Rape within marriage

[tabouleh]

Yes unashamedly a thread about a thread.

It is like entering the bloody twilight zone over there.

Jeez there are MNers basically caring more about OP's husbands right to sex rather than believing OP and helping her.

Totally understand if this gets deleted for being a thread about a thread - but if it gets more of the feminist viewpoints onto that thread then great.

ah yes, the one with 8 chats in it? :(

TheButterflyEffect, So even something like what OP describes can be overcome?
I genuinely admire you (although I know you don't need or want my admiration, but I do all the same) and I can't claim to understand your stance, but I have respect for it.

I think so, TBE :o

Unfortunately you have to wait to be approved

I am waiting to be approved as well. Are they very similar to here, just minus the arseholes? Just I have entered the same username and it might not be appreciated for a newbie...

Gosh, this thread has been such an education for me. I know understand your insistence on calling a 'spade' a 'spade' when it comes to rape, TheButterflyEffect.
Perhaps something as awful as it CAN be overcome (well you say it can and I don't doubt you)but only with true honesty. What an eye-opener.

I am genuinely sorry that this happened to you though, TheButterflyEffect, as you do seem to me to be quite a wonderful person.

The original thread seems to have been deleted and, if someone at any point says no in a clear way and their partner proceeds with sex, it is rape. End of story.

However I have a big problem with the thesis that if you feel like you were raped ergo you were raped. There has to be some objectivity. Otherwise all sorts of things are brought into the equation such as retrospective rape where people with emotional issues have consensual sex and then genuinely feel that they have been raped ex post facto. Imagine using how someone felt as a definition of theft or fraud. Someone has to know, at the time, whether what they are doing is criminal or not.

Good grief. I'm genuinely shocked that MNers could turn on a rape victim. That's horrifying.

Anchor, I do hope things work out for you, whatever decisions you make.

Marantha, it is VERY wrong of you to follow an OP from thread to thread to continue to harass her. Who are you to demand answers to very personal questions? Leave rape victims alone. If you want to understand rape, start your own thread. Or go and read a book.

larry - part of the normal human response to an assault can be to shut down. Not to talk or react. That's well established in the psychological literature. Victim behaviour that is within the normal range of responses cannot and must not be used as an excuse to let rapists off. It's down to the person who wants to initiate sex to establish that the other person is happy to take part.

Thebutterfly effect,

I have no problem with your reformulation. Rape is rape and I am not sure the difference between "technical" rape and any other form.

Not convinced that that is what some meant, though.

This thread is NOT about OP -it's entitled Rape within marriage.
I'm sorry but these accusations of harrassment are unfounded.

"I have a big problem with the thesis that if you feel like you were raped ergo you were raped"

Ok. But that isn't what this, or the other thread was about. What is your point exactly?

Edam,

That is totally unrealistic, particularly with young people. What are you really thinking? Signed consent form? If someone appears to be enjoying something and does not object to what their partner is doing in a sufficiently obvious way, they are, de facto, consenting.

As for your wording "to let rapists off"; if someone appears to have consensual sex with a person, that person is NOT a rapist.