Dittany !!! Or anyone who knows of good links for rape victims....

[AnyFucker]

Sorry to post this here

I think Dittany, or other vociferous posters on rape may be able to help me and wanted this to come to their attention

I am looking for info about the scenario where a rape victim continues to see, or even date/pursue their attacker, in an attempt to "normalise" or "cancel out" the trauma

I really hope someone gets what I mean, am in a terrible rush and prbably put this very badly, but I have seen this referred to before on MN

TIA you good ladies, and sorry for gabbling xxx

"the worst thing is, I bet he doesn't even fucking remember it"

:( AF. That really struck a chord with me too. I'm sure if I ever spoke to my ex again (god forbid) and told him that he had raped me, he would just laugh in disbelief.

Mumi's link on the first page is just great, especially the "definitions" page. Stuff every teenage girl should know. I hate the thought of any teen going through what I went through, and it affecting them for years after like it has me.

The stories that people have posted are very sad, but it does show just how amazing the feminist section must be, if they feel comfortable enough to do so. :)

so have I, IW

there is a very good reason why laws on statutory rape should be upheld very vigorously

and I also said that the age of being able to "consent" (even in cases where it appears a young girl was in full agreement) should also be 16 yrs

because young girls are not in any position to give proper consent, and many have been manipulated into dodgy situations by older men

blair...I still boil inside when I think of how an incident that affected me so much, would not even feature on his radar

I thought it didnt really bother me until, god knows why, I looked him up on fb. When I saw his picture again I felt like Id been punched in the stomach.

It wouldnt even focus on his radar either. Looking back I was a child at 16, I knew nothing and was very immature. I could cry for who I was and what happened.

that link by mumi is very good, I have only just read it

because they're sick bastards who like to believe in a lolita fantasy as it gives them permission to lust after children?

Read the definition of partner sexual assault via mumi's link ....

why did i click on this thread?!

"Judith Herman writes about the tendency of abused children to cling tenaciously to the very parents who hurt them (9) Perpetrators of sexual abuse may capitalize on this tendency by giving their victim the only sense of specialness, or being loved, that they have ever had."

:(

nell...you ok ?

saf...you may want to get that last post deleted, love

it certainly outs him, and by association, possibly you

leave it if you wish though x

And this is why I want to scream in rage when well meaning people say that although they don't blame rape victims, no no no far from it, they do think that if the woman just acted differently it wouldn't have happened...

Look at us, doubting whether we've been raped, blaming ourselves, all these years later feeling stupid for not shouting loud enough or being in public while female, or generally acting the way we've been socialised.

I posted this on another thread today, but here it is again: [[http://fugitivus.wordpress.com/2009/06/26/another-post-about-rape-3/ Women who are taught that physical confrontations make them look crazy will not start hitting, kicking, and screaming until it?s too late, if they do at all.

Women who are taught that a display of their emotional state will have them labeled hysterical and crazy (which is how their perception of events will be discounted) will not be willing to run from a room disheveled and screaming and crying.]]

SAF, a little googling may out you from what you have typed x

AF no not really. i just realised via that link that when i thought i had escaped the clutches of childhood abuse, that actually my whole life has pretty much been filled with it. 23 fucking years (am 28), and a lot of it i knew about, just the partner assault i didn't.

saf - i have most of those now so god only knows what i was like as a teenager!

so sorry, nell x

ok, saf

saf - i have most of those now so god only knows what i was like as a teenager!

saf - i have most of those now so god only knows what i was like as a teenager!

i don't know why its repeat posting - sorry.

lg, what a good thing to say