Facebook supports rape?

[MotherPanda]

Have we a thread on this yet?

www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2011/oct/04/facebook-hate-speech-women-rape?newsfeed=true

I am really shocked.

[TheRhubarb]

I am shocked that most of you think that rapists are in fact, lurking on every street corner.

Do you really think that rapists are no different to the ordinary bloke on the street?

Do you really think that the only reason rapists rape is just because they can?

You know, I get really upset when I hear jokes about how ALL women love shopping, how ALL women own loads of pairs of shoes and how they take an age to get ready etc etc. Because I hate these corny stereotypes. Equally though I also hate it when men are stereotyped as predatory rapists who will get away with most things if they think they can. Because this is NOT my experience at all and I'm sorry if it's yours.

I have a son and believe me, if someone were to make such stereotypes about him I would be the one resorting to violence.

I honestly thought this was about how Elliot had written something that could be mis-read. I didn't think for one minute that she meant it to be read that way or that people would even agree with the sentiment!

[bemybebe]

SGM - phew!

However, by saying that rapists are not "in any way particularly different than the average man in the street" CE does not acknowledge that those "average men" do respect the boundaries and do seek female consent when having intercourse... and that is the crucial difference. Instead she lumps everyone, rapist or not, together...

She should have been more clear. Otherwise I completely agree with her article.

[SardineQueen]

"Rapists do not rape because they can. They rape because they are socially disfunctional (does that sit better?) and cannot perform unless they feel in control and powerful. "

This is abject drivel.

And worse, seems to suggest that a woman cannot be raped by a man who she has previously had consensual sex with. As apparently, in a consensual situation, he would not be able to perform. Did you mean that?

[AyeBelieveInTheHumanityOfMen]

Come on, Rhubarb. You're brighter than this. Put down your rage for a second and at least try and see what is being said here, rather than arguing against what you think is being said.

Rapists are ordinary blokes on the street. But not all ordinary blokes on the street are rapists. I could draw you a Venn diagram if you like?

Oh, and the "do seek female consent thing" - nonsense. Every time there is a thread about consent, even lots of women think that actively seeking consent is somehow beyond the pale.

[TheRhubarb]

"rapists rape because they can get away with it,"
"rapists rape because they can"

Really?
Sorry, must be me, I must be imagining all these quotes.

[TheRhubarb]

SQ - I don't know how you read that into what I said, not even I can do that so well done you!

Come on then, why do rapists rape eh? I don't buy this "because they can" bollocks - you call me uneducated? Why do they rape? Let's have all the theories out.

[bemybebe]

"Rapists are ordinary blokes on the street."

But this is the problem Aye -they are not. They may look like and act like and dress like, but they ARE not.

[TheRhubarb]

My point exactly bemybebe but pretty soon both you and I will be denounced as rape apologists.

[SardineQueen]

What did you mean then when you said they cannot perform unless they feel in control an powerful?

It's nothing to do with "well done me" I feel really upset and don't understand why you said that. What did you mean?

[TheRhubarb]

I didn't just mean in the bedroom SQ - I meant in life. Rapists dominate women and use them to satisfy their own needs. Therefore in life rapists are usually social wankers who like to feel powerful.

[SardineQueen]

So you think that rapists can't perform sexually unless they are dominant and in control, and that they have to be dominant and in control in all aspects of life?

Is that right?

[TheRhubarb]

Huh? Why are you deliberately mis-reading what I write? Who mentioned sexually? No-one but you. Rapists are social wankers who usually take advantage of other situations. A good man does not rape. A man who thinks that rape of any kind and in any form is very very different to the majority of decent men out there.

No he does not have horns or a big sign around his neck saying "rapist wanker", no you might not spot a rapist amongst your group of friends, but to justify rape the man will have a very skewed sense of morality, for whatever reason. Rape is the dominance and violation of a woman and puts the man in full control. From there it stands to reason that control is one of the key issues.

[TheRhubarb]

How about our own partners SGM? Will they do?

How about the average woman on the street? What is she like?

[SardineQueen]

Rhubarb I am not deliberately doing anything, I don't understand what you are saying.

Read what you wrote again ""Rapists do not rape because they can. They rape because they are socially disfunctional (does that sit better?) and cannot perform unless they feel in control and powerful. "

Can you not see how I thought that meant what I thought it meant? Then you said "not just in the bedroom" meaning that you included sex?

I really don't understand and I am trying but I don't get it. I feel very upset inside and I would really like you to explain maybe more simply what you meant? Please?

[SardineQueen]

"Rapists are social wankers who usually take advantage of other situations."

Like this as well what does this mean? How do you know this? If someone has been raped by someone who is not like this then what does that mean?

[jamma111]

Rape in itself is invariably categorised through the relationship between victim and rapist.

Both in the US and UK in 80% of rapes, the victim knew their attacker.

The remainder are 'stranger rapes'.

In the US and UK, profiling of 'stranger' rapists is quite advanced. A summary of such profiles (US-centric) can be found at Forensics Talk.

Profiling aquaintence rape has proved more difficult, but even so some core attributes have been identified in the attackers;

*A propensity toward violence in problem-solving;
*Aggressiveness in intimate relationships; and
*Being overly demanding of partners.

Further discussion on aquaintence rape profiling (once again US-centric) can be found at The National Centre for Victims Of Crime

A key feature of aquaintence rape is the prevelance of alcohol. The above web site quotes with reference to college rapes in the US;

One study found that 75 percent (75%) of the males and 50 percent (50%) of the females involved in college campus acquaintance rapes had been drinking when the sexual assault occurred (Bohmer & Parrot, 1993).

(the quotes can be used if I include this text - Copyright © 2008 by the National Center for Victims of Crime.)

Okay I'm not going to labour the point. The science of profiling stranger rapists is well advanced. The same confidence cannot be applied to aquaintance rapists. Even so though some key elements to distinquish such offenders are coming to light.

[SardineQueen]

What is your point with that post jamma? You say you are labouring the point but you don't say what your point is?

[SardineQueen]

jamma you seem up on your stuff. Does the profiling of acquaintance rapists come from studies on acquaintance rapists who have been convicted to rape?

[SardineQueen]

I am feeling a bit sick here and would be grateful if someone could please clarify exactly what on earth is being said here?