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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

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Original poster

Can I ask you for some links about porn please?

479 replies

EhricLovesTeamQhuay · 20/10/2013 10:29

Specifically accounts of ex porn actors talking about abuse/coercion in porn films, and anything academic about the effects of porn on male sexuality and sexual attitudes?

I've read bits, but I'm already convinced. This is for a friend whose new boyfriend doesn't get it and she feels like she doesn't have the evidence to show him.
Thanks

OP posts:
Grennie · 23/10/2013 23:44

Because men rarely understand the socialisation girls and women are subject to in not setting or ignoring boundaries. That is why I wanted to know if you are a man.

paperlantern · 23/10/2013 23:45

absolutely SGB I was taught repeatedly the safety angles condoms sexual health. There was NEVER any discussion about consent.

quite. your assumption about my being a man suggests that a woman can't possibly have this opinion. Really? are you so sure?

paperlantern · 23/10/2013 23:48

it also assumes that women can't possibly enjoy sexual practices sich as anal sex, pearl necklaces or indeed porn.

FloraFoxForAnyFucker · 23/10/2013 23:48

I don't think you're necessarily a man. You could be Laurie Penny.

SabrinaMulFUCKERJjones · 23/10/2013 23:57

Well, I'm worried - yes worried - about the effect of prolific, explicit porn on young people. Call me pearl clutchy if you want - but it isn't born from prudery.

There have been a few things recently reporting on the frequent use of porn for masturbation having a detrimental affect on young men's ability to enjoy real sex, and maintain normal relationships. 'Date my porn star' showed a young man (self confessed porn user from round 12yo) who had had 60 odd sexual encounters (all ONS's) - but had only managed to climax in about 20 of the them.

Now I'm sorry - but that is not normal. Either he has an undiagnosed sexual dysfunction, or the porn is having an effect on his experience & enjoyment of real sex.

I really, really, really hope that these fears are not true, and that we are all just being hysterical or whatever - but this post comes from 'sabrina mother of 2 fast-approaching teen boys' rather than 'sabrina - feminist.' (Not that they are mutually exclusive.'

I'm off to bed now - as my NC indicates I'm not best happy with HQ tonight.

paperlantern · 23/10/2013 23:57

again why why why? the questions I've asked remain totally unanswered.

why is expanding our sexual practices a bad thing between two consenting adults?

why does it matter what the sources of these are? of bizarre sexual practices including bestiality, multi orrifice penetration (including by toes euww), group sex etc has been around for years. presumably it is only the ease of access to these materials that is the issue. but if we teach consent my partner can want to do something all he likes, if I don't like it won't do it because he values me and my pleasure.

Grennie · 24/10/2013 00:00

You think there is nothing wrong with sexual practices like bestiality????

paperlantern · 24/10/2013 00:01

sabrina - I think actually your spot on. the biggest detriment porn is doing to people is just that. the reduction of men's real life sexual activity not increase in variety. you only have to look at the plethora of mumsnet threads ( and the studies in support) to know that is a pressing problem

Grennie · 24/10/2013 00:04

And what about women paper?

paperlantern · 24/10/2013 00:04

what NO triple euww!!! how did you get that?

my point was that this kind of material has been around for hundreds of years. sp presumably it is not the existence of such material that makes this a pressing problem but it's proliferation

paperlantern · 24/10/2013 00:05

sorry paragraph break in wrong place Blush Blush

Grennie · 24/10/2013 00:07

paper 2 questions you havent answered:

  1. Do you think there is nothing wrong with bestiality?
  1. What about women?
paperlantern · 24/10/2013 00:08

for me the biggest problem for woman is the right to explore their own wants and desires in all aspects of their life unfettered. that includes the right to say what they don't want. most of the problems raised on this thread stem more from that one single issue than any other

paperlantern · 24/10/2013 00:10

I did but for your sake bestiality vile. I would have thought that was bloody obvious

paperlantern · 24/10/2013 00:11

my comment was in reference to the existence of material depicting a variety of sexual practices not being a new thing

SinisterSal · 24/10/2013 00:12

Porn does not help in that imo.

Maybe in an ideal world it would be an invaluable tool.

I agree with what you said above that women particularly need to be taught how to enforce their boundaries. Maybe taht would help

It's worth noting that porn specialises in pushing and breaking boundaries - the irony is that part of the pro- argument is it helps women find and protect their own.

Grennie · 24/10/2013 00:13

No it wasn't paper. In fact you have implied the exact opposite.

why is expanding our sexual practices a bad thing between two consenting adults?

"why does it matter what the sources of these are? of bizarre sexual practices including bestiality, multi orrifice penetration (including by toes euww), group sex etc has been around for years. presumably it is only the ease of access to these materials that is the issue. but if we teach consent my partner can want to do something all he likes, if I don't like it won't do it because he values me and my pleasure."

So is group sex and multi orifice pentration also wrong?

paperlantern · 24/10/2013 00:16

I'm not sure that is part of the pro argument.

for me the whole issue of state censorship and it's problems far outweighs the problems with porn. most of which seem sensationalised and can be tackled by other means which are of benefit to women as a whole.

I would like to see some evidence that I'm wrong. so far this to me has been missing

paperlantern · 24/10/2013 00:17

greenie - dont deliberately misinterpret I explained the paragraph break was in the wrong place.

Please rereaf with it in the right place

Grennie · 24/10/2013 00:20

So paperm just to clarify, you think groups sex and pentration in multiple orifices is just fine?

WhentheRed · 24/10/2013 00:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FloraFoxForAnyFucker · 24/10/2013 00:21

"for me the biggest problem for woman is the right to explore their own wants and desires in all aspects of their life unfettered."

Really? That's the biggest problem for women??

Any you don't think that creating a population of young men who think porn sex is real sex will fetter the experiences that young women have? I'm not talking about in some ideal society but in our actual, today society and the pressures actually on young women.

paperlantern · 24/10/2013 00:22

I believe in consent. consent and it's bedfellow mutual pleasure.

paperlantern · 24/10/2013 00:25

BUT do they think it's real (Where's the evidence?) does it matter where a sexual practice comes from if two people enjoy it together (consent)

I would really like that question answered

FloraFoxForAnyFucker · 24/10/2013 00:25

Also, voices like yours paper contribute to the pressures put on young women. Why is expanding sexual practices even a good thing? This is so so so much the language of pressure that gets put on young women - "hey don't be such a prude" "I thought you were cooler than that" "everybody else is doing it" Add to that Sasha Grey saying "rip all my holes open" and getting an interview in Marie Fucking Claire.