Is the term 'Angry Fucking' potentially offensive to some women?

[Ohsiena]

Ok I said I wouldn't start this, but I've been challenged to do so enough times, so I'm giving in.

It's about this thread - To think you should stay out of other people's bedrooms (378 Posts) 1This thread.

A very few of us understood why the term angry fucking was offensive to MrsC originally.

Most thought she had no sense of humour and just didn't get the joke.

Discussion was widened as a poster thught it was worse as used by a man. This has been attacked as sexist.

I stated on there that I'd like to see what some of the more feminist minded posters would make of this discussion.

I didn't want to start this, I've felt like a bit of a lone voice on there at times and need to do some RL stuff, but I've been called again and again to do so, so I have.

You'll see the phrase pearl clutching a lot....

No you didn't answer my question. I have not seen you answer if it is ok for a woman to discuss fucking her husband, calling someone a cunt, discussing strap ons.

That's my question.

SnowWide what you said up there was

And the fact it IS a man who posted it cannot be glossed over. Not all males are sexual predators, but almost all predators are males.

... and we're back to don't trust the menz.

x-posted

SnowWide
Same joke, differently perceived when uttered by either gender.... differently perceived by some. Not all. And their perceptions are no more intrinsically privileged in this space.

Snow Tell me why a man shouldn't post a joke like he did but a woman may? It is nothing like race at all.

Just because a few males decide to sexually abuse does not mean that all men have to be careful of what they say. I think it is wrong tbh that women can say what they please but god forbid anyone with a dick to say anything!

Yes believing in Hitler would be scary but it still has nothing to do with a man making a joke that would be ok for a women to make,

OneMore i wouldn't go so far as to agree with such a sweeping statement "don't trust the menz"

All I am trying to say is certain words coming from the mouths of men ( or women for that matter) will resonate differently than if someone from the opposite gender had uttered them.

And if beardy had the NN mummybear would there have been page upon page upon page of this? And 2 threads?

I dont think so. And that's the problem.

Either you are offended by the phrase you are offended.
You cannot choose to be offended just because you happen to know the poster is male.

I dont believe in that snow but each to their on. I will treat everyone equal until they give me a reason not too as a stated on the other thread.

But women can use offensive language on here and no one bats an eyelid. So your point makes no sense.

No frothing here and in fact yes somene did say if a woman said it it wouldn't bother them but the fact it as man means its offensive.

This isnt a womans forum, its a parents forum

I can understand that certain things are more jarring coming from a man to a woman actually snow, I genuinely can.

I just don't think this is a good example of such a joke.

And to be honest, any joke that needs to be said by a woman as its that close to the bone, Would possibly be even more offensive.

And you didn't even tell me about green sex!

Oh I thought I did mention the green sex (I think you might have to trawl thru pages of righteous indignation to go back to my original mention!!)

A friend upchucked all over new man after getting down and dirty with him. Hence green sex, as in "green around the gills" or looking ill. She did have acold, so what she brought up was literally green!!

I'm mainly offended that someone (can't be arsed to remember who) suggested getting in the feminist essentially to tell us all what to think. Offended on behalf of 'the feminists' that is who have a bad enough press on mn as it is.

Skim to be honest I think there was a load of twisting going on to involve people from the feminist board.

I'm really pleased it didn't happen, it was almost like let's summon the flying monkeys.

I did say if I was a mn feminist poster I would be offended.

And it's really good to see on the whole this thread is not really turning into the bun fight it could have. It was a goady one.

It was designed to start an argument.

Thankfully it failed.

Oh I am a feminist but I never post on the boards (I think that's possible) so it isn't an official point of view

I don't know what I am.

So long as you're not a man

'My arguement was that people think men cant joke about anything remotely sexual as they are all obviously sexual predators which is not the case at all. '

Is that what the problem was?

Christ, I certainly don't think that at all.

But like someone said, (I think?) if a joke was being made involving use of the word 'Nigger' among black people, it would be quite different to it being made by a white person in the middle of a room full of black people.

Not that I know if 'Nigger' is acceptable to use among black people but I have heard it is.

It's certainly not acceptable to use among white people.

This is what I think I mean.

No skim!

Checked the thread mentioned and it didn't offend me in the slightest. Would prob have been if someone said it to my children, but as far as I know they are not on MN.

There seems to be a lot of anguished hand-wringing all over the place at the moment.

TO a great many people, the word 'fucking' when used specifically to refer to sexual penetration (trying to be inclusive here, penetration could be of a male or of a female, with a penis, a strap on, or a vegetable for all I care) is not offensive, scary or revolting. If you find it a distressing word, it's fine to communicate this to anyone you might be having sex with. However, you don't get to imply to other people that their choice of a word to describe a sexual activity means they are involved in a violent relationship or are themselves sexually violent.

That just makes you sound like the sort of prat who overhears a waiter saying 'Black or white coffee' and starts screaming that the waiter Must Be a RACIALIST, WAAAAAAAH!

at racialist.

It's good to see some actual, reasonable views coming to the thread now, to counter all the "most sexual predators are men and should not be allowed on mumsnet in case they accidentally offend anyone"