I've got quite a simple question that I just can't answer - why would a woman not be a feminist?

[MarionCole]

Surely everyone wants equality of opportunity, don't they?

Would appreciate the opinions of those feminists far wiser than I.

at Engelbert's example

Erm this IS tangential but don't the police wear black and white?

Well now you are engaging with me Seth so I'm happy :)
In other threads I've tried to discuss these things and I've been told to naff off or basically been told that I don't know what I'm talking about which is essentially naff off in not so many words.

Lol englebert but I don't think what I'm saying is tangential as the question is why would a woman not be a feminist and I'm explaining why I'm not a feminist.

No one called me a brainwashed idiot directly but that's how I was made to feel by lady of the manor's post, as if by recognising that parts of the patriarchy benefit me I am "thanking men." Also the resisting femininity thing is a tough one for me as I like being feminine (although I don't ever shave my legs). Argh I'm all tied up in knots and I'm confusing myself and that's what happens when I try to engage with feminism, it's feels really confusing.

Anyway...

Feminism is so varied - see the post above about pro/anti-abortion e.g. - that it does raise my hackles when people say 'Feminists all behave in X or Y manner'

Course they don't.

Albrecht the experiment was in Ireland where they wear blue and navy

Lol I see I've cross posted with you seth and you've decided not to engage with me, what a surprise.

Ok fair enough!

Writer, lots of feminists on the resisting femininity thread agree with you and don't feel they want to try it, and nobody is judging them for that at all - I think that is why it's been recommended to you, as it's an example of a friendly and tolerant thread where nobody is being pointed at or judged.

Well yes, there are some people on that thread who've felt the need to burst in on a friendly, non-debating thread and rant about how disgusting body hair is.

But they're not the feminists, so they don't count as evidence that "feminist threads are rude and dismissive" etc.

But Stewie, it's not that seth is otherwise occupied, she's actively decided not to engage with me. That's her choice of course.

I already said twice Frosty that I keep encountering this response both on MN and in real life, in fact I predicted it would happen before seth even said anything as it's what always happens.

I used to work with a woman who drove me mad. She firmly believed that there should be no maternity leave (she had no kids, of course). I had to walk away when she was speaking, she made me want to throttle her.

Ok I have a theory (its not much of a theory but its my theory, ha ham...)

Lots of young women are brought up to believe that being polite and ladylike and demure and charming are A VERY GOOD THING.

Feminism allows or sometimes results in women shaking this off and being a bit gobby and sarcastic. I am not saying feminists are rude or thoughtless, just that it gives you permission to speak your mind and some people's minds are louder than others.

That loudness and assertiveness can seem a bit aggressive, especially if you are a bit sensitive (nothing wrong with being sensitive).

I'd say that's fair Frosty. I don't expect everyone to reply to everything I say - I'm not quite that egotistical My problem is that when I post on feminism threads is that whenever someone does engage with me it's usually to tell me that they don't intend to engage with me any more, like seth did. That's where my issue lies.

I can see what you're saying Albrecht but I don't find that to be true at all. I've often tried to get into a debate with feminists both here and in real life and all I've ever gotten is a sort of shutting down, a refusal to engage which really surprises me as I've always expected feminists to be quite opinionated and willing to express that opinion. But no, I usually get "I'm not talking to you, go and read a book," which I find oddly passive aggressive.