I've got quite a simple question that I just can't answer - why would a woman not be a feminist?

[MarionCole]

Surely everyone wants equality of opportunity, don't they?

Would appreciate the opinions of those feminists far wiser than I.

Some people think (rightly or wrongly) that the way the world is works good and doesn't need to change. Out of ~3 billion females there is bound to be 1.

Ignorance

I have no fecking idea

I have what I thought were perfectly intelligent friends who say things like...'oooh all this equality thing has gone too far'

When I challenge them I find they haven't even considered it properly.

So, it is lack of reasoning and ordered thought. IMO

because some of the inequality is so ingrained they think it's natural and normal and entirely the result of women's choice
some of it, they just haven't run into yet (eg with young women pre-kids who don't know about the discrimination that hits you when you have a family and stop being seen as attractive)
so they think we have equality and there is nothing to worry about.
that is why I think 'The Equality Illusion' was a brilliant title for a book on why we still need feminism.

depends what you mean by not be a feminist, I'm reluctant to describe myself as one because it's something else to not be very good at, instead admiring other people for doing it so well

but at same time couldn't say 'am not a feminist' or pretend the work has been done, as it just so patently has barely begun

Ironically, because men don't like feminism.

oh Mitchy!
it is not something to not be good at, it is about your beliefs, not how good you are at anything.
and it is a journey and people are at different stages in it.

well by good at I suppose I mean how consistent my behaviour is with my beliefs

because they think that being a feminist means wearing dungarees and being a man-hater

Because they think being a feminist involves angry polemic and a narrow focus.They see themselves as unable or unwilling to lead the charge, crushing all opposition in their path.

Going on a personal experience here but although I had feminist opinion I was always told (on here in particular but before there was a specific "feminist" thread) that because of my personal choices I could not possibly be a feminist so I believed them, I thought they obviously new better than me andI was not a feminist and I was 'letting own the side'. It took actually going in the feminist thread once it exist to see that I am indeed a feminist.

sorry for typos, breakfast and MN do not mix too well.

you get a lot of that sort of thing, gorionine.

women who are told that SAHMs can't be feminists, or somesuch. I was told only recently that I couldn't be a feminist as I have 3 children, and apparently having several children is oppressing me. I just shrug and ignore that sort of thing.

I am a feminist, but I also use the 'What about the menz?' argument too often not to be shot down.
I also expect women as adults to be responsible for deciding whether or not to stay in situations that are unacceptable. Which can be controversial.

cognitive dissonance

Fundamentalist religious sects, & even not so fundamentalist ones.

Because in people like my mother's case they feel sort of superior in a martyrish way. 'Oh, I'm so put upon. Aren't I a fucking Saint' She drives me up the wall

Other women I think aren't really touched by inequality because of the way their lives pan out. Or they just hide their heads in the sand, stick their fingers in their ears and sing. Loudly'

I'm happy with my stance, and equally content for other feminists to agree or disagree with me without wanting or needing to argue my corner in an emotional, defensive or judgy/blaming way.
Which in itself can also be annoying.

I didn't think I was a feminist because I believed feminism to be about preferential treatment for women.

Men are evil and bad and always wrong in everything and the world should change in favour of women.

Whereas I believe in total equality for all people.

I truly saw feminism as saying that the person saw women as more important than any other group in society. more important than men yes, but simply being female being more important than any other gorup that a woman may belong to - socail class, disability, race, etc.

However. I have been well educated on this on here and have changed my view. I like to think I am, but you could probably tell me whether you think I am from my posts.

So I think that women who are not feminists are not feminists because they are somehow taught that is is something that it is not. iyswim.

Hecate, Can I ask why you thought that was what feminism was?

Certainly.

Simple answer. I have no idea.

I can only conclude that it was a drip drip drip over my lifetime.

I do know that growing up (in a mining village) there was a lot of misogyny. lots of abuse of women. very traditional roles. and lots of 'jokes' about feminists. I say jokes, I guess I mean sneering. I mean, where I grew up many men were openly beating 'The Wife'. So many women walking round with a black eye that it was normal. lots of page 3 fans, lots of sexism, lots of yelling at you in the street. a very 'she asked for it' mentality.

I am trying to look back and assign reasons. In truth, I am not sure how I developed such views, nor am I sure why it took me so long to really look at them objectively.

I guess I must just be stupid.

I am a new recruit to the feminist movement.

I used to be of the mind set;
"Women have the vote, anything they want changing can be done by expressing this right".

Not really the case. Once I began to study it and really consider it I realised how ignorant I was being.

I still have some questions unanswered, but the movement for me isn't about "equality" as such, but breaking certain chains that are holding women (kind) down.

You are clearly far from stupid, Hecate

Many fear the stereotypical view and how it will be transferred. Many women are all for the rights and equality of women.

But fear that society will view them as 'angry women' many women think being a feminist requires the angry in dungarees type.