Traps For Women & Girls

[ElephantsAndMiasmas]

I've been thinking about how a lot of the time it is impossible for a woman to win when it comes to choices.

For example, it seems that everyone is very keen for mothers to stay at home, especially those with small children (should say that this is second hand, I have no DC yet). Public opinion, childcare costs, media etc all make clear that that is the right choice.

And yet when they do they become expected to do all the housework (even at weekends), vulnerable to charges of being lazy, "ladies who lunch", overprotective etc.

And if they work part-time they are often seen as uncommitted at work, and still have all the downsides of being SAHM.

Or if you wear make-up and heels some people will judge you as a bimbo, but if you wear a t-shirt and jeans and trainers, then you are probably depressed or a lesbian (nothing wrong with being gay, just a stupid judgement to make on appearance alone) or not making "enough" effort.

Was wondering if anyone else had examples of being caught in these kind of traps?

not very useful to yak on about male power as if its a given a fore gone conclusion that men are powerful

some of you dont need to be kicked down.you are already on your knees with perceived inequalities and wrong doing.describing a world of put upon women. have some flippin self belief and mastery of your own destiny.instead of whining about male power

with that prognosis christ how did we ever get vote.

Also a good point millyr

sm if people are talking about things that have happened to them, how is that perceived inequalities? Surely they are actual inequalities, and actual women on here want to talk about their experiences and think about how to change things.

BTP, do you believe emotional abuse does not exist?

BTP your last post has confused me! What does it mean?

this thread isnt all 1st hand recollection,some of it is subjective opinion too.and the you addresses the plurality demonstrated on the thread

ScottishMummy - inequality is real and damaging and recognising that isn't 'whining'.

How did the American Civil Rights movement ever challenge segregation? The ANC challenge Apartheid? Women get the vote?

Certainly not by ignoring the real inequality that exists as you seem to advocate.

no accept that majority girls cant deflect societal messages,and know you place.accept male powers.do let the bastards grind you down?

yes kittycat how did these things change when majority of girls apparently cannot deflect societal messages

cant play it both ways

women put upon,kept down by machinations of oppression.majority unable to deflect powerful messages

or mighty and strong able to rise up against an oppressor

whats it to be

real answer is actually somewhere in middle

this fatalistic vision of subjugated women isnt accurate

gosh, what glib nonsense.

that to beertricks but...

YOU'RE the one being fatalistic, SM. the rest of the thread is about activism, surely?

Surely the point of all these campaigns that have been won is that while many individual women are strong enough to deal with sexism in their lives, we can change things in extraordinary ways if we identify areas of sexism and challenge them collectively.

oh fgs beertricks, what you wrote was glib, beyond belief tbh.

Oh gotcha BTP missed that!

I think if you don't rise above it, and you don't sink beneath it, then you're right in the middle looking it in the eye and considering what the hell to do about it. That's where I'm at anyway, I think.

sm surely it is that case that people change during the courses of their lives. Unconfident teenage girls who consume these messages can grow up to be powerful women fighting against them.

I'm not sure what you'd have people do. If teh argument is that these messages are irrelevant/don't really affect anyone/most people are confident enough not to be bothered by them, then there is no problem, is there. And we can all stop and go home.

But that's not true - the MN let girls be girls campaign, what happened with the dr pepper status takeover - lots of people are upset about the messages, especially messages to young girls, and want to talk about the messages and what we can do about it.