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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

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Original poster

not sure what to title this but it's to do with ejaculation

490 replies

YuleingFanjo · 15/02/2012 10:59

and in particular a man ejaculating on a woman's face. Sorry - I feel awful writing it down.

I was talking to a friend last night, she is much nore sexually adventurous than I am and she was saying that she thought it was part of normal sexual behaviour, that most men found it a turn on and most people she knew thought it was normal.

I argued that it was something that came from porn, was not what I would call normal and there was no equivilant sexual 'thing' for a woman to do to a man. She said that women can 'gush' (I have never done this, maybe I am abnormal) or piss or poo (!) which I pointed out was a totally different thing. But is it?

I was trying to discuss it with her and point out that her sexual encounters are out of the norm, definitely aren't encounters within a loving relationship, and that ejaculating in someones's face is surely more about disrespect than anything else?

or am I wrong. I just find it really horrible and if anyone asked me to let them do so I would show them the door.

Soory - I hope I don't sound like some hairy trucker trying to get off on the whole thing, and I am not asking for personal experiences (I would prefer not to read them thanks) but more to discuss if I am right about the power/porn/disrespect thing...

OP posts:
Charbon · 18/02/2012 00:04

widow I don't think anyone professing to like this on the thread explained why just that they do and I wondered whether you had discussed this with your friends at all.

Given my earlier post about the timeline of this, I've heard nothing to persuade me that this isn't rooted in porn, but I don't think anyone's saying it's only men who propose it. I'm interested in what erotic benefit women derive from it though, or what's motivating them to suggest it first.

Original poster
YuleingFanjo · 18/02/2012 00:04

"Why don't you ask them directly why they like it, rather than theorising about it as an outsider who doesn't like it? "

I did, the poster I asked said they thought I was asking them to justify themselves. If women won't or don't want to talk about why they like it then I am not going to force them to.

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 18/02/2012 00:06

jizz/don't jizz

I still ask the question, and I think Beachcomber did too

what might have taken people's eye off the ball < ahem > is the over-sharing of other women's bedroom antics, which is off putting at worst, and totally besides-the-point at best

are there no men on the thread ?

Original poster
YuleingFanjo · 18/02/2012 00:06

"The OP questioned her friend why she would do it"

no - I qustioned my friend about why she believed it was 'the norm' in sex and if perhaps the kind of sex she was having made her think it was normal but perhaps her perception was off. I didn't askk her why she liked it. we have not had that conversation.

OP posts:
Original poster
YuleingFanjo · 18/02/2012 00:08

I also said in my OP "and I am not asking for personal experiences (I would prefer not to read them thanks) "

OP posts:
Beachcomber · 18/02/2012 00:09

WW I beg to differ.

We not only asked the question, but answered it.

Keep up!

I and my ilk are not against jizzing. We just reserve the right to be analytical of it.

WidowWadman · 18/02/2012 00:13

And why didn't you? Might have been more enlightening than a bunch of strangers theorising. (And oversharing of course)

As an aside - I wonder whether it's also a wider cultural thing aside from female/male dynamics - as in, as a German, I find the overall attitude to sex in Britain weird - it's either being ridiculed or talked about in very negative terms, and overall it's all pretty taboo.

Would a feminist from the continent look at it in a different way? I've been living here longer than I've been interested in feminism, so didn't have these discussions over there really, but the general attitude to sex and talking about it seemed/seems much more open than over here.

Beachcomber · 18/02/2012 00:17

Gosh , yes. Thought about this earlier, but forgot to highlight, that the OP was most adamant that there was no intent to solicitate personal anecdotes.

I know, not what we are used to under patriarchy. !!

AnyFucker · 18/02/2012 00:18

That's a different thread, WW, and an interesting one

Perhaps start a new discussion ?

Original poster
YuleingFanjo · 18/02/2012 00:18

because I don't, or didn't, particularly want to know why she enjoyed it. If I wanted to know I would have started a thread called 'why do you enjoy men ejaculating on your face' which clearly I didn't do.

you want me to ask a question I didn't want to ask to fit your idea of what you think I need to know? Not only that but I am also beong told I should have asked it on a diferent part of the forum.

OP posts:
Charbon · 18/02/2012 00:27

You say you wonder whether 'it's' a cultural thing widow. What's the 'it'?

WidowWadman · 18/02/2012 00:35

"it" = attitude to sex

Charbon · 18/02/2012 00:43

I don't want to put words in your mouth widow but I'm wondering why you are querying people's attitudes and openness about sex, when we were discussing one specific act? Are you equating people's analysis of the origins of a discrete sexual practice, with a repressed attitude to sex? If so, can you explain why there is that conflation?

TBE · 18/02/2012 00:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FrothyDragon · 18/02/2012 00:57

Can you really "overshare" on a board where no one knows truly who they're speaking to? I mean, apart from the "outing yourself" element, but that's not the discussion.

The patriarchy doesn't like women talking about sex. I mean, god forbid, a large number of us might say "actually, can we stop normalising porn, because it's bloody well degrading and damaging to women?". Or, y'know, "no, we don't all secretly like it up the arse." Our conversations, as far as the patriarchy are concerned, should be restricted to how good our current partners are in bed, how shit our ex partners were in comparison, and y'know. General male ego stroking.

I mean, hell, even our reproductive rights are decided by men.

As for the "jizzing on the face" malarkey. It's a dominance thing, isn't it? I mean, us women should be kept in our places, right? Sorry, going to have to go back and re-read, see what's been covered.

AnyFucker · 18/02/2012 00:58

frothy, don't forget your jizz-helmet Wink

FrothyDragon · 18/02/2012 01:01

The fuck am I getting chlamydia in the eye... doesn't care how much I love the guy...

TBE · 18/02/2012 01:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FrothyDragon · 18/02/2012 01:06

Can you put a little Dragon on the background? I want everyone to know it's my doing.

AnyFucker · 18/02/2012 01:08

now, now Froths, what's a mere std compared to your maaaan demonstrating his dominance of you ?

jizz in the eye...it's worth it's weight in gold, isn't it ?

TBE · 18/02/2012 01:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AnyFucker · 18/02/2012 01:12

"Cash in your jizz"...it's got a catchy ring to it

AnyFucker · 18/02/2012 01:14

oo, I love badges, TBE

FrothyDragon · 18/02/2012 01:15

Good point...

oooh, TBE, can you correct my grammar error on the badge, please?

TBE · 18/02/2012 01:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.