Feminism chat thread

[ElephantsAndMiasmas]

Hello

Been saying for ages that it'd be nice to have an area for just saying hi, letting off some steam and sharing the little things that don't warrant a whole thread.

So, I'll start...

My brother made me :o:o:o last night when we were talking about some crap sexist song. And he said (in all honesty) - well this is just one of the millions of ways the patriarchy keeps itself going.

Also got the updated email from the Feminism in London conference this morning - can't wait.

Anyone else?

sorry SaF it sounded weird after I'd posted it
I was trying to be ironic. Ah well..

SaF - I blame my MiL - she showed him that movie when he was about 2 and it was like a bloody virus.......and, yes, I could do the sodding dialogue from that film (he had Lady on his fourth birthday cake - he loved Lady)

I'd lose loads of points if DD's pink obsession is anything to go by

oops

The books used to make me want to stab myself they were so badly written. ds knew I hated reading them and would graciously allow me to pick the bedtime story once in a while.....
A couple of weeks ago Ds's homework was to retell the story of the Minotaur from the perspective of the Minotaur, Ariadne, Theseus or the King. He chose Ariadne and was completely indignant that Theseus abandoned her on the isand of Naxos. At least there were no sarky comments from his (male) teacher!

My feminist parenting has worked better on dd than ds1 - he is a pint-size MRA

4!

We're watching Labyrinth for the second time right now

I have four DDs. My 7.5y wears jeans and trainers and does street dancing and wears her hair in a short bob. My 6yo wears long, floaty skirts and pretty shoes and does ballet and tap and wears her curly blonde hair long and not tied up.

The other two are a complete mix so far.

I wish I had some good guidance on ways to minimise any societal influences on how they grow up to percieve themselves as females; I feel like I'm just muddling through, hoping for the best. Are there any good books about feminist parenting?

Yes, I definitely don't want a book saying 'this is how you should parent girls'; and I guess I mean 'mitigating' rather than 'minimising. What things to be aware of and hints and tips for how to guide your children to critique them. I do see entirely what you mean, and it's certainly what we do with lots of other things, but I'm very concerned about the vast amount of conditioning they're exposed to from billboards, tv programmes etc. I wouldn't ever censor them, but I sometimes feel a bit 'all at sea' when I think about how to help them be aware of the influence those things might be having on them IYSWIM.

What is it about boys and 'X is for geh-wulls'?

I had a cod psychology moment the other day and wondered if my nearly 4 DS was like that because I'm a single mum by choice so he needs to validate his gender or something (at his age, his world is very female oriented too). But maybe it's just a stage?

Not a single parent thing - majority of boys I know do this to a lesser or greater degree. It is a question of all the stereotyping they come up against from TV, adverts, other parents, other children. frankly feels like a losing battle most of the time! My SIL mutters things like 'Well a pink plate is fine when you are three, but not when you are older'.

Following on from our MRA visitors I was wondering something. You know how there's blurbs at the start of some areas (like AIBU says it's not a fight club, Relationships has stuff about Women's Aid), could we have something that says 'if you are opposed to feminism then this in not the place for you'. Phrased better than that. Not to stifle discussion, so MNers can discuss feminist issues without fear, but to make it clear that if you fight against feminism eg are an MRA or similar you are not welcome in a feminist space. Obvs it would need very careful wording. I wasn't here when the board was set up so don't know what was agreed to know whether that is appropriate.

Not that it will stop them, but it would make it clear it's appropriate to report. I wasn't sure you see.

You could steal use for inspiration some of the wording from the F-Word site, which, I feel, is very open but firm.

I have issues with some of the F word stuff as I think it does stifle some feminist views (don't want to go there just now) but point 1 is a good starting point. But including what Englebert says too, as imo it isn't just for feminists here. But it's not for people opposed to feminism.

I'm concerned it would run into what is and isn't feminist, which MNHQ might not be able to adjudicate on. So it has to be incontrovertibly anti-fem, ie actively so.