Facebook supports rape?

[MotherPanda]

Have we a thread on this yet?

www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2011/oct/04/facebook-hate-speech-women-rape?newsfeed=true

I am really shocked.

You don't "think". I'm assuming you can speak for every victim, then?

Ok, so let's do away with rape alarms and guidelines and warnings to women. Whilst we are at it, let's not give out advice to homeowners on how to keep their properties safe either.

FFS Dont, we all agree that the only person to blame in the fucking rapist himself. I think we can both share that common ground at least! But it also makes sense to tell people how to protect themselves ffs!

So what the fuck do the victims raped by their partners or friends do? Because those fucking guidlines don't apply!

No Dont I cannot speak for every fucking rape victim, what do you think?
This is getting pathetic now.

Fine. You won't apologise for the things you said.
I won't apologise for calling you a twunt as I believe that saying I don't believe in rape is far fucking worse.

I have explained what my opinions are and why. I have answered your every post. Now I have wasted enough fucking time on you. I think you are the one who thinks you are wholly right and whose answer to everything is to accuse them of siding with the rapist.

This thread is a complete waste of time.

At least 80% of rapes cannot be "prevented" by following those "guidlines".

What the hell do you do when you're in your own bed, at home, in your pyjamas or baggy jeans and a hoody, not giving the lead on. What "guidlines" protect you then?

I find it sexist to assume that a woman can't cajole or persuade or not stop when asked to with either a male or a female partner. The rape issue isn't just about female victims. Gay women can have sex and heterosexual couples aren't just made up of woman taking it from the man. If the idea of rape could be removed from the idea of gender, then the debate about what to do to reduce it would be less taken up with people feeling they have to defend/attack their sex and more about coming up with solutions to the problem of rape as a whole.

LeninGrad, completely agree. Which is what I said earlier, that often men don't display any of these characteristics until it is too late. And even when they do, in cases of domestic abuse, the woman is so ingrained that she does not leave.

Criminal profiling serves to help the police tackle this kind of crime, to alert police officers, social workers and others to behaviour that may be odd. To advise charities and help spread awareness.

It is not there to lay blame on victims. People who believe in criminal profiling do not blame victims. I may think that even acquaintance rapists have common characteristics but that does not mean I blame victims. None of what I have written can be read like that.

I've just been going through the thread reporting the offensive crap directed towards me. Some of it has already been deleted. I've also deleted my own comments (or asked to) that upset SQ and that first link.

I am not a rape apologist. I do not think I am wholly right. I have the right to hold opinions with being abused. I do not blame rape victims. And should anyone accuse me of being a racist I suggest they read my blog.

I am happy to agree to disagree but don't expect me to put up with personal abuse.

If continual consent was brought in and if something had to be inserted for the case to count as rape, then a man could not withdraw consent from the woman who is sitting on top of him while a woman could withdraw it from the man who is inside her.

Deary me - do we think that the high percentage of black men convicted of rape is simply because they fit the bill? I'm losing my confidence in a jury now.

This wasn't clear to me at all before, but now i can easily understand why rape conviction rates are so low. That nice [white] young graduate chap from Cambridge couldn't possibly rape, so the girl must be lying.

Is it really as simple as the man attending court, smiling sweetly and saying that 'she' consented?

Female rapists are rarely in the media (in fact - i've never seen a single article about this). Is it because they rarely happen, or are rarely convicted? Personally I believe there is a lot of shame involved for the victim (as with all rapes) and yet unlike 'traditional' rapes there is very little support for gay or for heterosexual male victims.

The classic pub culture can be seen working against men here (you know - "how can you be raped, wahay Gary got some").

Is it socially acceptable for men to say no to sex, to not want it?

Consent really needs to be defined more clearly.

It is not just 'would you like to have sex'?, 'yes please'

Actively taking part, I think is a big thing. Victims can feel resigned to the rape 'I just let [the rapist] get on with it', Sex should not be something that is done to you.

Does the court recognise this? How do they define consent?

(sorry for the simplistic chat, bloomin' breastfeeding really is a conversation killer)

Panda - that's America for you.

I do think that culture in the UK is significantly different. Our procedures for handling rape cases may need to go much further to improve, but they are still one of the best in the world.

One of the problems I have with saying that men do not know what constitutes rape is that this gives them a convenient excuse. A man who has sex with a drunken girl or a husband who forces himself onto his wife both know that they are doing wrong, that they are violating a person. They may be arrogant enough to think they can get away with it, but that arrogance goes not extend to thinking that they have not done anything illegal.

The UK media, police and campaign groups are pretty good at putting the message across about rape and so really, there is no excuse for ignorance.

As for sleep rape - that case where the husband was acquitted? Just how do you think the victim feels? She was violated yet because he did it in his sleep she just has to live with it? He didn't use a condom so what if she got pregnant or contracted an STD. I don't know enough about sleep rape but I am very cynical and thinking that it gives others the perfect excuse in court.

Oh yes. We're excellent at handling rape cases. Hence the whopping 6% that end in a conviction.

SGM - tough. I am not a troll and I do not perpetuate rape myths.

I'd like to discuss the point of this thread actually.

However, I had no difficulty at all interpreting what the article's author meant. We mustn't regard rapists as somehow "other". A read of the Relationships board shows us that there are men who hold down jobs and are perceived by the outside world and even their partners as all-round good guys, yet they feel entitled to invade a woman in their sleep, or when she is drugged, or to deprive her of sleep while they pester her for hours afther her initial refusal. Two live threads confirm this, yet I doubt that either of the men referred to, would own the accurate title of "rapist"

And the reason they don't own it and their victims have trouble defining it as rape, is precisely because of the prevailing culture that allows hate speech on Facebook and where porn is so normalised in our society. Facebook is especially dangerous, given that the majority of 11-16 year olds have an account, despite the age controls that neither parents nor Facebook, are willing to enforce. These are the pages that kids grow up reading and is why the numbers of "regular guys" who feel entitled to sex with a partner, whether she's willing or not, will increase.