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Original poster

Vile vile Ann Summers product

999 replies

Dillytante · 20/03/2012 22:51

Apologies if there has already been a thread on this.

Bj strap

I actually don't know what to say about this.

This thread is years old and inactive. If you've found this page in search of Ann Summers products that have been tried and tested by fellow Mumsnet users, you might find our guide to the best Ann Summers sex toys useful. Hope this helps! MNHQ 💐

OP posts:
Beachcomber · 22/03/2012 20:01

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Overton_window

Diamondgirls · 22/03/2012 20:04

It might be horrible but no one is forcing you to buy it or use it? I don't see the big deal?

ClothesOfSand · 22/03/2012 20:07

I object to Ann Summers in general, WW. Although they do seem to have become less extreme since their earlier days when the ASA banned their window ads for being harmful to children.

Beachcomber · 22/03/2012 20:11

WidowWadman my view on consent is entirely consistent.

You used rape/consensual penetration, as an example, and I think it is a good one, because it is something we can all understand as it is within the realms of our experience, in a way that BDSM may not be.

If my partner penetrates me and I consent to that act, we have sex.

If my partner penetrates me and I don't consent to that act, he has raped me.

Consent, quite obviously, matters.

The actual physical act of penetration remains the same act however. As I said above, it is the experience and sensations surrounding the act which change. And change they do quite radically. I think we probably agree on that.

It is exactly the same with BDSM. I don't see why me stating the obvious like that bothers you so much.

With BDSM, people get off on being abused/abusing others. That is the whole point of it.

LeBOF · 22/03/2012 20:14

Have you read past the OP, Diamondgirls? Because people have been explaining why for quite some time now.

SigmundFraude · 22/03/2012 20:15

Thanks for the link. I'm not planning to expand my overton window anytime soon.

Starwisher · 22/03/2012 20:15

I don't really think you have strong argument clothes

If you said I enjoy visiting ann summers and i want to enjoy Ann summers still without this mask ruining it for me, I would understand your point

Seeing as you don't go there anyway then it's all a bit of a non starter, as you wouldn't be confronted by it anyway

ClothesOfSand · 22/03/2012 20:21

I think I've put forward a number of different arguments, SW, only the latest one was about where I personally want to go and what I personally want to see.

Clearly what is and is not sold on the high street when it comes to sexual material is a pretty strong argument, as it is the basis of the law when it comes to sex shops. Ann Summers is allowed to operate without a license and allow people of all ages into its stores because it sells a fairly restricted range of items. That would seem to be why this item isn't available in store. If they want to sell more extreme items in their stores than they have to apply for a license and set up under the same conditions as any other sex shop.

But presumably you don't agree with the law and that the restrictions on sex shops should be weakened? Unless perhaps you think that Ann Summers should be exempt from the law on the basis that it is a bigger organisation than most sex shops?

Starwisher · 22/03/2012 20:26

You said

b. I am on the high street, as are people like me, and I don't want to see women being sexualised and/or portrayed as submissive.

So I assumed you must go in there which is why I made no comment

But seeing as you dont go in there you won't be exposed to these images

Why on earth you have presumed another random argument I'm not quite sure!

HmmThinkingAboutIt · 22/03/2012 20:28

ClothesOfSand, Children are not allowed in the back section of Anne Summers though. I just think you expose yourself as being completely ignorant about the shop by your comment about children going in there.

They certainly do not put any sex toys in the window as they are not allowed to as you rightly point out. In fact what you see in the window of Anne Summers will never be worse than what you see on the shelves of WHSmith these days - for both mens' and womens' magazines. But its a sex shop. Its BADDER. Hmm yeah ok.

You have said, you don't want a BDSM shop on your High Street, you don't even want AS there - if that isn't NIMBY what the hell is?! I really don't get how you see a difference! I'm amused at your logic.

If a man presents his girlfriend with something from Ann Summers, it has a rather different sense of normality that is he presents her with something from BDSM-r-us.

AliceHurled. But you aren't talking BDSM-r-s though are you? Lovehoney is a nice shiny brand that is pretty respectable these days.

ClothesOfSand · 22/03/2012 20:30

I was responding to another poster, in a discussion more generally about where people pick up influences about sex. I was not talking about one particular Ann summers product at that particular point in the thread, but about sexualised imagery in general in public spaces.

ClothesOfSand · 22/03/2012 20:36

But all sex shops could say, we are going to have more extreme material, we will just put it in a room at the back, so that people under 18 cannot see it. The law says that is not acceptable. Shops selling certain items must have a license so that people under 18 do not enter the shop at all. Ann Summers abides by this by selling certain items on its website only.

NIMBYism is about refusing to have certain essential services built in your local area, even though you know they must be built somewhere else if you don't have them by you - wind turbines or a homelessness shelter. It does not mean objecting to commerical ventures which do not actually need to exist at all in any area.

And yes, I agree that what is on the shelves of newsagents is a bigger issue than Ann Summers.

AsCorruptAsWhisky · 22/03/2012 20:51

But if certain items are only sold on the internet, such as this, what is the issue with it being on the high street? It's seems to me that your argument is getting confused.

AliceHurled · 22/03/2012 20:55

HmmThinkingAboutIt - Where am I talking about Lovehoney? I think you've mistaken me for another poster. BDSM is being normalised by more than just Ann Summers. That is problematic be it Ann Summers, Lovehoney, MTV, Nuts, whatever. I'm not picky. BDSM-r-us doesn't normalise it.

RabidEchidna · 22/03/2012 20:58

I would not waste money on that, a curtain tie back would work just as well Grin

Goawaybob · 22/03/2012 21:10

"If I punch you in the face because you ask me too and you like it, I'm still punching you in the face. Non?

It may be a lovingly received consensual pleasurable punch in the face, but it is still a punch in the face."

I am into BDSM, my DP isn't quite so keen as i am, but he indulges me - i can promise you i have never ever wanted to be punched in the face, that is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard in my life. If my DP punched me in the face that would not be bdsm, that would be abuse!

For most, bdsm is about TRUST and heightened experience. I like to be whipped - its difficult to explain, but done properly, and to be fair we have only ever managed this twice it can give a high better than any orgasm, it really is beyond description, it starts off with gentle taps, carefully built up to really quite hard, i can't say it has ever really hurt me, it would hurt if it was just done straight off, in fact it would be horrible, and id probably retaliate by impulse but with a slow build up the endorphin rush is out of this world. As i said, this is difficult to achieve and usually our "play" only gets as far as a few taps and it isn't working for me, so we stop. We don't have a safe word, we use stop! We use a leather flogger to do this, nothing extreme.

This is not abuse, this is always instigated by me, its MY fantasy not DPs, our relationship is good. It has had its bad patches, we certainly didn't do any bdsm during that time, it wouldnt have felt right. We don't do it very often, but it is an important aspect of my life. I have anxiety, it helps, strangely.

The item sold by Anne summers is not something i have ever seen on bdsm sites, where you can buy all manner of things. I don't really think its a bdsm item and i actually don't like it. Its contrived and a bit naff, but then i wouldnt dream of using pink fluffy handcuffs either.

AsCorruptAsWhisky · 22/03/2012 21:18

Punching someone in the face causes a lot more damage than gagging on your dp's cock.

Bob's dp isn't quite so keen as she (he?) is, but that doesn't make her abusive. An ex-girlfriend of mine was a lot more into this - she liked to be whipped and to whip. I was perfectly happy to oblige - it definitely didn't turn me on to the extent that it turned her on, but I got some stimulation out of it and I enjoyed seeing her turned on. I would never consider her whipping me abuse. As long as you know when to say stop - I drew the line at ball gags and chastity belts.

And, as Bob says, this is tame compared to other things that you can buy.

Goawaybob · 22/03/2012 21:24

I'm a she! And i like to receive, i did tie my DP to the bed once but coudlnt bring myself to whack him :)

Beachcomber · 22/03/2012 21:27

And the difference between being punched in the face (consensually) and being whipped (consensually) is what exactly?

I'm guessing it is that people get off on it.

That doesn't change the fact that it is physical abuse.

Anyway, I'm not really expecting people to agree with me so perhaps we should leave it. This thread isn't really about that and I don't wish to derail it into an analysis of BDSM.

AsCorruptAsWhisky · 22/03/2012 21:32

Whipping, when done correctly, does not cause anywhere near as much damage. Let's leave it at that.

Goawaybob · 22/03/2012 21:38

I just think that is a non argument though. It is just a ridiculous comparison.

I tried to explain it, you don't want to listen.

I thought this thread was about bdsm and that was why people were objecting to the bj strap. I said that the bj strap is shite and has nothing to do with bdsm.

Missielovelie · 22/03/2012 21:43

That is a totally degrading product to women, i bet a man came up with the idea for this product.

SinicalSanta · 22/03/2012 21:48

I hope Beachcomber doesn't mind if I speak for her on this one - She didn't compare a punch to BDSM, she was making the point that consent, or lack of it, doesn't change the nature of the act. Whipping would work just as well - it's still being lashed, whether you consent or not.

Goawaybob · 22/03/2012 21:55

It absolutely would not, consent is paramount, its about frame of mind, it is not very often i am in that frame of mind, if my husband were to do it when i wasn't i would hate it as much as you would.

Consent absolutely changes the nature of the act.

Penetration with consent = pleasure, love etc etc

Petetration without consent = rape, discomfort, pain probably

Same act, changed by consent or lack of it

Goawaybob · 22/03/2012 21:57

To compare a punch in the face is daft too, that would cause damage consent or no consent. I have never been damaged by a whipping, ever