So many evil men...can't stand it

[SplitHeadGirl]

First of all, I know fully well that men will get upset at what I think and am about to say, so I would like to clarify that I am talking about EVIL men, not the good, wonderful dads and granddads and husbands and nice single blokes out there....the ones who I KNOW (my brain, not my gut, tells me so) are in a majority, but who seem to be few (is it their deafening silence?)

But any fool can see that the sheer amount of men, who are prepared to do unspeakable things to women and girls (and boys as well as other men, not to mention the vulnerable and the elderly...wow, the list goes on) is just overwhelming. I read today about Anene Booysen, and I was absolutely heartbroken, but yet not shocked. For men to be so diabolical to women is not shocking anymore, and that is men's greatest tragedy.

I have two little daughters, and a little son, and I fear for them at the hands of men. Not women...just men.

I feel like I am thinking out loud with this post, so no worries if no one feels they can respond. I just wish I didn't feel so helpless at the tsunami of male violence.

Brenslo: what about the women with no living male relatives? Or don't they count?

Treen: What sort of violence?

Army, how would you reduce violence in society?

Sexual assault

Kim I don't doubt it probably is mainly be men, but its also interesting the other stat I posted about 3% have commited or tried to commit rapes in the US (obviously those that do are presumably repeat offenders).

You simply therefore cannot blame or expect 97% of people to take responsibility for the actions of 3%. There is disproportionate crime from black people for example (due to societal factors) but I doubt anyone in this thread would be bemoaning the "tsunami of crime by black's", rather they would acknowledge its a small minority that commits the crimes and they are the ones who need to be dealt with.

Education and increasing equality with all crimes is the way forward, putting divisions in by accusing people of enjoying rape privelege whatever that was meant to mean, isn't. All that serves to do is put half the population's backs up and makes people weary of associating with feminism, its dangerous for everyone. Co-operation between everyone is the way forward, not finger pointing.

At the very least I'd stop the glamourisation of it.

Army, what glamorisation?

As for the majority not taking responsibilty for the minority: I absolutely and loudly shun people who joke about or trivialise sexual violence. Don't you?

The stuff in films, computer games, literature, porn, art... that glamourisation.

Who are you addressing?

kim147 Sat 02-Nov-13 23:12:35
I think last night got very heated. And there have been some very black and white statements that do not do feminism any good IMO. Including some of the stuff that was said last night. So when it feels like you are being ignored or disagreed with about something you are so passionate about, you react.

kim147, read your above comments back to yourself and imagine they were being said by a man in the dock. I really don't want to descend to some of the rudeness that's already appeared on this thread, but it sounds very much like someone disagreeing with someone else's passionately held view is an excuse for violence. In this case, a verbal backlash on a forum, but in the kitchen after a few pints, a physical one.

Sorry, but it's just not good enough in my view. Some awful comments made to Roxanne. Being upset about male violence is no excuse.

Army, I'm not convinced that does glamourise violence.

ArmyOfPenguins Sat 02-Nov-13 23:50:12
Brenslo: what about the women with no living male relatives? Or don't they count?

Yes, of course they count. The point I was trying to make, maybe clumsily, is that rape is an awful crime that has victims beyond the woman who is raped. Surely you can acknowledge how awful it must be for a husband whose wife is raped, or a father whose daughter is raped. I hope?

But kim people do strive to understand why, and the issues are addressed, there's way more campagins like no means no than there has ever been in history. That's good, that's education. Nothing wrong with that.

Nor is there absolutely anything wrong with pointing out men do commit the vast majority of sexual assaults.

But the problem comes when you start blaming that innocent majority for being complicit for bizarre reasons of priveledge or making that minority out to be much larger than it actually is. That 3% needs to be reached and to do that you need to reach 100% of men, totally agree, but read through the opening post alone "sheer amount of men" "(good men) seem to be few" "tsunami of male violence"...

kim147, ultimately, I think we can both agree that the cause of feminism has been done no favours by this thread.

Brenslo, why do you think that?

For what its worth I really don't see that you can blame films, computer games etc

For starters they exist in a prism of their own, unless you'd ban any film with a crime (and there's a lot more films featuring murder than rape for example) then its hard to see how you'd justify it, plus sexual assault is far less in western countries with far more access to such media, compared to far poorer countries, likewise its down from the past when there was far less media so it seems a bit misplaced to blame it on glamorisation.

I doubt anyone commits a rape not knowing its wrong, or thinks its wrong but then saw a film with it so decided its ok. Like with any other crime really.

I reda some research into rapists in prison,which said many think they simply do what other men do, and it was unfair they got convicted for it. So it seems many rapists who are convicted, do think rape is okay.

If I had the time, I'd go back thru the entire thread and quote every disturbing claim.

The title for a start...so many evil men. We're living is a scumpit of men, a tsunami of male violence.

Maybe I'm living in a state of delusion, because I just see that.

Sorry, typo, should have said "I just don't see that."

When so many women are attacked by men, it is unsurprising that the OP sees it that way.

Men should be encouraged to step up to an equal share of childcare, and by encouraged I do not mean that we should be applauded for doing things women are expected to do. In fact we should all wake up to the fact that raising a new life well, is likely the most significant thing any human being will do in their lifetime.

Nurturing is a core quality of humanity, and not as we've arbitrarily assigned feminine. A significant reason violence in my view is not often committed by women, is that the role role of primary nurturer has been assigned to them. If you have nurtured anything the very concept of violence/harm becomes that tougher to stomach.

That and I think we'd solve a lot more societal problems than just violence, and not just to the benefit of women. More and more men would benefit beyond measure by getting in touch with an essential quality of their own humanity that has been conditioned out of them, and perhaps those who have had it battered out of them entirely (often by the very violence we are discussing), are the worst perpetrators.