Would you like to play "It's like Feminisim never happened" with me?

[Marchpane]

I have a gem: I'm sorting out the home insurance renewal but since the last policy I have taken redundancy and I'm going back to do a postgraduate course. Which I told them.

They now have my occupation listed as "housewife" which is pretty yuk, but under employer's business it say "domestic service".

Presumably my husband is my employer and I spend my time in servitude to him?

Any one more?

Whilst working part-time (flexible working all agreed) at an investment bank - new boss at appraisal time "well you are not as committed as some of the others". Me: yes i am, I do a 30 hour week (in just 3 days). Him: well the others will work 7 days a week and be on call all night.

I experienced no prejudice in the City until I had DS and then oh my god it was prehistoric. So glad not to work there anymore.

this has both made me laugh and cry, i have a few PIL shaped ones

1. FIL everytime i wear something new its ' oooh did DH treat you'? er no i earn my own money thank you
2. MIL and OH DG when DH needed to send a letter out to business for a charity he was taking part in , are you going to type it up for him? gahhhhh no. i told them i was not his secretary and cannot type very well without typos.

it's like feminism never happened!

Does this count?

MIL comes to visit. Always buys a plant for me, and a lovely bottle of wine for dh. The presents are very specifically addressed. I know which one I'd rather have!

holy, as far as I know, it's the same in all cantons. Applies to married women, as married women in Switzerland are supposed to stay at home and raise kids. If she is one of those evil feminists and works, of course she should be punished.

As women's rights are concerned, Switzerland is stuck in 50s. Don't be too surprised.

Ps where exactly in Switzerland are you moving? Am there as well.

I'm in Basel too :) PM if you want to meet up or need help settling in.

oh and to get the thread back on track - in Switzerland, most apartments have shared laundry rooms, where you can either book time or if not that lucky, will get an allocated washing time each week. Someone I know had theirs on Wednesday morning. They both work. When the husband complained, the concierge didn't see a problem - "But surely your wife is doing the laundry anyway?"

I am constantly told by male and female friends and colleagues how 'lucky' I am to have a partner who a) doesn't 'mind' my having a job that takes me away from home several days a month and who b) is 'able to look after the children while I'm away'. LUCKY? I seem to recall I was involved in deciding to live with him.

I used to call in to my local pub, abuot 10 years ago when kids were small and I was coming back from business - and pints, what's more.

Me sitting and supping on bar stool in public bar of old quaint pub in small village:
Old gent: it's a shame to see a woman drink a pint, it's not ladylike
Me: I like a pint, it saves having to buy two halves
OG: it's people like you ought to be ashamed, your kids will be hanging round the village making mischief, it's mothers like you who shouldn't be allowed to have kids
Me: pardon?
Old Gent: why does you husband let you out like this?
Me: I'm not married
OG: I'm not surprised, no one would want to marry you
Me: !!!!!

And another - 20 years ago, when young, went to doctors about painful back:
Male doc: you've such a pretty face it's a shame you're overweight

Ah try owning a classic carvery
Admittedly dh does do most of the work in it but its ow

Stupid phone.

Car for starters.

I instigated the purchase. It's in my name. I organise all the repairs, parts, MOTs, insurance, rallies we go to.

However whenever we go anywhere in it or even if its on the drive all questions are put to dh. Even when we are together and I answer them, people look to dh.

2 months ago we went to a rally and a bloke continued to ask questions even though dh was constantly saying "you should ask dw, its her car"

he he classic carvery

I had the bank clerk talk down to me when i went to pay some money into my account while with my children. i handed her my card and she looked very surprised, and said to me " ohhh you have a such and such card...they are the very best card we do you know, arnt you lucky, we usually only give them to people who work and earn lots of money" my response was just "ooo well lucky me then" lol! and also i get all my forms that i apply for addressed to my husband even though hes never spoken to the company...infuriating!

I stayed behind class one day helping clean up some art supplies when the headmaster walked in, saw me at the sink and commented 'I was going to make some lucky man a good housewife one day.' Even then I was a bit hmm

Only himself was allowed to vote in my banks shares vote. I set up the mortgage banked with them for years and it was mainly my money paid for most of the house but I wasnt allowed to vote as they always default to the male and its one vote per household.
Bastards I moved banks.

I had a conversation with my MIL recently which really shocked me. She can be astute about some feminist things such as how patriarchal the medical profession is and she was a working mother while FIL stayed at home with their 3 boys.

She actually said... wait for it... that some women were so stupid that they needed husbands to help keep them in line.

I couldn't find the words - stunned silence followed that remark. I eventually found a voice to say that some men were also incredibly stupid and did this theory apply to them too. Unfortunately she missed the whole nuance of that and carried on talking about these "stupid women". She is also selectively slightly deaf so she may have missed my entire remark but she didn't. DH meanwhile, was laughing silently into his android phone arse.

So there you go - if you are stupid get thee a husband and everything will be alright .

I've been lurking around here for a while, but had to join to add my tuppence worth to this (excellent yet horrifying) thread...

I'm still working my way through all the posts but had to vent about my experience of the Dr Dilemma that some people seem to have. I have a PhD and my husband is a medic. At our wedding reception this June, we were about to go into dinner when the manager of the venue asked if we'd like to be announced. We hadn't given any thought to this but on the spur of the moment it seemed like it might add to the occasion. The guy asked what we'd like him to say- I said, 'well it's Dr and Dr Hisname now I guess :)' whereupon I was told, 'Oh no, that's not correct, it has to be Dr and Mrs' the proceeded to announce us as such! I was too flustered to argue but it still really bugs me, especially as it was in front of all our relative who now presumably think I've willingly given up my title!

seriously, there are so many women doing PhDs nowadays and you still get those "oh surely women cannot be doctors, don't be ridiculous!". Sad.

My FIL comes out with some corkers, and this is a safe place for me to share them :o.

Yesterday we were commenting on how good dc2 is with his numbers (he's 2.9), and FIL says "that'll be a combination of his Dad (who is an accountant) and the Chinese (I am Chinese)". Because it couldn't be anything to do with his Mum who has a degree in Engineering from Cambridge...