Working mum. SAHDad. Support?

[BlingLoving]

Not sure where to put this, but figure that ultimately, a working mum and a stay at home dad is a feminist issue, or perhaps the result of feminism? Anyway, I realise that while DH is currently not getting much support, there are support options out there ? 1000s of blogs written by men in his situation; every SAHM we know taking him under their wing; other men who he will eventually get to recognise and know while he?s out and about with DS. But I don?t know any other working mums with SAHDs. Not one. And so I don?t know who to talk to.

So? does anyone a) know of any resources for me or b) want to join me in a general chat about what it feels like and what works and doesn?t work?

Bling- this is how I feel too- that DS is fine but I want to see him more. That seems to be a hard thing to say and sometimes for others to understand.

I'm sure you've probably already thought of this, but would your work consider a flexible/ partly home working arrangement? I can do this sometimes and it makes things somewhat more bearable.

For a year after my maternity leave with ds dh stayed at home with him whilst I went to work. People told me all the time how lucky I was. It was such hard work. Dh found it impossible to break into the mum's networks - a good friend of mine said she couldn't ask him to do things as her partner wouldn't like it and I presume others felt the same way. He was depressed and found being with ds very hard work. To compensate I found myself doing everything outside work, getting up early, leaving work promptly and doing most of the Childcare at the weekends so he could have a break, but also so I could see ds - it just wouldn't have worked for us to have 'equal time off' as then I would have seen ds even less. It was such a relief after a year when dh got a job and we started to pay for childcare. Now I feel no guilt about being at work and we can split things at the weekends. For us, having a sahp was much much harder than using childcare. I also found no one to talk to and everyone told me constantly what a great dad dh was and how lucky I was. In fact I even posted on mumsnet and was told to stop whinging, so I feel your frustration!

chocolatecrispies - yes yes yes! Couldn't agree more. Glad you've found a better arrangement that works for you both.