I'm posting this on here because I hope you'll agree with me

[MarionCole]

DSD lives with us. It's her 15th birthday today and her mother has bought her a Ladyshave for her birthday.

This upsets me. DSD was mortified when she opened it. If DSD decides that she wants to conform to the expectation that she should shave her legs, then surely that is for her to decide in her own time?

Or am I being unreasonable?

(I would never actually post this in AIBU because I suspect most MNers would tell me that I was).

Oops, sorry!

As you were.

The thing that doesn't sit quite right with me from the OP is that she says "This has upset me" before she mentions her DSD's reaction. The language she uses in the second paragraph also seems to suggest to me that she is rather disapproving of women who de-fuzz. Of course this could be simply poor communication on the part of the OP or poor interpretation on mine.

I can understand the DSD being "mortified" if it was something she wanted and had maybe even asked her mother for and feared SM's reaction given that she had opened it in front of her. I can understand if she saw it as a judgement from her mother that she has unacceptably hairy legs, especially if she craves her mother's approval. What I don't understand is, if she is happy with/unconcerned about the state of her leg hair, if, like most teenagers, her mother's opinion is of no real importance to her, why she would be "mortified" that her mother sent her a Ladyshave; angry, terribly disappointed, yes, but mortified?

Is there something wrong with being upset your DSD got a razor for her birthday?

I can see two excellent reasons to be upset, personally - firstly, you might be upset the girl's mother didn't get her a very exciting gift, and secondly, you might be upset if you feel it's a sad that women are expected to shave natural body hair. Not saying that's necessarily the OP's position, but if it were, what's wrong with that?

I find it strange rather than "wrong". I just don't understand, "disappointed" I would understand but "upset" seems a bit emotive? She may well feel it's sad that women are expected to shave body hair and that's her prerogative of course, but even feeling sad isn't the same as being upset. I was struck by the fact that she mentioned her own reaction before her DSD's. If she had said, "DSD was mortified and I was so upset for her" I could have understood too but... Ah well, just me probably.

Fair enough. I think it's probably not a big thing - I'd say sad and upset mean pretty much the same, so it may be a language thing.

Marion, just wondering, is your DSD ok now? Did you manage to chat to her about it/why she was mortified?

Yes, a language thing certainly. I tend to think sad is more akin to melancholic and see upset as being a state of some distress.

"Crikey, what's wrong with that? Do you think she should walk around hairy then? How will she ever get a boyfriend if she has hairy legs/armpits. Don't think there are many males around who LIKE hairy women."

Oh dear oh dear. I don't know where to start!