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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Wellbeing Thread - who's in?

543 replies

AnonWasAWoman · 01/11/2011 13:29

This is a sort of ?gap in the market? thread really, forgive the rotten title. I was thinking about women and wellbeing and a possible feminist slant on what I feel the beauty industry has colonised.

If I try to find a threads, or a magazine articles, about women?s wellbeing and health I can guarantee half of them will be written in what comes across to me as doublethink: ?you need to feel good about your body, so first you must wage war upon it for a woman?s body is naturally hideously ugly!?. This just makes me sad. So do diluted versions ? the kind of discussions or groups where participants begin with a focus on health, but gradually shift to ?what can you do to look good?, which ? well, just makes me feel ugly if I don?t do those things (And, ah, angry that some people think women should have to!).

It really worries me how, as women, health and beauty are constantly conflated, and there?s an ever-increasing list of treatments that begin as luxurious pampering, then quickly come to be essential ?maintenance? or even basic ?hygiene?. It?s taken that a sign of healthy self-confidence and body confidence is to buy into these ideas about what to do with our time and money and bodies. I?m sure there?s a spectrum of views among feminists as to what we feel is right for us and what?s not, and I don?t want to get into that because I think it?s the least interesting bit of the debate. So I?m not trying to start yet another ?do you wax your fanjo fur? thread ? interesting as they are ?!

I am sure there is a way to resist gendered body care/products without in any way denigrating or ignoring the female body. I bet some of you are brilliant at this and the Resisting Femininity threads were great for showing me the way. But I also want to replace the things I?m resisting, not just get rid of all focus on my body. My mum can as close as can be to this ? everything ?gendered? for women?s bodies, from women?s anti-perspirant, to shaving equipment, to perfume and cosmetics, came under the same heading of ?disgusting things?. In retrospect I find this quite disturbing and not remotely feminist. I am sure I would have been a happier and better-adjusted teenager if I?d not had to sneak off to buy deodorant and nick my dad?s used disposables (I didn?t know any better). If as an adult woman I want to do without any of this stuff, that?s fine ? but I certainly don?t want to feel it?s the only option, or that being a feminist has to mean focusing on the mind and forgetting about the body.

So what I would like to do is to try to hammer out a sense of what you do (if anything) to replace or contrast with what we?re offered by society in terms of caring for your body. So I thought maybe it?d be nice to have a sort of wellbeing thread on here, where we can do all the healthy stuff you hope for on a ?diet? thread (and don?t IME get), and we can do all the ?taking time for myself? stuff that the beauty industry has colonised and distorted, but we can also maybe chat about how to feel better about our bodies, instead of how to make them look better.

So, here?s my list (some, obviously, drawn from a certain S&B thread!). They?re what I?ll hope to do, not what I promise to do! Grin

  • I?m going to try to go for a walk at least twice a week, even if it?s just half an hour. And I?m going to take my camera so I don?t end up thinking about work the whole time!
  • I?m going to try to eat two different kinds of fruit/veg (I get stuck on apples galore)
  • I?ll try to cut my coffee intake
  • I?ll try to take 15 minutes before I go to bed to think about something that is not work, or chatting on MN (!), or planning food shopping or whatever
  • I?m going to try to make proper breakfast every day
  • Go to bed early one night per week
  • Ration my (awful) snickers habit! I have eaten three snickers ice-cream bars this morning and it is Not good.
  • (You can laugh here) I?m going to do some pelvic floor exercises every week ? I always forget and I imagine I?ll be glad of them later on!

Please add in suggestions if you have them or say if you think I ought to change my mind about any of these.

OP posts:
MarionCole · 01/11/2011 13:33

I like this idea.

I want to lose 2 stone before I'm 40 (next March) and I get feminist angst when I wonder why I want to do this.

I want to look and feel 'healthy', I don't want to feel like my clothes are too tight, I want to be able to go for a run without wheezing.

I will come up with my list and report back.

AnonWasAWoman · 01/11/2011 13:34

Oops. Blush

Believe it or not, I did try to edit that down.

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AnonWasAWoman · 01/11/2011 13:37

Cross-post.

I'm glad you like it! I thought the monster OP might put people off.

I think it is hard, isn't it, to think about weight without getting sucked in to that horrible treadmill of angst/guilt. I bet someone will come along and repeat 'Fat is a Feminist Issue' - and it is! But I too would like to be able to discuss it and think about it from a health point of view.

If I'm honest, I find it incredibly hard to resist the nasty idea that I would be so much happier if I were lighter, because I liked my looks better when I was slimmer. I don't want to push that idea under the carpet just because I know it isn't very feminist - I want to live with it and get to the point where I have rationalized it.

OP posts:
chibi · 01/11/2011 13:39

I am going to keep running/going to the gym at least 3x a week because

it is amazing to feel strong and powerful
My dd and ds see that women are strong and fast
it is good for my mental health

and i owe it to myself not to jack it in because other people need me/dishes need doing/etc etc

AnonWasAWoman · 01/11/2011 13:45

Grin I like it chibi!

What do you do at the gym, if I may ask? I've never done gym stuff except swimming (which I love, it makes me feel great and is so good for muscle aches).

OP posts:
MarionCole · 01/11/2011 13:51

I am going to go to the gym at least once a week (I want to go twice but that won't happen so I may as well set a realistic target!) and Zumba once a week.

I am going to have a piece of fruit every day.

I will walk to pick DS up from school on a Friday (if it's not raining) so we can walk home through the woods.

I'll try to go to bed earlier and read before I go to sleep.

wem · 01/11/2011 13:52

I'm in. As you say chibi, it's about feeling strong. Pre children I did a martial art and I loved feeling properly fit for the first time. My mum had a similar take on feminism, any make up, dieting or exercise for the sake of it was frowned upon.

I can't commit to the same level as I did with the martial art, but I've been playing netball occasionally and really enjoying getting some exercise again, so I will try to get to that more often.

StewieGriffinsMom · 01/11/2011 13:53

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EthelMoorhead · 01/11/2011 13:55

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chibi · 01/11/2011 13:56

I just circuit around, i do some treadmill, x trainer, rowing machine, bike, weights, weight machines, whatever i fancy. I try to do 10 minutes at whatever thing i am doing, and i vary the speed or intensity during the 10 minutes to push myself

it is attached to my workplace so easy (if you want to that is) to carve out half an hour / forty minutes at the end of the day to move my bones around Grin

in summer i can run during the week as it is lighter out. I am an urban runner and running at night is scary from a car perspective! In winter i try to also (in addition to the gym seshes) run 2x at the weekend

I go out for 40 minutes or so, not non stop, i have to walk sometimes, but my area is v hilly so it is tough

some days it is really hard bloody work, but some times i dunno, i can just about feel how it must be to be an athlete at the top of their game, perfectly flesh, perfectly working, all coherent muscle...those times are fucking glorious and the real reason tbh why i run

I started all this a year ago after having been a totally non ayhletic heavy smoker for most of my life, i am so happy i did

I see it as self care, and self love, in the best possible sense

AnonWasAWoman · 01/11/2011 13:56

marion What is Zumba?! My mate talks about it on facebook, but I'm afraid I've no idea! I love the sound of the word though. Grin

Walk through the woods sounds lovely too ... very peaceful.

wem - I think women doing martial arts is such a good thing, isn't it? I know women who do them well and they move with an amazing sort of strong grace. (I notice this sort of thing as I have appalling posture myself).

I have thought of another one - I am going to try to sit down and read some poetry or listen to some usic without doing anything else at the same time.

I think a lot of mine are about not multitasking!

OP posts:
AnonWasAWoman · 01/11/2011 13:59

Sorry, I cross posted.

sgm - yay! Your music thread made me think of my other one I've just added ...

ethel - I would be interested in more awareness too. In fact I think (as with lots of areas of women's health), we're not really taught enough about diet/health that is specifically good for women, and I would like to work out more.

chibi - wow, that sounds amazing! I am far too lazy but I shall see you as an inspiration. Grin

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TenderlyLovinglyByAGoat · 01/11/2011 14:04

think this sums up one of the things I love most about equestrian sports, women and men, old and young compete or participate alongside one another in same high profile and local events and ability and fitness are more important than, I don't know, think of tennis for example

EthelMoorhead · 01/11/2011 14:08

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AnonWasAWoman · 01/11/2011 14:08

I like the sound of that tenderly. I think (though it's not a sport), that's why I love walking as exercise - you meet everyone from serious runners and (near me, because I'm by a river) rowers, through to parents with children running about and elderly couples having a wander. Swimming is good for that too.

I am now going off to make good on my resolutions and get a walk in before it gets dark (ridiculously early!). Smile

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AnonWasAWoman · 01/11/2011 14:09

Ahh, maybe I should look into Aikido then!

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wem · 01/11/2011 14:09

Anon - you're making me miss it even more! I can't wait til my daughters are old enough to start then we can all go together Smile

EthelMoorhead · 01/11/2011 14:11

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stripeybumpinthenight · 01/11/2011 14:18

I'm in!

I will:

Get enough sleep even if it's more than seems normal Grin
Drink more water
Make sure I get some exercise through walking every day of my maternity leave prior to baby appearing
Use body moisturiser more often to make me feel soft, smooth and more comfortable in my huge maternity clothes
Take my make-up off before bed every day to stop spots, wrinkles and generally horrible skin

TheGrassIsJewelled · 01/11/2011 14:19

Great thread. For the 15mins before bed habit, I recommend reading a foreign paper online in a language that isn't your first. From quite a basic level up, you'll understand something and feel proud, and if you have a good level, you maintain some fluency.

TenderlyLovinglyByAGoat · 01/11/2011 14:22

Would be very happy if I could just STOP worrying about whether I am feeling podgy or am actually podgy. Perhaps my goal should be to decide upon an upper and lower weight/BMI number and refuse to indulge myself when agonizing in the middle? Any ideas?

ElderberrySyrup · 01/11/2011 14:24

Drink
Less
Wine.

that's the only really important one for me at the moment.

I may also dig out my Alexander Technique book as well and try to remember what I learnt when I went to lessons.

I will also polish my shoes more, and chuck out my old worn out ones and get a lovely pair of DM shoes even though dh will laugh Smile

Great idea for a thread Anon, it's like the next step from the Resisting Compulsory Femininity threads.

ElderberrySyrup · 01/11/2011 14:26

My '15 mins before bed' thing is spent thinking about patchwork quilts - either looking at pics in Kaffe Fassett or historical quilting books, or going through my fabrics and gloating. It is very calming indeed.

NotJustClassic · 01/11/2011 14:34

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MarionCole · 01/11/2011 14:35

Anon Zumba is just prancing around pretending to dance to latino music. A bit like salsa I think, having never done salsa. I'm always drenched when I finish because it's such hard work, much more so than after a run. I go with friends too so it's quite sociable - good for the mind and body. In general I hate exercise but I actually quite enjoy Zumba, even though I have no sense of rhythm and I'm shockingly bad at it.

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