Taking AN ADULT child with a disability to a brothel

[DowagersHump]

They are talking about this on Women's Hour now. I wonder if parents with a daughter feel that she needs to be taken to a sex worker? Or is it only male children that 'need' sex?

nochildshould be taken to a sex worker, disabled ornot,maleor female, it'san abuse of childhood!

wwwWHHHHHAAAAAT??!!!

What? Do you mean parents of adults?

Still not right

Sorry - I didn't mean children as such! They are adult children

ffs is there not going to be anyone on there challenging this shit?

I think the OP needs to stop reading the sun and or the Mail, her headline would make them both proud.

YY, without a doubt, this is related to male entitlement to sex, and to access to women's bodies. There may be nuances around disability, but entitlement is at the heart of it.

Yes, i think it is talking about adult children.

And I don't think I will stay on here as I can't imagine that this thread will end up with anything other than distressing comments about my near adult male son - although I accept most subjects are covered well in this section.

Fwiw. No. Of course not. Although his desire for physical closeness is apparent and the fact that he will never have a loving physical relationship because of his autism is very sad for him. As I expect it would be for a dd with the same disability.

I don't read either of those Leith, sorry to disappoint. Am trying (and failing, clearly!) to multitask.

I will ask MN to amend the title asap

Pagwatch - I don't want this to descend into attacks on adult people with disability. I hope it doesn't.

Doweger, your very nice apology is accepted.

Pagwatch, why do you say it is Sad for him, and not yourself? Do you not wish for a society that would allow your son, or daughter with any kind of physicle or emtional impairement to have the kind of relationship you enjoy?

Pagwatch I watched a programme recently about dating introductions for people with a disability. I wasn't going to watch it, but I thought it was quite sensitively done. I think there was somebody with autism on it.

Its weird that many parents go to great lengths to avoid daughters with learning difficulties having sexual relationships because of the risk of pregnancy, STDs and exploitaiton.

My son is only 7 (with special needs), I worry about what he will feel as a teenager and adult, but my concerns are about whether or not he will be able to form a meaningful friendship/relationship. Sex is not that in important in the grand scheme of things. Companionship and not feeling lonely is more so.

timetoask. If your son was to grow up and as an adult you found out that he had paid a male or female sexowrker becouse he said exactly what you just did, that he was lonely, felt unloved, was trying to find his own answers to how important sex is, what kind of response would you give him.

I think sex does matter. But I don't think exploiting women is acceptable and being disabled does not excuse exploitation.

Leithlurker
I am not sure I understand your question.
I was posting about my son. My sadness about his future life was not the point of my posting. I am not sure I am obliged to cover all my own emotional bases to meet other peoples expectations. If you want to ask how I feel about it by all means do but it sounded a tad like you were rather telling me how I should feel.

I saw that advertised Marysa but didn't watch. Ds2 is so severely impaired this woukd not be an option for him tbh.

Leithlurker: In answer to your question, I would feel disappointed. I don't believe in paying for sex. I wouldn't want a daughter, son, nephew, niece to work in that industry, therefore I would never condone using someone who works in that industry.

Disability does not make the using of women's bodies for sex into an acceptable thing. That is all.

EatsBrains: Exploitative to pay for sex is indeed the case and is not condonable in any case. I object though to the language of entitlement, there seems a thread that runs through many of the threads that have disabled people and sex, that assumes disabled people should not be entitled to sex.

I have yet to come across any disabled person that feels they have some kind of right to have sex, let alone access to other peoples bodies. This is particularly offensive as by and large people with impairments have to give up privacy, and are expected to give access to their own bodies to all manner of people some of which are intent on causing pain and discomfort even though it is therapeutic. My point is that the language often used in these discussions only serves to reduce the individual back to their medical status rather than their social status.

If we were to say that no woman should expect to have an orgasm, or that LGBT people should not expect to have sex, it would be deemed that those groups would be forced to miss out on an important part of being human, or that they should be willing to just forget that other people are having an experience as a person that they cannot have.

So no I AM NOT CONDONING USING PROSTITUTES, I am asking that people address the underlying issue of how some humans find a way of having the same life experience as others. The reason they are denied this life experience is more about society and it's distorted view rather than any notion of life being fare.

Nobody is entitled to sex. Of course if they want it, I would like everyone to have a healthy sex life. And I have come across severely disabled men who think they are entitled to use prostitutes or similar to get sex - never women though. I wonder why that is?

Pagwatch: I am sorry if my post sounded as if I wanted to put words in your mouth or on the screen even. I was surprised really that you were just sad that your son was going to have a part of his humanity denied him. I would argue that not using prostitutes is absolutely the bottom line, but that does not rule out other avenues or other ways that society can facilitate this part of your son's life. So from that perspective I was asking you to comment on those aspects, you had already opened the door to my question by stating you were sad.

And why should LGB people expect to have sex? I am a lesbian, I don't think I am entitled to sex. I hope I will get it, but entitled, no.

And I have met a couple of severely disabled men who have able bodied female long term partners. I am not disputing for many severely disabled people who can not have sex without physical help, it is very difficult to get a sexual partner - but not totally impossible.

It had a very unfortunate title which put me off. Which was a shame. The programme featured a lot of doing things together and talking to each other and companionship and not on sex at all. I am sorry to hear about your son Pagwatch. It is a really hard situation. I know people with a young adult son facing similar.