Resisting femininity experiment - who's in?

[sethstarkaddersmackerel]

I was thought-provoked by the 'I'm a feminist but....' thread, particularly Dittany's posts, in which she talked about women who choose not to 'perform femininity'.

I posted on the other thread that I hugely object to all that bikini-line business but do still shave my legs. Am not sure why I do this, so I think I'm going to stop and see how it feels. It felt like a major issue when I was 20 or so but I actually suspect not shaving them now would make me feel more, rather than less, confident.

So I wondered if anyone else was thinking about giving up any beauty practices or other elements of compulsory femininity and would like to do it together and see how it feels.

this is not a competition - if you decide after a day you hate it and can't live without it, fine, but it would be really interesting to hear about, and I think it could advance our understanding of how this all works.

anyone else in?

btw, I am in a vile mood today so if anyone wants to come along to the thread and tell us we are just falling into the trap of thinking all feminists have to have hairy legs, or that actually they wax everything and are a still better feminist than meeeee, I will tell them to fuck off because if you don't 'get' this I can't be bothered explaining, either you get it or you don't

I'm not feeling the least bit tempted to shave my legs, even though the hair is darker than I remembered it.
just the more I think about it the more I hate the idea of my legs being all shiny and sexualised, I mean, they're legs ffs! for walking on!

I was wild swimming the other day in a river in a lovely valley that feels all ancient and I decided it would just be wrong to do that with shaved legs.

I'm not going in for this hairy stuff because i'm not massively hair anyway.
I don't wear makeup
I dont fuck about much with my hair

Tonight I will mostly be going naked and showing off my c-sec overhang and my wibbly tummy

I am currenly sitting naked legs akimbo (for comfort resons). I am making a conscious effort not to arrange myself alluringly. My own self is maverllous enough

marvelous even

No actually I am splendiforous

Go SoSaysSarah in all her splendiferous authentically feminine glory!

one thing that has been brilliant about this thread is the people who have wandered in and said 'well I don't do x y z anyway'.

see, it all just needs talking about more. So many words are spent on how to look prettier and so few on how to just stay the way you are - the more I think about it the more the bizarre it seems that anyone thinks there is anything wrong with talking about it.

'They look weird when they're shaved don't they?'

yes exactly.
it is really interesting how easy it is to flip from thinking something is normal to thinking it is weird.
the big shift for me was how my view of high heels changed after reading Beauty and Misogyny, from thinking they looked powerful to thinking they looked really silly and desperate to please.

I think the internal shift has to come before you abandon the practice. So you clearly need some mental shift in the way you view this chin hair. how are we going to do this?

maybe the thread needs to do pep talks.

right:
Oh no Dittany! You've pulled out your amazing chin hair! It was like a big 'fuck off' to the patriarchy - it was a hair that said 'I AM WORTH MORE than the feeble crumbs the patriarchy throws pleasingly decorative women.
Every time someone saw that hair they got a sense that something wasn't right and TOO RIGHT something isn't right, they will have seen it and known that NOT EVERYONE has to submit to it all.
your hair said I AM RESISTING and YOU CAN TOO.

(now leave that to sink in, while the follicle regrows).

Do you think we could make a mono-beard be fashion-forward? If we could maybe get Alexa Chung on board with our project then everybody who is anybody would be falling all over themselves to grow their body hair and we would be COOL.

I failed too. I shaved my legs :( Not been done since I had the baby 6 months ago, but DH and I had our first night out alone together since she was born last night and I had bought a lovely dress (it was our wedding anniversary) and we were going to a fab restaurant and I just couldn't face the first time I went out with my hairy legs on full show (other than the swimming pool) being when we had such a rare lovely night out. I just wanted to be one of the crowd and fit in, pretend that we ate in such nice places all the time etc. I didn't want the stares when out with my DH for the first time in ages. A bit sad really. I do need to work on being stronger about it, because shaving them was a complete PITA actually - forgotten how much contorting is involved so I really don't want to be doing that very often.

Still removing chin hairs, but the random cheek hair is still there.

stop using the word 'fail', people.
it is an experiment not a competition!

Tortilla - good plan.

who is Alexa Chung? Has she got one of those 'This is what a feminist looks like' t-shirts?

can you do 'stylish crop' if you have hair growing out of your neck all the way down to your shoulders, though>

i mean, i'm buggered if i'm going to start shaving my neck ffs. the biannual leg thing is the most i can muster...

I've had a bit of an epiphany recently based on some threads on this topic and I realised that I do actually like my body (and myself in general of course). After years of self-loathing and problems with self-esteem I feel really comfortable in myself and I think the catalyst for this was having a DD and feeling that I didn't want her to go through that. Plus the idea of achieving perfection seems to come with a high cost in terms of money and time outlay which is at odds with my inherent laziness.

I like my grey hairs and my natural haircolour, I like my stretchmarks, I like my unshaved bits and my unmade up face. I like the fact I can get up ten minutes before we leave the house and have freed up income which I can spend on things that make me happy rather than things which don't. I like the fact that my DD is seeing that you don't have to paint your face, dye your hair, shave your pubic hair, be ashamed or negative about the stretchmarks and floppy tummy that having children leaves you with. I like the fact that I can stroll through the beauty aisles without beating myself up for not using any of the products. I like the fact I can run and not totter.

I dont like the fact that due to teenage bullying (7 years as the nerd in an all girls school) I can't let go of having to shave my legs and armpits, even if it is just during the summer. I don't like the fact I am overweight but this is causing health issues and is being tackled through a general lifestyle change rather than a diet. I don't like the fact that I have to wear a bra (F-G cup breasts) due to back, neck and shoulder pain.

FWIW I am clean and well-turned out everyday, I don't smell and I have a DH that loves and fancies me. I have friends (who aren't all feminist hairylegged lesbians in dungarees - well just one and she is my mum and she hasnt worn dungarees since the 80's ) and for the first time in my life I think I am actually properly happy. But its definitely this thread and others like it that have helped me feel like I am not the only person doing these things and given me the confidence to finally accept that this is the way to be.

yes - and i would love to look like judy dench. but it isn't down... it's proper growing hair that i can put up in a pony tail . i just have a really really low hair line. (i can do a good 'cousin it' impression too). they really do have to shave it with a proper razor if i get a crop...

firky - yay!

on a side note - dd1 came back froma sleepover yesterday where they all put on false nails. she's 11. fortunately she was sensible enough to snap them all off before she came home (she said they were too long and she couldn't do anyhting) but i was ahast -11? i thought they might paint them, but fakes?

Bloody fantastic thread. SIL was wearing a vest yesterday and hadn't shaved her armpits. It looked so natural. Prior to this thread I wouldn't have considered it for myself, but now I am. (Gave up on bikini line long ago in protest at the whole Brazilian/Hollywood crap).

Thank you for making me think.

Swallowed - Appearance OCD, great description.

ah yes, all that 'women are their own worst enemy' crap.

EenyMeenyMaya -
We endeavour to give satisfaction.