Do all women deny themselves for their families, or is it just mothers?

[Ormirian]

Was anyone else brought up to give the rest of the family the biggest portion of food, if it's running short? To worry more about what they give at christmas than they receive? Is it a woman thing? Or just a mother thing? And is it generational - a hang over from the war and rationing? I wasn't around during rationing but I was brought up by a mother that was.

coldtits it depends on your starting point. In the last century people have got a lot taller as their diets have improved and they have had access to better diets. It is the case that in a situation with limited food / limited variety of food, growth will be stunted. Dittany was talking about female children having their growth limited if their food intake is limited.

I would also say that with girls and boys, and men and women, it depends on the size, stature and level of physical activity of the people involved. A very active 12yo girl will need more calories than a sedentary 12yo boy.

It's another "averages" problem.

Men are larger than women on average and have more muscle - OK.

Using this to justify feeding females less than males in general is wrong.

thinking about the martyrdom thing...

maybe if the man had the economic power so got the best the woman had to secure the sympathy of her children by being seen to suffer, sacrifice etc. then when they started earning they'd be guilty enough to keep handing over the bulk of their salary to mother.

dunno. don't like martyrs though - the outcome is always to make others feel uncomfortable and guilty. catholic shite personified.

I give DP bigger portions, but this is because when we started going out I tried matching him in eating, and put on a lot of weight. It makes sense - he's bigger than me and has a faster metabolism, therefore he gets more food.

I don't remember my DM or DGMs ever depriving themselves of food, but I did have to learn to eat very quickly as a child (especially if there were sweets or the like) because I had two older and bigger DBs with no sense of shame when it came to scoffing themselves. Hence the highly important "one person cuts, the other chooses" rule was introduced.

My mu always gave my dad and brother the legs of any roast chicken, and bro was brought up to think of it as a man's portion.

DP won't fall for this, and says that everyone knows the breast is the nicest and he won't be denied the good stuff just because he is a man (or else why would stuff be advertised as '100% chicken breast meat'?).

I don't know if mum really thought the leg was a desirable thing to have, and so was being self-sacrificing in giving it away, or if she was just sneakily saving the breast for us.

I prefer the leg myself.

my dad always did the serving up in our house and the choicest bits were for me as i was the pickiest/food phobic/pita and the youngest. next came sis and mum and then he appeared to be sacrificing by giving himself the fattiest grossest bits for himself.

took me a while to realise those are actually the bits he likes best.

Oh yes, I'm a chicken breast sacrificer.

"I insist, I'm FINE with the wobbly thigh/back bits, you eat all the lovely tender white breats meat, you must!"

I HATE chicken breast.

I was never given lean meat as a child because I was underweight, so never really developed a taste for it. My brother got the breast meat, because he was a very fat child.

Is your family surname Spratt, coldtits?

Funny enough I thought about this thread just before.
DH had cooked Christmas deal and asked if I would help serve it up.

The portions went
DS1 Largest portion
DH 2nd largest
DS2 3rd

me the smallest.

I wasn't depriving myself. I had plenty to eat (well too much tbh) but DS1 had a second plate full.

It was all down to appetite not about being a martyr or giving anyone guilt trips.

Burnt toast I'm guilty of this. My girls are always giving me a slap for not putting myself first. Typically by the time I got to eat my dinner today it was going cold..."don't wait for me kids...it'll get cold".
Not sure I'd have it any other way though