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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Feminism: chat

Original poster

Can I ask you for some links about porn please?

479 replies

EhricLovesTeamQhuay · 20/10/2013 10:29

Specifically accounts of ex porn actors talking about abuse/coercion in porn films, and anything academic about the effects of porn on male sexuality and sexual attitudes?

I've read bits, but I'm already convinced. This is for a friend whose new boyfriend doesn't get it and she feels like she doesn't have the evidence to show him.
Thanks

OP posts:
paperlantern · 23/10/2013 22:53

why?

FloraFoxForAnyFucker · 23/10/2013 22:56

why what?

Grennie · 23/10/2013 22:58

paper - The point is teenagers are learning about sex from porn. Porn is nothing like real sex. It is not a good education tool for vulnerable teenagers.

paperlantern · 23/10/2013 23:01

for example oral sex on women is considered quite normal even a woman's right. yet mostly I really don't like it. I say no I would walk away.

I get rather turned on by seman on my body, I say yes.

that to me is empowerment, the ability to say yes or no based on my own preferences.

other person's experience of porn is therefore irrelevant

paperlantern · 23/10/2013 23:03

for me the discussion should be more about teaching or children about consent. The rights and responsibilities of the individual to say no and for their sexual partner to respect that.

Grennie · 23/10/2013 23:07

No it is not about consent. That is too simplistic. It is about truly wanted enjoyable sex. That is different.

I can consent to someone cumming on me. That is not the same as sex I actively enjoy.

By the way paper, are you a woman or a man?

FloraFoxForAnyFucker · 23/10/2013 23:07

I'm all right jack, eh?

paperlantern · 23/10/2013 23:09

that includes for me wherever your boundaries are.

the right for a woman to feel confident enough to say they don't want their partner to watch porn.

but also to understand they need to walk away if someone does not respect their boundaries

paperlantern · 23/10/2013 23:12

but what if you do actively enjoy it.

we should only ever consent to something sexually we actively enjoy. that is where responsibility for saying no comes in. consenting to something you don't actively enjoy should be seen as abhorrent

does it matter if I'm male or female

Grennie · 23/10/2013 23:13

Yes it does matter paper if you are female or male

paperlantern · 23/10/2013 23:14

why?

SinisterSal · 23/10/2013 23:14

It takes time to learn about your boundaries and the things that you enjoy. there is a massive learning curve, and it should come from within. Porn denies that space to learn at a manageable pace.

paperlantern · 23/10/2013 23:15

does it? why?

Grennie · 23/10/2013 23:17

Because of social conditioning of women - patriarchy.

Are you a woman or a man?

paperlantern · 23/10/2013 23:17

but in essence isn't that therefore what we should focus on with our young people. that it takes time to learn your boundaries. but learn them you must.

This to me is a far more important feminist issue than porn

SinisterSal · 23/10/2013 23:19

they are not seperate issues.

And that is not the only issue with porn

paperlantern · 23/10/2013 23:20

quite happy to reply to the gender commeny when you explain to me why it matters.

SinisterSal · 23/10/2013 23:21

Wevs.

I'm out.

FloraFoxForAnyFucker · 23/10/2013 23:24

Why should we have to educate our children about anal-to-oral sex just because some other kids are getting teir education about what to expect from sex from porn?

paperlantern · 23/10/2013 23:29

problem for me is that even if you are right, does censorship resolve the issue? is it even possible in an Internet based society?

the hard drugs argument. in countries where it has been tried it may not have reduced crime as hoped but more addicts have entered rehab. essentially it has opened up a conversation and more people are saying no of their own choice.

I like the approach of education. but to educate you need evidence.

Grennie · 23/10/2013 23:29

paper - You honestly can't see why it would matter??

SolidGoldBrass · 23/10/2013 23:36

Surely the best solution to the concern that children are 'getting their sex education from porn' is to improve the actual sex education they are given in schools. And to talk to our children about sex, or at least seek out and make available good books and websites about it.

SinisterSal · 23/10/2013 23:39

it ain't the same as having your first orgasm to questionable shit SGB. It just isn't.

AnyCuntingFucker · 23/10/2013 23:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

paperlantern · 23/10/2013 23:41

I can see why it might matter to you. but I think the argument you will present says more about me than you.

I have actively sought your opinions and to understand what is behind them. I ask why? I rarely get an answer beyond isn't it obvious or because porn is damaging.

I am with SGB regarding the biggest problem with porn that you have proved is with the filming of it. I am totally unconvinced that censorship can possibly resolve that. better regulation and harsher punishment can

the why seems unanswered.