So many evil men...can't stand it

[SplitHeadGirl]

First of all, I know fully well that men will get upset at what I think and am about to say, so I would like to clarify that I am talking about EVIL men, not the good, wonderful dads and granddads and husbands and nice single blokes out there....the ones who I KNOW (my brain, not my gut, tells me so) are in a majority, but who seem to be few (is it their deafening silence?)

But any fool can see that the sheer amount of men, who are prepared to do unspeakable things to women and girls (and boys as well as other men, not to mention the vulnerable and the elderly...wow, the list goes on) is just overwhelming. I read today about Anene Booysen, and I was absolutely heartbroken, but yet not shocked. For men to be so diabolical to women is not shocking anymore, and that is men's greatest tragedy.

I have two little daughters, and a little son, and I fear for them at the hands of men. Not women...just men.

I feel like I am thinking out loud with this post, so no worries if no one feels they can respond. I just wish I didn't feel so helpless at the tsunami of male violence.

You're derailing Roxanne.

The OP isn't about people doing shit.

It's about the gendered nature of most of that shit.

Which you appear to be denying, in the face of all the statistics.

Fine it's your opinion. But it's objectively wrong. Violence is gendered. All the figures (all of which are collected by male run and male led organisations) say so.

I think men and women are equally evil but they differ in how they express that evil. Men tend to express evil through extreme violence, victimization and psychotic-type behavior. Men are encouraged to express their anger too while women often internalize it instead.

The world can be a pretty scary place though and I agree with you that it's hard to fathom the minds of men who do these things.

You need to hate violence not hate men. Why would we teach our sons that men are rapists.

Many of those rapes took places in countries that have a different culture to us. The rapes in India were by black men. Should we hate foreigners, men, black people or rapists?

I believe that in the future when women and men are equal in the workplace and in positions of power there will be more women committing violent crimes.

Roxanne is entitled to disagree with you.

OMG.

The OP did not say she hates men, she specifically said she lives with one and has a son.

Unless you think all men are evil of course. She said "I would like to clarify that I am talking about EVIL men, not the good, wonderful dads and granddads and husbands and nice single blokes out there....the ones who I KNOW (my brain, not my gut, tells me so) are in a majority"

What bit of that tells you she hates men?

I mentioned women and children as a comparison! I didn't say men dont do that did I? No, I stated that men feeling ashamed because other men rape is like women feeling ashamed because other women kill their children.

Where in there do I mention it not been mainly men? I dont. I have never once said its not mainly men.

What I have said is its individuals. That all men shouldn't be tarred with the same brush which is what OP was basically saying with the only been afraid of men, men been ashamed to be male and males been the most dangerous thing.

Its individuals. If males were the most dangerous thing then every male would be the same.

My rapist would have still raped me whether decent men spoke out because he has his own mind. My rapes were all premeditated, he knew what he was doing and how can that be stopped? No one but him knew what he was planning.

Calling me a handmaiden makes fuck all sense as I don't serve anyone!

Most men who commit violent acts such as murder aren't psychotic. They are just controlling and have a huge sense of entitlement.

Men and women are not equally evil. There is no evidence for that.(Although I hate the word evil. It seems to describe some mysterious malevolent force at work which is not true).

Violence is committed mainly by men, particularly more extreme violence. That is a fact.

you must be hard work to live with op. how often do you blame your husband and father for what 'their species' has done?

i hope you're ok roxanne

It isn't individuals. There are patterns and not to recognise that is denying the problem.

Roxanne - do you not think rape is a gendered crime? Do you think that society takes it seriously enough? Do you think that the fact that only 1 in 10 women report their rape, or that only 6% of rapists are convicted is good enough? Do you think that there is victim blaming when it comes to rape?

Do you think that nothing can be done to change this culture? I think that good men could help change this culture.

Split Obviously think the same as everybody else about that case. What else do you expect me to think?

I have stated already that I know men commit these things seen as I have had them done to me as well my mum. I also know, Imo, that these people would do this whether more people spoke out about it.

You only change things by recognising the current situation/

You know Roxanne, I'm going to go with your people thing for a minute.

I think people can change this culture. I think everyone can play their part. But to do that people have to recognise the problem and name it.

Eh?? Saint, my husband will happily (I checked with him just now) come on here to tell you that he is a very happy guy - in fact, he said you are to 'wind your neck in'!!

Good men cant change rapists!

They cant unless they are there at the time the rapist is there!

In certain cases people get justice against their rapist. There are campaigns like on MN about rape. In my case, he got away with it.

Yes there is victim blaming but that's from both sexes. It isn't just a man thing though. I was blamed by females and males yet I was a young teen and he was in early 20's.

But you know speaking up about it is only the start. There then have to be real consequences for these men. At the moment there aren't so obviously they'll keep committing the crimes. No one is going to stop them. And they know it.

And that is no reflection on their victims. Society is set up not to listen to victims, to dismiss and minimise their trauma. Something else that needs to be addressed.

Roxane you seem to be very fatalistic.

Your rapist (and mine) didn't come from nowhere. They came from the society which produced them - the society that told them it was OK to penetrate our bodies when we didn't want them to because they had some kind of entitlement to.

You seem to think that no matter what kind of society we had, these men would exist in the same numbers as they do now. I don't believe that. There may always be rapists, murderers etc. But in the same numbers as now? I don't think so. I think if we as a society make more effort to stop producing rapists, then we can achieve that.

We can walk on the fucking moon FGS. We produced television, the internet, non-stick pans. We abolished the death penalty, we stopped burning old women we didn't like the look of, we stopped torturing people accused of crimes. We can reduce the number of rapists and murderers we produce if we put our minds to it.

So tell me how people speaking out will stop someone been raped?

What can be said to make potential rapists think 'oh, no actually good point, I wont rape her'.

Maybe they can't be changed but they can be prevented from doing it again. And then maybe the next generation will see that happen and not have quite as much sense of entitlement that a woman's body is there for men. And so on and so on.

But it still comes down the Naming The Problem.

Lack of a rape culture, roxanne, where rapists feels entitled to violating women's bodies with little chance of being brought to justice. It could happen.

I'm sorry OP, but your treatment and goading towards Roxanne is pretty fucking disgusting.

Young boys being told its not OK to put their hands up girls shirts or touch their breasts. Young boys not being told that the worst thing they could be is a girl.

Stopping the objectification of women.

Treating rape victims seriously.

That is just a few things I can think of at this time of night. There are many many more.

Really? But she's pretty much saying that rape and violence is just something we have to put up with. I don't agree with that.

Here's a few:

How about we bring up boys to know that if they want to have sex with a girl, they need to ensure she wants to as well?

How about we tell them that it's only allowed if everyone involved is actively participating and enjoying it?

Howe about we tell them that they're responsible for not raping someone, girls aren't responsible for stopping boys from raping them?

How about we warn them what the signs of a rapist are, to make sure that if a boy they hang about with shows those signs, they don't leave their female friends / sisters alone with that boy?

That's just a few suggestions off the top of my head. I'm sure there's loads more we can do.