Husband says I stink

[Jez2510]

Hi everyone,

I'm 15 weeks postpartum and breast feeding, I also have an older child in school. When I get back from school run everyday my husband tells me I "stink like wet dog" even if I've had a bath/shower the night before. He says is probably from the hormones from breastfeeding. No one else has mentioned it and I have asked a couple of female friends if I smell and they say no. I'm doing everything I can think of to help with the smell. Using Fussy deodorant, perfume and nice smelling spray on my clothes. Sometimes I have to wash jumpers after only wearing them the once because he says they stink.

Obviously, this is making me feel very self conscious and embarrassed. I don't want him to lie to me, if I smell I'd rather know but I can't live in the shower when I have a baby to look after,

Has anyone got any tips/tricks to help with this? I use Fussy deodorant as most other antiperspirants seem to make me smell worse!

I would agree with pp about getting an honest friend's opinion. Ask them to be direct because it's giving you stress.

You need to be showering in the morning too. Going to bed and getting up without one is gross.

It's definitely a thing, and in my experience it is strongest and most unpleasant when it's cold and damp outside and you come into a warm environment. Have a read of this

https://www.pressandjournal.co.uk/fp/news/environment/3255625/science-behind-outdoor-smells-ben-dolphin-opinion/

A lot of adults do this and teach their kids to do the same. They dont want to get up a tad earlier to bathe properly in the morning. I know my teacher friend raised it to her form class at school and many said their parents won't let them shower in the mornings or even every day.

Maybe it’s your coat of shoes.

No advice I’m afraid, but just to say, I ‘stank’ postpartum. Mine was most definitely BO, and nothing I did made it any better. Then all of a sudden it stopped. So I imagine this is just hormones.

@Jez2510 OP, you’re reiterating that he‘s not one to beat around the bush. But I do wonder… often people being characterised like this or „very honest and direct“ are just cruel and like to say hurtful things. So what do you mean when you say „he’s not one to beat around the bush“? Can you give examples?

if none of your friends can smell it, he’s the issue not you. And then I wonder what’s going on with him. Also the excuses why he can’t drop the kid off and why can’t watch the baby kind of accumulate with his very unfriendly comment about you.

Not so sure he’s a good partner to be honest.

Okay autistic here! I would almost guarantee that it's definitely the outside cold he's smelling on you.
My children smell of "outside" when they get home from school every afternoon!

I definitely smelled like wet dog while breastfeeding. It was either drops of milk drying on my skin, or just normal sweat affected by hormones. I started exfoliating under and between my breasts and the smell went away. It didn't work if I just washed with my hands (and this was using bar soap too). I think it was getting stuck in my dead skin cells and then became apparent after I had warmed up.

1, go to the GP, rule out any medical problem
2.if none, he has a problem

I agree it might be that outdoors smell people are referring to. I'm quite sensitive to it as well and it's definitely worse in cold or windy weather

One way to find out if it is that is to see if he still thinks you smell when you get home? The smell disappears quite quickly. If it is that then meet his bluntness with your own bluntness though and tell him to stop telling you that you smell

I think I would rather know if I was smelling and if you’re own husband can’t tell you who can . I breastfed and I do remember the milk can smell a bit funny . Do you use breast pads? Maybe see your GP for some checks .

I suspect he’s got a strong sense of smell like me. The damp weather means when people have been near fields and come inside I can really smell it and it does smell like wet dogs.

Right 🙄

What do you want him to say? Not mention the smell at all and let her go about her business smelling not very nice. Sometimes honestly is the best way

If doing the school run makes you smell of wet dog and it bothers DH, he should do the school run instead.

Is there anyone outside of your friendship group and husband that you could ask, who would give an honest opinion? Or is it worth getting checked out at GPs in case there is any chance of post partum infection?

It’s your coat I would guess

OP does your coat need a wash? I find that I can smell something occasionally and I realise it’s my coat.

Exactly. I have been told my feet smell and my mouth had a funny taste when we kissed. Turned out I wasn't washing my feet just letting them get wet in the shower 🤷‍♂️ and funny taste ended up being a throat infection.

when my sister was little and she was done playing outside she would smell of wet dog though so I do think its just a thing some people pick up smells more 😣 we always laugh about it now but I wonder what the hell it was? it's like your skins reaction to the weather.

My husband plays a lot of golf. Lots of getting wet, then dry , then wet. He put his jacket on the oil boiler to dry on Friday. The whole of that end of the house stank of wet dog. Do you wash your coat. If its somewhere near the kitchen it might be absorbing all the smells

Is there anyone else you can ask who you know will tell you the truth? My mum is someone I trust who would tell me the truth gently but directly if I asked her too.

Smells can linger in clothes, I started washing on 30 and found some clothes just didn't always smell clean, just refreshed so went back to 40 and also experimented with wash powder.

This was me after I had dd. It was a mixture of hormones and carrying too much weight. As I started to lose weight and exercise more the smell went away. My husband and I would tell each other if we stank / had bad breath, and neither would find it offensive as we're clean people so it's likely to be we're hot/ been exercising or ate something stinky.