senior executive and need to arrive at Exotic Destination fresh and ready to communicate your amazing insights.

Book the expensive flights and get the hell on with it. It's a long flight, it's work, you need to be compos mentis when you get there, which is precisely why the policy allows you to fly business. Now why on earth would you broadcast the fact you don't think you're worth it by a very public act of self-abnegation like only going Premium Economy? Hmn? Hmn?

Have a punishment essay of not less than 2000 words on this very topic PM'ed to me before close of business, please.

This is the problem, I don't think I am worth it!
Green face taken on the chin - this is a bloody nice problem to have. I am really thrilled to be going, there have been other trips for several of the team that I have not been included on and this is a huge deal for me.
Thanks for the pep talks.
Apart from anything else, I really need to close this issue down NOW (in my head, on my desktop, in my life) and get it out the way and do some actual WORK which is ALL urgent.
thanks for letting me witter on

Good grief, book the expensive tickets, woman!
Can I come as your PA?

Essay, 4:30 pm, get cracking.

Angela

I think was mildred is going through is part of that Imposter Complex thing, isn't it? 'I am not good enough at my job and soon I shall be found out and they'll want their money back for those outrageously expensive flights'.
Whereas a man is more likely to see a perk like that as his due...

So, mildred, it is your fucking feminist duty to book the tickets, drink complimentary champagne and eat truffles en route and arrive looking all glamorous and fresh as a daisy.

Yes, I am too.
Measly public servant (kind of), I'll never fly anything other than Ryanair cattle class

I would love you to! I am going to arrive and look around and think what am I doing here and where are my babies and what sort of a fraud am i?

if I were going with a mn-er we would have a right laugh.

Speaking of where are my babies? I am already practising the blank, non-plussed face I am going to wear when people ask me that, and I say "with their... father. Their other parent."

Absolutely Pacific, I know it well.

My sister came to my workplace the other day and admired my new office. I admitted to her I didn't feel I'd 'earned' it and was a bit of a con sitting here in top floor splendour. She rolled her eyes at me. All the years I've put into this job (not to mention all the accessories I've put into the office) and I still can't quite own it.

I have stopped agonising about this now I have realised how long I am going to have to watch films. Incredible. I will have more undisturbed time than I will have had in the total 4 years preceding.

When are we going?
Will you expect me to sit cattle-class while you lord it up with the poshos? [class war]

See, I lack that maternal gene for 'where are my babies?' - the v rare occasion that I am away on my own it's all 'thank goodness'

Yeah! Films, books, chocolate you don't have to share, relative comfort, meals brought to you. Bliss. Blimey, you could even file your nails in peace (personal bugbear of mine that I never manage this).

You may be able to buy a magazine and read it
Or a whole book.
And actually eat your meal in peace.
You can have a drink while waiting to board.
You'll have ALL the peanuts to yourself.

Angela and I are clearly thinking along the same lines

Let's sit next to each other and not talk all the way while we cram in as much peace, quiet and self-indulgence as possible.

Oh, I'm so in!
Can I have noise-cancelling headphones and a black-out eye mask?
Bliss.

I don't care if I never get off, I think I would be quite happy to fly around for a while. You could just do it virtually to save trashing the planet: LONG-HAUL "PLANE" EXPERIENCE. It's like a night club. You turn up, check in, get given your boarding pass, file through a corridor and are shown to your seat. Then it's all movies, books, blankets, eye masks as the "plane" rocks convincingly and no one can reach you. One in a hundred "flights" is randomly selected as "CRASH EXPERIENCE" and those lucky passengers experience the invigorating adrenalin effects of surviving great peril.

Oh, you should develop that idea as a business plan - you'd make ^millions*, I tell'ya!

My latest business plan, though I'm sure someone's already done it: court stylist, helping female defendants/witnesses or partners of same navigate the snap judgments of patriarchy with specially chosen clothes for their court appearances.

What d'you think?

Mildred - I think that there are valid reasons for feeling guilt about booking business class: e.g. if the policy was written in better economic times, the company can't really afford it and no one avails themselves of it except the dickheads.

Otherwise, I agree with the others, woman up and book! I bloody love business class. Been a few times as DH used to do a lot of long haul travel for work and clocked up a million airmiles. We once went Virgin to New York and you could have a free haircut, meal and champagne in the lounge. It was magnificent. Sadly, he has changed jobs since and only travels around the UK, so no more airmiles for me. Boo hiss. My own area of expertise when I return to work is sadly confined to England and Wales, I don't even get as far as Scotland!

Please tell me you are going transatlantic and have flat bed business class so that I can live vicariously!

When people ask where your kids are, I think the correct answer is "What do you mean, am I meant to have brought them with me?" accompanied by a look of panic. Or a friend used to say "I should imagine they are probably at school/at after school club/at their swimming lesson/in bed" depending on the time of day she was asked.

Can I come on your business trip too?

I want that much time by myself in peace. I think I'm lacking the "where are my babies" gene too pacific I took dd1 on holiday at half term without dd2 and I didn't think of her once, other than when dp phoned to let her talk to me. Dp and the cm are perfectly capable of managing without me. I don't get to go on business trips child free though. The best I can hope for is a school trip with 50 teenagers belonging to other people