I've got quite a simple question that I just can't answer - why would a woman not be a feminist?

[MarionCole]

Surely everyone wants equality of opportunity, don't they?

Would appreciate the opinions of those feminists far wiser than I.

Is it because you are trying to get feminists to defend their viewpoint whilst they are trying to get you to defend yours, WoD?

Fair enough Engelbert but don't you think the title of this thread is likely to provoke debate?

I don't really get your question AyeRobot sorry can you rephrase it?

Well I think it's something to do with feminists being man-haters and unattractive to men. Usually why females distance themselves from it.

The idea of!

Not that it is man hating etc

Hi Marsha, have you read the thread?

I'm very amused that WriterofDreams has had that advice more than once, it's not just me then

I wonder if she has ever thought 'hmm, that is what more than one person has said to me, maybe I should try and do it and see what happens.'

No I haven't. I'm not saying I agree with it btw just I've heard it uttered.

Sorry I thought you were suggesting that it was true

(Man hating has been dealt with)

Ha well done for asking politely then

What I mean is, posters often come on here to challenge feminists and then get very hacked off when they are asked to defend their own point of view. You do realise that in every other sphere, feminists have to justify their viewpoint at every turn? Is it too much to ask that this space is one where the tables are turned?

When I read this board, what i see is exploration rather than rejection. You see it the other way around, it seems. Why do you think that might be?

Seth I think it must be because I'm having a bad day but the way you talked about me in the third person made me cry. Silly eh? It's all I ever get from the feminism section, a sort of bitchy bullying when I never really say anything to warrant it. I normally enjoy your posts and I never wanted to get your back up, honestly. I hope to chat you again in another thread but I'm leaving this one now as I'm not able for it.

It's pity feminism can't have a new name. To me anything with 'ISM' at the end conjures up images of extreme views and intolerance. Well all the ISM's I can think of anyway.

I don't think feminism will ever be taken as seriously as it wants to be simply for that reason. After all we frown upon other ism's don't we; Racism, sexism, national socialism, communism the list goes on and on. I am honestly unable at the moment to think of a way of group thinking that is an ism that isn't negative.
They may well be BUT and this is the important bit. However individual and free thinking I like to think of myself, I'm sure that my knee jerk reaction to a group ending in ism is pretty run of the mill.

Every prism I have ever seen was just awful.

I agree with your thinking about altruism, though. Terrible.

"Lots of young women are brought up to believe that being polite and ladylike and demure and charming are A VERY GOOD THING."

I am sure that's part of the problem.

An equally insidious and possibly more unattractive part, to old gimmers like me, is the culture of tits and arse and raunch that is becoming more mainstream.

Boxes again.

Perhaps we should give up and called ourselves humanists so the anti-feminists and the 'what about the men' types can stop bloody whingeing

phrontistery.info/isms.html

Surely you can't object to all of these, peedoff?

I think threads like this are important because it is a mistake to think that feminism is just what all sane people believe. The mainstream is anti-feminist, and quite naturally and obviously, statistically, the mainstream includes many women as well as men.

There are some people who believe (some) feminist things but don't want to use the word about themselves; don't forget though that there are many, many people who just don't think that women deserve equal treatment with men.

Writerofdreams, what was the bit that made you cry?
why is it / is it different for you to be disagreed with / not engaged with here than on, say, AIBU?

(I feel very happy here by the way - just for the record - so you can all stop worrying )

I'm sorry I made you cry WriterofDreams.

am going to send you a PM - it will be nice, not mean (I promise)

On what vezzie said, I think I just grew up thinking that being a feminist was just something that all sensible people were (and my upbringing was hardly progressive - we got the Sun and the Mail so I am not sure where I got those ideas from). I never really gave any thought to my feminism until was in a group situation where we were all asked 'If you are a feminist put your hand up.' I put up my hand and didn't even think about it, then realised nobody else had. It didn't make me into a laughing stock but I had to defend my position and realised how little I knew. Also, after that, people seemed to make it a bit of a point to challenge me. Ever since then, I have tried to understand more about feminism and the more I look into it the more 'feminist' I become.

On the OP, it reminds me of this sentence I read somewhere that said, something like, 'Feminism's greatest failure has been its failure to attract a mass following.'

I haven't really been able to get it of my head - or answer the question, 'why?' I can only think that it is because feminism has been wrongly portrayed and understood. And, that for various reasons, women do not feel that feminism representst their intrests.

Watching with intrest.