Is the term 'Angry Fucking' potentially offensive to some women?

[Ohsiena]

Ok I said I wouldn't start this, but I've been challenged to do so enough times, so I'm giving in.

It's about this thread - To think you should stay out of other people's bedrooms (378 Posts) 1This thread.

A very few of us understood why the term angry fucking was offensive to MrsC originally.

Most thought she had no sense of humour and just didn't get the joke.

Discussion was widened as a poster thught it was worse as used by a man. This has been attacked as sexist.

I stated on there that I'd like to see what some of the more feminist minded posters would make of this discussion.

I didn't want to start this, I've felt like a bit of a lone voice on there at times and need to do some RL stuff, but I've been called again and again to do so, so I have.

You'll see the phrase pearl clutching a lot....

Polar I have to disagree that you can equate Fuck and Rape in that way or sense.

There are two discussions going here, seems.

One is if under any circumstance you dislike these terms - only you can answer that its personal and no one can be told they are wrong as a result.

The other is the very specific joke about the incredible hulk with his angry fucking.

What if a couple generally enjoy sex texts and the man texts I cant wait to fuck you later. OK not to your taste. What if he texts Im going to rape you later? Whole new ball game in my opinion.

Uses of the word 'fuck', so not just sex...

:
point I was making was just because you insert the words into a flowery mills and boon doesn't make it so. I could have changed the story to have her saying "mork the alien wants to eat your hair" but I don't actually think it will be likely she would say that. Guessing you're not going to understand that and am going to find another way to put me down though. Go for it.

There is no way in hell that fuck and rape are the same thing!!

I often tell DH is can't wait to fuck him and he says the same to me. Just means we don't want to have slow lovey dovey sex.

I agree with pickles on this one. I use the word fucking sometimes but that's all it means to me, not rape or anything violent.

It is fine to disagree with the term angry fucking which is fine but not if the only basis for disagreeing was the fact that the poster was male

Are any of those contexts you've listed nice? No, all are associated with anger, frustration or violence. So forgive me for assuming the blinding obvious.

SHRIIIEEEKPoolingBearBlood
Good Job "Congratufuckinglations

May well not be "nice" but not anger frustration or violence.

I told you I'd had the words said to me and they weren't nasty.

I also note the sly I don't actually think it will be likely she would say that

So are you having a pop at me because you disagree with me or some other reason?

Not all of them polar bear, if I can see your point of view about not liking the word then surely you ought to be able to concede others do?

Look at McKay she is telling you how she uses fuck in a non violent and aggressive way, and your not listening.

"Are any of those contexts you've listed nice? No, all are associated with anger, frustration or violence."

You dont have to like it, you can tell men no dont use that word, you can object if you see it on a mumsnet board. This is all your right. Not my nag either all this I want to fuck you malarky I have to say.

But you cant insist others view it the same?

The point is, if you object to the phrase, would it matter if it was a man or a woman who said it?
Because I find racist names offensive. Even if the person using the term was that race. So I would find it offensive either way.
If you find the term angry Fucking offensive, then it must be offensive no mater who says it.

What I meant was I found it unlikely your heroine would whisper "id like to fuck you". Just because you write it down doesn't make it any more likely. But I guess I'm in a minority. Like I said, if I wrote fuck you people would be horrified. Pearls would be clutched, smelling salts fetched. But not because fuck is an aggressive word apparently. There are no negative connotations whatsoever.

I could say

"Fuck off polar bear"

or

You are dead fucking right polar bear

or

Fuck me polar you have a point there.

All mean different things, all contain fuck.

The word fuck is ALL about the context and the way that it is said.

Pickled I do believe others use it without so much of a hint of violence or aggression to the other person. Sorry if I've implied otherwise. I haven't deliberately ignored anyone. However I believe that fuck is by nature an aggressive word, and that people who use it non aggressively are doing it in a somewhat ironic way. Just my opinion. I believe that others do not agree.

Pickled do you not think the word fuck is used to add aggressive emphasis? Do you not think "dead fucking right" is different from "dead right"? With the fucking being a strong, aggressive, usually shocking word that has been added for shock value? Would you tell your mother or child they were dead fucking right?

OK fair enough. We all have different words that make us really itch. I cant stand the word "pussy" oh it makes me heave.

But say the joke was about CatWoman and a sex toy and a joke about a pussy, I could sort of see the link there, and think well I might not like this word but it might not be said in a misogynistic aggressive way.

If you see what I mean?

Im not at all slating you or saying you need pearls if you dont find this funny at all, but there was a lot of goading going on yesterday, and sadly I think the issue was not the joke but the poster to be honest.

I used Spiderman and Webby Fucking yesterday, I am running out now!

Polar - I think fuck has long since stopped being shocking, its such a part of everyday language now its lost its potency.

Even cunt, its used liberally on here.

I think thats why the youngsters are getting ever more inventive with their bad language.

I have a mates dad who is a lovely cuddly farmer and he says fuck every other word.

Do you want a cup of fucking tea? fucking milk? fucking sugar? fucking nippy out isnt it? Its not aggressive in that context.

PS I swear in front of my mother, but never my child. I dont know anyone that does when they are young certainly.

We all try to keep them non potty mouthed as long as possible I imagine.

Fair enough. Probably I'm hopelessly old fashioned and pearl clutchey then in thinking that fuck in general is a nasty, aggressive word. I'm sure there are exceptions but that is what I consider it to fundamentally refer to.

But I'm happy with that.

I don't like the word but I don't think it's always aggressive. Or even usually.

I'd really rather it hadn't gone into such common usage though, people seem quite happy to use it in front of young children these days - but it's okay, because they're not using the word at the children

Can I just ask what's mills and boon?

Im another one who winces at the word fucking. Just because its ubiquitous doesn't mean its right... I did read the original thread and yes, the phrase 'angry fucking' was very jarring. Other posters kept arguing it was to be taken in context of the angry Hulk and hence a harmless joke. But in my mind, it was like this...

Hey did you hear the joke about the Paki and the chicken?
What?!! Thats offensive..
No, no its very funny and its about the chicken actually...

If he wanted to talk about the Hulk, the green sex would have been funny. (My friend has had it; threw up right after an orgasm ) Glowering sex, 10 foot high sex, Incredible Intercourse...

Angry fucking wasnt even funny...

Mills and boom are a serise of "Romance" novels that are very flowers and lame!

Sp 50 shades of the 80s, without the vampires and with making love instead of fucking

Snow wide green sex?

That's a new one on me.

I don't agree with you regarding the word paki. There is no context ever in which that could be acceptable surely? Not even a sniff of ambiguity.