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Original poster

Husband says I stink

354 replies

Jez2510 · 28/01/2025 00:35

Hi everyone,

I'm 15 weeks postpartum and breast feeding, I also have an older child in school. When I get back from school run everyday my husband tells me I "stink like wet dog" even if I've had a bath/shower the night before. He says is probably from the hormones from breastfeeding. No one else has mentioned it and I have asked a couple of female friends if I smell and they say no. I'm doing everything I can think of to help with the smell. Using Fussy deodorant, perfume and nice smelling spray on my clothes. Sometimes I have to wash jumpers after only wearing them the once because he says they stink.

Obviously, this is making me feel very self conscious and embarrassed. I don't want him to lie to me, if I smell I'd rather know but I can't live in the shower when I have a baby to look after,

Has anyone got any tips/tricks to help with this? I use Fussy deodorant as most other antiperspirants seem to make me smell worse!

OP posts:
AwaitingFreedom · 28/01/2025 00:39

Only use bar soap to wash.

Only use roll on and not stick deodorant.

Wash clothes at 40C with powder and not liquid or capsules. Add a laundry sanitiser or white vinegar to every wash.

If your friends say you do not smell then your DH might have a sinus infection.

Dillydollydingdong · 28/01/2025 00:39

If he's the only person who thinks you smell, you don't. Maybe he's imagining it? Maybe he needs to see his GP. Seriously.

healthybychristmas · 28/01/2025 00:46

He doesn't sound very nice at all. Is he able to take care of the baby while you have a shower in the morning? Does he normally insult you?

Oodiks · 28/01/2025 00:48

So when are you leaving him?

SnowFrogJelly · 28/01/2025 00:49

What a horrible thing to say

Original poster
Jez2510 · 28/01/2025 00:54

healthybychristmas · 28/01/2025 00:46

He doesn't sound very nice at all. Is he able to take care of the baby while you have a shower in the morning? Does he normally insult you?

He's not a beat around the bush kind of person. He doesn't usually say anything horrible about me, which is probably why I feel so self conscious when he tells me I smell. He usually has to leave shortly after the school run is done so hasn't got time to wait with baby while I have a wash. It is only ever after the school run he says it to me. There are dogs on the school run but I never go near them as my eldest is terrified of dogs.

OP posts:
suburberphobe · 28/01/2025 00:57

He sounds awful.

He should be adoring you as the mother of his child.

Original poster
Jez2510 · 28/01/2025 00:57

AwaitingFreedom · 28/01/2025 00:39

Only use bar soap to wash.

Only use roll on and not stick deodorant.

Wash clothes at 40C with powder and not liquid or capsules. Add a laundry sanitiser or white vinegar to every wash.

If your friends say you do not smell then your DH might have a sinus infection.

I do all of this already but thank you for the advice. Getting him to go to the doctors is a whole other matter, he refuses to go even when he definitely should. Years ago, before we were together he smashed his thumb and it took hours for me and another friend to convince him to go to the hospital to have it x-rayed. Lucky we did as he had done quite a bit of damage!

OP posts:
Original poster
Jez2510 · 28/01/2025 00:58

Dillydollydingdong · 28/01/2025 00:39

If he's the only person who thinks you smell, you don't. Maybe he's imagining it? Maybe he needs to see his GP. Seriously.

I have wondered that but I also wonder if my friends are being polite 😅

OP posts:
Original poster
Jez2510 · 28/01/2025 01:01

Oodiks · 28/01/2025 00:48

So when are you leaving him?

Have to say, this did make me laugh 😆 he's a nice guy but he doesn't beat around the bush if there's a problem or something needs to be said.

OP posts:
mrssunshinexxx · 28/01/2025 01:01

Literally have a 60 second hot shower first thing don't need to hair wash. Husband can watch baby or lay him/ her safely on your bed

lemmein · 28/01/2025 01:04

It's probably him.

Original poster
Jez2510 · 28/01/2025 01:05

mrssunshinexxx · 28/01/2025 01:01

Literally have a 60 second hot shower first thing don't need to hair wash. Husband can watch baby or lay him/ her safely on your bed

The problem I have is I don't "smell' before I leave for school run, only when I'm back and I'm worried that parents and teachers at the school might smell the same thing he does when I get home. Maybe it only starts once I'm outside and building up a sweat, even though I don't feel myself sweating?

OP posts:
nocoolnamesleft · 28/01/2025 01:06

So he needs to get the school age child up, and look after the baby, whilst you have a nice shower before the school run. Or you could leave him.

Original poster
Jez2510 · 28/01/2025 01:06

lemmein · 28/01/2025 01:04

It's probably him.

I hope so, I'd be horrified if I smell like that to other people!

OP posts:
DeepRoseFish · 28/01/2025 01:08

Don’t you think you have more important things to worry about right now?

How utterly vile of him. He’s showing his true colours when you are vulnerable like most abusive men.

I would tell him to fuck off. Permanently.

user1492757084 · 28/01/2025 01:10

AwaitingFreedom · 28/01/2025 00:39

Only use bar soap to wash.

Only use roll on and not stick deodorant.

Wash clothes at 40C with powder and not liquid or capsules. Add a laundry sanitiser or white vinegar to every wash.

If your friends say you do not smell then your DH might have a sinus infection.

And wear natural fibres..
Cotton, silk and wool mostly.
Synthetics often smell as they offer no real ventilation.

DeepRoseFish · 28/01/2025 01:10

Oh and it is normal to smell it’s the hormones leaving your body!!! It doesn’t last long!

But seriously what on earth do you see in this prince???!

AliCatWalk · 28/01/2025 01:15

Hmm, do you do the school run on foot? If you use a vehicle I guess there could be a chance the seat is wet/absorbed some kind of smell...but it does sound like he's the only one with the problem, especially as your hygiene habits sound perfectly fine. Could you set aside the clothes you're wearing next time he says you smell, don't wash them right away, come back to them in a few days when any "nose-blindness" goes away, and see if you can smell whatever he did? At the very least you'll be reassured that you don't smell, which is what I suspect is the case!

Original poster
Jez2510 · 28/01/2025 01:19

AliCatWalk · 28/01/2025 01:15

Hmm, do you do the school run on foot? If you use a vehicle I guess there could be a chance the seat is wet/absorbed some kind of smell...but it does sound like he's the only one with the problem, especially as your hygiene habits sound perfectly fine. Could you set aside the clothes you're wearing next time he says you smell, don't wash them right away, come back to them in a few days when any "nose-blindness" goes away, and see if you can smell whatever he did? At the very least you'll be reassured that you don't smell, which is what I suspect is the case!

On foot, so definitely can't be locked into a car seat or anything like that. That's a very good idea, I'll have to remember to put the clothes aside next time. I do try my hardest to stay clean, I've worked in a shop and come across a few smelly people in my time and never wanted to be one of them!

OP posts:
ARichtGoodDram · 28/01/2025 01:22

Ask one of your friends to be very honest.

I had an infection post partum after DS2 and the smell was driving DH mad as he could smell it and I couldn't. Several friends all claimed I smelled absolutely fine. It was only after the infection was discovered that a couple of my friends felt bad as they could smell it but didn't want me to feel bad.

If nobody else genuinely can smell anything then ask your DH to be specific. Is it your jacket perhaps? Or some boots/trainers? Or is it skin and if so where?

If he can't be specific (or it's everywhere) then it's likely his nose

Original poster
Jez2510 · 28/01/2025 01:26

ARichtGoodDram · 28/01/2025 01:22

Ask one of your friends to be very honest.

I had an infection post partum after DS2 and the smell was driving DH mad as he could smell it and I couldn't. Several friends all claimed I smelled absolutely fine. It was only after the infection was discovered that a couple of my friends felt bad as they could smell it but didn't want me to feel bad.

If nobody else genuinely can smell anything then ask your DH to be specific. Is it your jacket perhaps? Or some boots/trainers? Or is it skin and if so where?

If he can't be specific (or it's everywhere) then it's likely his nose

I'll definitely ask my friend again, she lives next door so I'll ask her to poke her head out and give me a sniff a couple days in a row lol he says it's me and then complains my jumper which I've taken off and hung up also smells.

OP posts:
Nanny0gg · 28/01/2025 01:32

Jez2510 · 28/01/2025 01:01

Have to say, this did make me laugh 😆 he's a nice guy but he doesn't beat around the bush if there's a problem or something needs to be said.

Show quote history

You are too accepting of his spitefulness

You've just had his baby and he's telling you, you stink?

That's unnecessarily mean and I think he's a horrible person. No 'nice guy' would speak to the woman he's supposed to love like that. Even if he was joking

Sparklfairy · 28/01/2025 01:40

I think you need to hatch a plan with your friend tbh, as she lives next door. After the school run one day, have it pre-arranged that you pop into her place and use her shower. Have clean clothes to put on with you/already at her house. Then if he says it when you get back, at least you'll know for sure he's lying.

If he doesn't say it, the cause could be any number of things, but it must be driving you mad not even knowing 100% if it's true!

FictionalCharacter · 28/01/2025 01:43

There's no way "breastfeeding hormones" make you smell like a wet dog after the school run but not before. That just isn't a thing. Breastfeeding mothers don't smell. Yet he's managed to make you believe you stink and got you wondering how you can wash and clean yourself even more.

It's him not you. The fact that he's blaming it on you breastfeeding makes me suspect he's one of those pathetic manbabies who gets resentful when his wife breastfeeds, because he's jealous that the baby (his baby!) is getting his wife's attention and body.

No kind, decent person tells their partner they stink. If they smell of sweat or something else, you tell them kindly and help them fix it. You don't tell them they stink because they're breastfeeding.

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