Do all women deny themselves for their families, or is it just mothers?

[Ormirian]

Was anyone else brought up to give the rest of the family the biggest portion of food, if it's running short? To worry more about what they give at christmas than they receive? Is it a woman thing? Or just a mother thing? And is it generational - a hang over from the war and rationing? I wasn't around during rationing but I was brought up by a mother that was.

Women and girls do on average need about 1/5 fewer calories than boys and men. But we need to have a fair share of the 'good stuff'.

FFS Dittany

we are talking about maybe giving them one or two fewer roast potatoes (which they can have if they want!), not blimming STARVING GIRLS.

Go chill.

Blimey seriously girls do not need less food than boys. The reason they are given more is because is is seen as important that boys grow up "big and strong".

My gran always gave me about 1/2 as much food as my younger brother because he was a boy.

Seriously people give girls less than boys as a matter of course? What message does this send to girls? If my DD had her friend round (they are both 3) and I gave him two slices of pizza and her one, and told her that he gets more because he is a boy, what is that telling her? It's not good, really really it's not good. I can't believe people are doing this.

this is making me think of d h lawrence's novel about mining town times. getting the male to hand over his salary (after they stopped women from working) could be hard work. he had to see that he was getting a good deal out of it and getting the best meal etc.

basically like it was a b&b and if you didn't serve the guest well enough they wouldn't pay board and would spend it in the pub instead.

i think it's to do with the money traditionally and the dependency of the woman on getting that money.

and as for me personally - no i'm not the sacrificing type especially when there is absolutely no need.

i remember the painfulness and guilt as a child of trying to talk my mother into buying something for herself when she saw something. i think martyrdom is horrible to be around and a power game really.

trillian male children do not need more food than female children. That is just wrong.

They have found that people subconsciously limit the amount of milk for female babies (she's greedy) while giving lots and lots to male ones (he's got a great appetite) haven't they. Don't have a link though, sorry. Will have a look.

Women DO need fewer calories than men on average because on average they are smaller and number of calories needed does have a link to body size. And yes, my son eats more than my daughter because he has a bigger appetite and his 8 inches taller and 4 stone heavier. I am not going to put the same on each plate to have hers thrown away.

amothersplace do you on principle feed girls less than boys. Do you expect women to eat less than men if they are the same size and stature.

Would you give a 3yo girl less food than a 3yo boy.

Or should it be the case that people as individuals have access to food according to their different needs (which it sounds like is what you are doing).

No-one is saying that a 5 foot woman and a 7 foot rugby player must have the same amount of food.

The problem is giving females less on principle.

I notice that my friends and acquaintances who lacked for love and affection in their childhood, or lacked materially, are more selfish as adults than those who were showered with love

See, I'd disagree with that. I was starved of love & affection & I am not selfish.

I have to disagree with this also, I had a haphazard childhood, but go all out to make sure my kids childhood is story book perfect. It's because I don't want them going through the same thing. One example, my mum was always late and I have practically have a panic attack at the thought of being late to pick either of them up from school, barely able to trust DH to be on time to pick them up. I also consume parenting books in an effort to be a perfect mum, futile I know, but it comforts me.

I agree that comment is silly, plenty of people who are brought up with everything they want are very selfish. Plenty of people who are brought up with little are very generous. It's a bit random and not true IME.

I guess my brain was thinking of teenagers for some bizarre reason, obviously two eight year olds need the same amount of food regardless of gender, sorry.

Yes that's it.

Even with teenagers, a girl who does a lot of sport will need more than a boy who is sedentary, and they will both need more when they're having a growth spurt...

On average yes though if I ate the same as my DH I'd be huge!

It would be interesting to find out what the difference is in average calorific need between teenage boys and girls, and whether any difference is generated by differences in physical activity (which is a difference due to society) or due to difference in average size/physiology.

Easiest thing to do is let people help themselves TBH. Minefield avoided!

Ha. For years I've automatically served DH amd me equal portions. Never occurred to me to serve DH more simply because he is a man.

I'm now trying to break that habit because I've recognised that he's a foot taller than me so if I eat the same as him I will end up a foot wider.

As regards being "self sacrificing" - no. I don't do this and nor does my mum (I think). We are very big on being fair which means we don't get more than anyone else, but neither do we get less.

Is it not just a nice person thing? To care more for others and to not put yourself first all the time?

If more women than men are generous and think of others, then does that mean that women are somehow manipulated into thinking of others or does it mean that women are nicer, more thoughtful, more loving human beings?

Dttany, nbody will become taller if you feed them more calories than they need. They'll just get fatter, and be as tall as they would have done with the correct amount of calories.

basically, when you're feeding boys and girls (over about the age of 12) and men and women, it's all about the potatoes.

Women need the same amonth of protein and more iron (the 'good' stuff) the same amount of vegetables. Fewer calories on a whole simply by dint of being smaller. So less carbohydrate, less fat - the 'cheap filling stodge' that britons are so beloved of.

I give my boyfriend a MUCH bigger portion than I serve myself, he's 10 inches taller than me and 5 stone heavier and he simply needs more calories than me to run his body - but believe me when I say we get the same sized steak!

My ex, on the other hand, go a slightly smaller meal, as he was 9 stone sopping wet, 5'8, and dind't eat much.

Men on average also have a higher proportion of muscle, and muscle tissue burns more calories. So a man and a women of the same height and weight may still need different amount of calories.

Hec I don't think it is a "nice person thing" when you get to the point where you are not just being fair or generous but actively denying yourself.

I'm a nice person - but don't try to give my boyfriend an ounce more of steak than I have - I NEED that meat. I bleed every month. He can have bread and butter if he's still hungry!