Secret Militant Feminist Agenda

[ElephantsAndMiasmas]

...what is it then? I keep reading about it as a reason for us all Lying Our Terrible Lies about being harrassed in the street, or beaten up at home or what have you.

It's making me feel a bit left out TBH.

Can someone drop me a hint about why we're talking about these things, given that they cannot be true in the egalitarian paradise in which we live?

Code is permitted.

Elephants - yup I think so. And I didn't know that about goodbye and it had best not be a trick as I like things like that.

LG - as soon as that? Do you not think we need to be more logical and rational about this. I do like the snappy chant though. Got any more?

Lenin! That is demanding.

"What Would We Like Ideally When You're Quite Ready? Equal Representation in Parliament? When Do We Want It? Whenever's Good For You!"

Better.

Now that's someone who knows her place. I can see I have much to learn

(Not a trick Alice :))

yes, I feel the brainwashing effects of the Cabal begin to fall away.

but why do i sit here and converse with you women? Surely there are some diverse domestic tasks we should be graciously accomplishing?

Ah. Where Were We?

Lenin - how are the rest of the chants coming along?

I hope you're not complaining. You've all those mod cons to help you out, and sometimes I've heard that men can help you out with the odd thing. Obviously only if it isn't too hard - there's some things they simply don't have the genes for, and only if they haven't had too tiring a day at work.

I sent DP the enemy to the opticians and - as suspected, dirt-blindness. Is it treatable or kinder just to put him down?

Put down I'd say. We can't have any weakness near the movement, it'll be where they attack us.

I'm off, if I'm here much longer they'll be able to trace me.

[puts tin hat and foil wrap on and disappears into the night]

[or goes to bed, thinking what about the men]

A sister has suggested a Militant Feminist Conspiracy Christmas Catalogue.

So far we have commissioned some luxury Razor-tipped Windscreen Wipers for when Giant Bollocks Hove Into View.

Further suggestions?

It's gone very quiet round here. Shit they've gone somewhere even MORE secret haven't they?

How about one of these?
Mum called hers a replacement husband.

E&M, perhaps you should include a basic dictionary, since apparently what we really needed was copy'n'paste definitions from dictionary.com.

It's a good thing we have helpful posters around to remind us that we just don't know what multiple sylable words mean. Unless it's "dishwasher"

'Cos we hate the Menz, etc.

Sophistry for Beginners AKA The Feminism Bible?

Aks the patriarchy about this.. do you have the email address?

Alternatively I will tell you the secret handshake.

Here, Elephants! I have the bestest thing for the Xmas Catalogue! It's a Dyson, well it was, but I have sellotaped a Fleshlight and a picture of a pair of tits to it! For the Sexist Pig in Your Life!

Lady college, you say?

Oh, you SHOULDN'T have SGB!!! Is a fleshlight one of those vaginas that doesn't also do the cooking etc?

OOOOOKAAAAAAY, the New Deluxe Model. With microwave oven sellotaped to the middle.

ALternatively, my other invention - one of those hats with beercans on either side, complete with plastic tubes to insert in the mouth but with the Special Addition of a long stick at the front, on the end of which is fastened a picture of a fanjo.
Both-hands-free action!

how's that prospectus looking, caramelwaffle?

SGB - well that's bloody better. Do it care for my son and heir as well? Or do we include a dog with the package>