Is the term 'Angry Fucking' potentially offensive to some women?

[Ohsiena]

Ok I said I wouldn't start this, but I've been challenged to do so enough times, so I'm giving in.

It's about this thread - To think you should stay out of other people's bedrooms (378 Posts) 1This thread.

A very few of us understood why the term angry fucking was offensive to MrsC originally.

Most thought she had no sense of humour and just didn't get the joke.

Discussion was widened as a poster thught it was worse as used by a man. This has been attacked as sexist.

I stated on there that I'd like to see what some of the more feminist minded posters would make of this discussion.

I didn't want to start this, I've felt like a bit of a lone voice on there at times and need to do some RL stuff, but I've been called again and again to do so, so I have.

You'll see the phrase pearl clutching a lot....

Can't believe I said baby dancing. The lows I have reached. [hsad]

I'm reporting you for that pickled

I was repeatedly asked to start another thead and now I'm being repeatedly reported for staring a thread about a thread!

I get some of you don't like the title it was not deliberately provocative but I guess I'm bound to skew things towards my view however hard I try to summarise fairly. Which I did try to do.

Most people here are actually agreeing with the view on the other thread, Polar Bear seem to be the lone voice this time, and yet still the majority feel they've been hard done by.

I'd did not compare Beardy to JS, I said his tone was like a DJ from Radio 1 in the 1970s which I explained, not backtracked, was a reference to the culture of sexual jokes about women which if they objected to they were accused of being humourless. Maybe it was the 80s, not sure, Liz Kershaw talked about it.

Hi Ohsiena and sorry for getting your name wrong this morning.

I hid the thread when I said I would, immediately I'd posted and have not been back so I don't know what has transpired since then - apart from a few vague updates I've got from reading the 'sweary' thread I found today, where a lot of the posters I was arguing with last night seem to hang out.

just wanted to say, I hope you don't think badly of me for staying away from it. I'm going to read this now x

Not not badly at all Ed Your are very wise in fact, much wiser than me!

Try not to get dragged in again, I think this thead will only really be interesting if new posters come and offer views, otherwise it's the same old rehashing of personal gripes between those of us on the other thread. Which seems a bit pointless.

There are plenty of new posters on here osh.

If you didn't want the old thread and posters dragged in it wasn't a good idea to reference and link it.

And I said I wasn't going to comment on it. Look at me!

Anyway it's not been so bad, you have a few new viewpoints, and in the interest of fairness it was necessary to include the context.

What I am getting from this is that some other people don't like the term either, but there dosent seem to be much support for the view that it would be any less offensive to those that don't like it coming from a woman either.

And ed, I'm going to respect your wishes about not engaging with you, but it's bad form to refuse to engage with people yet reference them in your posts.

Just pointing that out.

No no joyfulpuddlejumper, you are just what the thread needs. More just like you, and less like me, Ed and a bunch of others who've done this to death between us.

Can we just make clear the difference between a view and a feeling? I don't think any of us can really dictate what is offensive, what 'should' be offensive and what other people ought to find offensive.

I think all anyone can do is say that they feel offended by certain things, or by certain people saying them, whether or not they are able to articulate why.

There is an episode of the TV show scrubs where a male character realises he enjoys having sex when his wife is annoyed with him so deliberately makes her angry in order to benefit from angry sex (not fucking in this context as its an early evening TV programme!)
The post that has kicked all this off simply said that an incredible hulk dildo would be used for angry fucking. Not that it would be used by a man angrily fucking a woman. It could be a woman angrily fucking c man, a woman angrily fucking another woman, a man angrily fucking another man, a goat angrily fucking a badger, a made-up marvel comic book character angrily fucking another made up marvel comic book character....
If you find the phrase offensive then fair enough. It contains a rude word and the suggestion that sex can be things other than lovey dovey and fluffy and either or both those things may upset people
But a gender neutral comment possibly suggesting sexual aggression but not commenting on the genders (or even species!) involved has become a feminist issue because it was posted on a predominantly female forum by someone with a male sounding user name
If you are allowed to be offended by the phrase angry fucking I am allowed to be offended by the sexism displayed by those of you who think a phrase which does not at any point say its about men v women is a feminist issue just because of who said it

SHRIIIEEEKPoolingBearBlood
"I'm going to fuck you/I enjoy fucking you" - I can't imagine that being said in anything other than a nasty way, ranging from slightly controlling to downright sinister.

I've certainly had both of the above said to me.
No, I'm not gay.
They were said by women, and certainly not in a nasty way.

Maybe it's an imagination issue.

Op I apologise that the thread has been reported. I was not in anyway trying to cause trouble asking you to start a new one I simply wanted to open the forum up.

I have also posted that it was 'agreed' as such that you did this however some have still reported you so apologies for this as I did encourage you.

Where did I ask you not to engage with me, Pickled? Sorry, I must have forgotten if I have done so.

Thing is osh this is why I suggested a new thread in the first place.

The op just rehashes the old thread, and I think it's been reported so won't even be around for long.

It's clearly Whinyarse Week again. Not only are they scurrying all over the boards looking for something to give themselves the screaming shits about, but then they're starting new threads just to go 'Waaah! Make MN change so No-one Is Ever Allowed To Disagree With Meeeeeee!'

I think it's a MRA conspiracy to convince people that 'feminists' are all humourless, officious twats who have given up worrying about equal pay or reproductive rights in favour of stopping anyone telling jokes.

Thanks for that fairies

" Maybe it's an imagination issue."
I maybe am easily offended today but that just seems like a dig.
Do you know what I find amusing. If I typed simply "fuck you" I'd be deleted so fast the ink wouldn't dry on the server.

If the post had said something along the lines of 'your husband would use the incredible hulk dildo on you when you had made him angry' it would be a different post. It may be less obviously offensive because it didn't contain rude words but the implication of sexual violence by men against women is clear. But that's not what it said. Women being angrily fucked by men could be thought of as a feminist thing but the phrase angry fucking in itself can't be as there is on suggestion in that phrase that implies that it even involves women

I'm actually less offended by the term angry fucking than the other two:

• that if you don't like the word fuck you must prefer baby dancing
• that I lack imagination

I must have got out of the sensitive side of the bed this morning.

I don't think you are being sensitive Shriek and I agree with you, they are digs. I also think that context is important and that includes the person making the comment.

SHRIIIEEEKPoolingBearBlood it's not a dig, but tbh it's a bit odd that you can't imagine any circumstance where "I enjoy fucking you" might not be said in a menacing manner.

Two young folk, out in the woods, dappled sunshine playing over them. Slowly moving, the girl on top smiles down at her beau and says "I enjoy fucking you..."

I must have got out of the sensitive side of the bed this morning. Sorry if that's the case. Tomorrow will be a new day.

Ok. I can imagine that, thanks for the graphic and patronising description, but it doent sound very likely to me. I accept I lack imagination though. She could in that case say "i want to rape you" having come out ofbthe same dappled wood and with the loving smile on her face. Wouldn't make the words coming out of her mouth any less aggressive.

lol at OneMoreChap - you should start writing a book.

When i was 16 the first man i ever slept with i started it by saying "I really want to fuck you, i mean it i really want to fuck you" and i did. I didnt know him but i wanted to get physical with him. The word fuck is not aggresive it just means sex with out feelings or a priouse relationship to me.